Interracial love and spice.....by Sara

Happy New Year Ladies- Know that You deserve the best!

2012-01-20T11:44:00.005-06:00

Time for you all to go for what you really want and not what the bc considers acceptable.....

Like I was saying about Ms Scott. and others like her. She's a lovely lady and very classy and sweet. I definitely like her, but I take exception with anyone trying to tell black women to engage in a suicide mission! Regardless of how much they might want to believe in black love. The truth of the matter is that black love is deader than the dead sea scrolls and NOTHING can bring it back. It is nothing short of emotional, continual and eventually almost physical suicide for bw to continue wanting a a black prince who is NOT coming! Most bw are all too aware of the bm in their environment, and Im sure most have noticed that when he does have himself together (rare) the first thing he will do is run post haste, and find a non bw to set her up in the good life. I have news for everyone out there who thinks only ww deserve the good life- Black women deserve the good life too! In fact I would venture to say we deserve it more than most other women because most of us have been through more than other women, and suffered more than other women....

So that being said, I just want you ladies to follow your own thoughts, desires and dreams. There is no reason why each and every one of you cannot have a good man and a really good life. Think about the stats for a moment, Even discounting the racist or gay wm, the overwhelming numbers of wm (who are the largest segment of men btw) is still so astronomical that just by opening yourself up and allowing it to be known that color is NOT a deterrent to your heart-you put the odds overwhelmingly in your favor to get exactly the kind of man you are looking for.

Women like Jill and Sherry (the view) do all bw a grave disservice, regardless of whether or not it's intentional. Think about how the bc has for years encouraged and steered bw to ONLY bm regardless of the fact that many bw secretly did NOT want a bm, and regardless of the fact that bm were and are dating the whole world while letting everyone know bw were last on their list. Who benefited from this dichotomy? It was bm. They had their cake and could eat it too, while marrying and ww and giving them their names, their homes, their hearts and their money. They gave bw their used up penis, and threw a few kind words her way on their way out the door! But because of the refusal the bc to even entertain the notion of bw dating out, many bw (but definitely not the ones like me!) felt compelled to take the crumbs they were being dished by bm ( a used up phallic organ) and try to pretend to be happy. This is why songs like " Freak in the mornin" came out and were such big hits. Many bw needed to pretend that a big penis actually meant something. Ask any woman who has a man with a big penis and nothing else to offer if she's happy- and see what answer you get. And if she tries to lie-look in her eyes and see the truth. A penis is nothing but a body part- almost all women want much more. We want his heart, his HELP, his compassion, his monetary value, his love, etc etc. We want the whole package, and for most of us sex is a minor part of our happiness or lack thereof with him...

To convince bw to settle for being sexual toilets is unfair, unacceptable and just plain cruel. Every woman deserves to be some one's queen, and the light of his life not just his bed-warmer. Remember how ppl spoke about bw being forced to be wm's bed warmers in the old days.? Remember what a painful memory it seemed to be when the elders would bring it up? Yet today black folks seem to have no problem coaxing bw to be bed warmers for bm and it's more destructive and pernicious than ever because of stds and babies left behind with a nation of stressed out mothers on the brink of a break down. " Never trust a man to help you get out of a ditch - if he benefits from you staying in it........."

2012-01-20T10:18:00.003-06:00

Happy New Year!!!! 2012!!

I know I'm soooo late with that. Please forgive. It's been a whirlwind year for my family. Besides a new baby, we lost a home in a horrible storm a few months ago, (luckily we had the resources to get another-many Americans currently don't.) .... I don't want to get into it all but we're blessed and happy to be here. Hope you ladies are as well.....

I think it's important to DECIDE to change your life. Whatever you are unhappy with you must make the change. The best way to get going is to write it down and really admit to yourself this is making me unhappy and I want it to change.
For instance many bw more and more are wanting to break away from
the antiquated acting black crew and date/marry out. Many want to start businesses, and many just want general changes. These may consist of losing weight or engaging a hobby they truly enjoy. The point is these things don't just happen. You must make them happen. The weird thing to me that I have noticed in my life is that I can dwell on something and seemingly bring it into my life! It's been the most awe-inspiring thing I've noticed in my life. For instance I can think of a friend I have not seen in quite a while and if I dwell on that person sure enough someone will mention her or tell me how she's doing, or she'll call.
Why is this signifigant? Because you do this all the time too. Everyone has this power. And this is the key to having the life that you want. Most of the things in your life ARE under your control! Let me say that again. Most of the things in your life ARE under your control. You think about them repeatedly, and then you draw them into your life. It happens all the time. Try this the next time you go somewhere where you typically have a hard time finding a parking spot, picture that spot the before you leave and before you arrive. Really think and believe you'll have a great spot, and nine times of ten you will!
My point with all this is that black women are calling their own shots. We don't have to respond like pavlov's dogs reacting to the stimuli the outside world tries to direct us with. We can and do control our own lives...

Although I notice frequently ppl who don't have our best interest at heart will often use ppl who look like us to influence us. Don't be fooled follow your own heart, and never trust those who benefit from you being in the ditch, to help you get out of it. Or even those who may not have malevolent interests but simply can't see the light for themselves. I've told you ladies many times ppl who cannot see it for themselves, will almost never be able to see it for you!

Take for example, Jill Scott. who is a wonderful lady and a beautiful woman. But if all she sees for herself is a bm, (and feels strongly about it) then she will impose that view on every woman in her emotional vicinity. Not because she is vindictive, but because she is seeing the world through her own ideaology. Many times well meaning ppl are blinded by their own beleifs and shortcomings. This is why the bible says "Without a vision the people perish" You must have your own vision for your life and not let others lead you....... To be cont'd

Be careful what you wish for.....

2011-06-09T10:28:00.004-05:00

This is a new book by Veronica Blakely (to the left) This is the reason why so many bw cannot find good (other) men. They have not pulled their eyes away from misogynistic, women- using bm.....

All you ladies out there wishing brothras would come back home, take that nightmare and shove it on other women! The last thing most bw need is for bm to come back! And yet here we have another silly lady begging them to do just that.

It really steams me when another one of these silly, useless, Brotha-come-back-home books come out. And it seems they always get alot of press and attention, making the problem even more prevalent. The truth is the last thing most bw need is a bm! Most bm are as good to bw as a hole in the head. Not that there are not some good ones, but even most of the good ones are Not looking at bw are wife material. Most are using bw for money, sex, shelter, or other benefits. With no benefits for her except pain and frustration. Most bw involved with bm are NOT in relationships. They are in Userships. And are being used on a regular basis, for whatever the man needs or can get.....

It is utterly ridiculous to write a book that expands the already over-indulged ego of these men-boys in an effort to show them you are in their corner. Someone who is NOT in your corner does not give a damn whether you are in theirs or not-can't these women see that? I'm always amazed at the depth of naivety when it comes to these issues. I'm amazed because bm make it very very obvious how they really feel when they disrespect bw through song. When they harass, main, rape and kill bw on a regular basis, and when they use bw for baby holders while wifing other women with abandon. And still silly little foolish women refuse to believe their lying eyes and choose instead to believe the constant lies these men feed them. Sad......

Ladies when books like these are written the only thing that changes is the egos in most bm grow larger and larger. They know these silly women are out there begging for their time and attention, and that she will foot bills, and make herself available sexually and otherwise to gain mere scraps of attention from him. They are the reason most bm are so under motivated, and lagging so far behind other men as it is. They are a primary reason the average bm will have nothing to brag about in his lifetime, other than his sexual prowess! -which is soooooo overrated-it's almost a joke.

I know someone quite close to me who wanted to marry her child's father desperately. He was not interested (for years) until she suddenly got a good job with the state. All the sudden he was more than ready to get married and could not wait to get her down the isle. Now seven years later. She foots 90% of the bills in the house. He is on HER medical insurance/dental. She takes care of the kids, has to rush home and clean, cook, and run everyone everywhere they need to go. She is hurried, stressed, overworked, and miserable. She confessed to me that she no longer even enjoys the sex because he wants it's constantly whether she's in the mood or not, and wants her to do "things" to "keep a brotha happy!"

Her life is a living hell now. She has no time for herself. They have 3 children and all of their care is on her. She is constantly working, and trying to take care of everyone, is forced to have sex an average of twice a night with only 6 hours to sleep, and has to pay almost all the bills! In seven years this beautiful woman has gone from a dark luminescent beauty to looking like someone run over by a truck! This is why I say be careful what you wish for....

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Only a fool wants someone who does not want them! Bm have made their feelings clear. And yet you have silly women like these begging them to reconsider, begging for time and understanding! How stupid! That's like someone smacking you down, and you jump up crying

" But baby I love you, and you love me-I know you didn't mean to hit me!"

IF he hit you then he meant to hit you! And only a fool wants that kind of dysfunction perpetrating as love. Bw must wake up! Why the hell would ANYONE want bm back? Think about it. Were they ever a great asset? Maybe once upon a time they took care of their children but look at them now! Over 80% of blk babies are being born out of wedlock (with over 90% left on the mother) and most of those women are struggling mightily to bring them up on their own. Most of those fathers are gone and don't even bother to look back-it that man behavior? I can't think of why in the world anyone would want these men back! But maybe I'm missing something... like the joy of being a baby momma, paying bills alone... having someone use me for my body, my money, my nice house-Gee what could I be thinking.......

Reading the signs to know if he's a keeper....

2011-05-31T13:38:00.005-05:00

Some of this is a no-brainer ladies. And some of it is less obvious. For instance, if a man is hanging on the corner with his pants hanging off his butt, and drinking out of a paper bag, obviously this man is NOT husband material. Some of you bemoan the fact that you attract one loser after another but refuse to open your eyes and see the signs. Hopefully the man I just mentioned is young, and with time will pull up his pants and get his act together. But so many times I see women expecting a pauper to turn into a prince.

It simply will not happen. Psychologists say that by the age of 2 a boy's personality is already set. So obviously by the time he's old enough to date, he is what he is. Stop thinking that you can change him, you cannot. The only time men change is when they want to. By the time boys reach adolescence, they stop listening to the females in their environment, and begin to emulate the males around them. However misguided and damaged those males may be. This is why it is so imperative to live in good areas where your sons will have a minimal amount of exposure to the most vile and damaged men. This is also why a good strong father in that child's life is almost the very best gift you can give that child.

But back to the signs.... Many women feel that the ex-wife or gf of their man is instantly their enemy, or opponent. This is usually not the case. Unless she is catty, or malicious, an ex can be a font of great info and content regarding your intended. She can tell you what makes him tick, if he's commitment phobic, or has other issues, don't take her word as law, keep your eyes open and take everything into consideration. Here are some qualities you definitely want to look for if you are in the market for a husband
. Responsible, Amiable, Kind, considerate, honest, sincere, loving, romantic, common sense, gentle, well off, financially solvent, ambitious, generous, clean, sexy, Intelligent, attractive etc.

It's important to know what's most important to YOU. Write down the qualities that you know you must have and make your your man has them. Some women want a man who looks like Brad Pitt or Morris chestnut. For my taste, they're both beautiful, but that would be at the bottom of my list. I would be far more interested in his intelligence, and relatability. Before I married, I knew exactly what I wanted. You have to do the same thing. KNOW what you want. It's very hard to obtain a vague or undefined goal.

It's really easy to know exactly what's going on with a man. All you have to do is listen and watch. Men will give themselves away every time. They just don't have the sophistication to obscure their true intentions for long. Have a getting to know you period with any man you think would qualify as a potential mate. And for God's sake, do NOT sleep with him during this period. Men will pretend to be anyone they think you want to see, in order to bed a woman! Also, sex blurs a woman's defenses, as well as her vision. The man will start to immediately look alot better to her if she has slept with him. This is natures attempt to protect procreation. This is why the old timers used to say," you lay on your back, you lose your head." Be sweet as a Georgia peach, but keep that strong inner core, and watch him....

GETTING TO KNOW THE REAL 'HIM'
In order to really get to know the man you're interested in, you need to observe him in a variety of settings. How does he interact with his family, his friends, what is his stance on politics and other controversial subjects. Is he truly a 'good person' or just faking it to reel you in? Listening to his family is another great way to truly see the inner him. How is his temper? Is he ready to curse someone out for cutting him off, or is he more laid back and mellow. If a tempermental man is a turn off for you, then don't bother to continue dating a man who angers readily. Btw, that's a bad characteristic anyway, given a world in which ppl often antagonize each other on a daily basis. You really should seek a more even tempered man. A man who is NOT a slave to his emotions. A well rounded adult is always slow to anger, and even slower to rage. These are not sexy qualities and many misguided women claim. These are warning signs of trouble!

DO YOU SHARE HIS VALUES
This is probably the MOST important characteristic of a good relationship. Couples who achieve longevity inevitably share common values. They may be different races, and backgrounds, but inevitably they have common values and this serves to bind them into a meaningful and long lasting union. For example, she comes from a small family who has struggled strenuously against poverty. He comes from a large well off Jewish family who has never known lack. On the surface it would seem they have little in common. People are actually amazed that they stay together. But what they don't see behind the outer veneer is that they both strongly believe in family, togetherness, and have a strong commitment to unity....Trust and believe that ppl who have opposing values have very little chance of remaining together for long....

HIS SEXUALITY...
It is very important for a man to control his sexuality. This is something that real men automatically do. He may desire a women tremendously, but he will wait until he is permitted into her inner lair before anything happens. And even then he will take pains to protect them both. He will never allow his loins to 'lead' him. Not being able to control one's loins is the hallmark of children or brutes. Think about the poor defenseless women of many African countries being routinely raped and brutalized by the animals they call 'men' Real men ALWAYS control their sexuality and would NEVER take what a lady refuses to give him...

And they call BW -GOLDDIGGERS!

2011-04-05T13:39:00.008-05:00

Tiger and Elin in days gone by....

The former nanny hit the big one for sure!

ELIN TO RECEIVE 750 to 833 MILLION DOLLARS IN HER DIVORCE FROM TIGER!!!

It's absolutely incredible to me that this woman (so called super model because she's white, pretty, and took a few pictures) can legally extort this much money from this man! I mean this is better than the best robbers in the world could ever plan. She is set to get an whopping 75% of his money!!! The most bothersome part is everyone is so hush hush like she deserves it! It reminds me of the Michael S. case where the judge assigned more money to his ex-ww than he was worth! My point is ww have been doing this as long as bm have been becoming successful and then finding a ww. Yet ppl were up in arms because because Kelis asked for spousal support (temporary) to support her new child after her divorcefrom Nas. Many bp called her a gold digger and accused her of trying to take her rapper ex-hubby to the cleaners. For asking for temporary support!

It's unbelievable the amounts of money ww often take these foolish bm for while everyone shakes their heads and remain silent. Yet I think we all know if bw ask for ANYTHING-she's immediately labeled a GD. The point is Nobody needs this much money! There has never even been a lottery this big! Think about it. This little NANNY can marry this man, and literally take him to the cleaners and nothing is said, yet all hell breaks lose if a bw asks a bm to support his children!

In case anyone is clueless to what I'm saying, I'm saying un-equivocally that this woman is a TRUE GOLD DIGGER, and has the help and support of the lawyers and others to rob this man of his hard earned largess. I think it should be illegal to get a divorce settlement of this magnitude. It absolutely reeks of rampant greed and uncontrollable excess.

But of course this is what Lionel Richie's ex ww did to him after SHE was caught cheating on him! It kind of hard to feel sorry for men who are enamored with white that they'll put up with anything. I guess Tiger the (I hate anything black) learned the hard way that the the grass is not always whiter on the other side... But truthfully though even though he was a fool, it still sickens my stomach to think of this nanny being legally able to rob him so easily, and with the blessings of many significant people. I think it's outrageous, but that's just my opinion. I remember when he married her and everyone had the nerve to saying how HE WAS LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN! To me this translated into beautiful WHITE WOMAN, which even the white media seems to know is secretly the dream of many bm. I couldn't understand how they could say that HE was the lucky one because as a billionaire, I'm sure beautiful women are like leaves on trees for him-IOWs- everywhere!

I mean far be it from me to stick up for this sexaholic, that is not the point of this post before some of you lose your mind, I just don't think ANY man should lose 75% of his livelihood in a divorce settlement!! Can you imagine being a man and working for years to lose 3/4 of your resources in 1 divorce! That's just unbelievable! He originally offered her 70 million which the former nanny had the nerve to turn her pretty nose up at,-just unbelievable! Anyway, I've got to ask you ladies what you think of this situation-do you think this was fair in any way???

Sidenote:

Well it's all said and done and her take is 750 mil, said to be the largest settlement of any Celeb couple. So I guess next time he'll definitely 'keep it in his pants. It's just interesting to me because I think we all know that if their races were reversed any bw asking for even one fourth this type of money would be crusified in the media as well as the BC (think Robyn Givens) so it just goes to show that ww are definitely on that pedistal, and many ppl have a vested interest in keeping them there.....

Now the trash in our community spills over....

2011-03-23T12:40:00.002-05:00

These are SOME of the monsters who raped and violated an 11 year old Hispanic girl....

I'm horrified this happened (of course) but I'm glad the world will now have a chance to see the horrors that ordinary, everyday bw have been dealing with.

As you can see some of them look like angry damaged men. But some of them don't. Maybe the ones who don't are twice as scary because they look so harmless. Take a look at the guy at the bottom (middle) He's attractive and even intelligent looking yet he's right there with the other monsters who did this to this poor young girl. Make no mistake about it. The Hispanic community is NOT like the bc, in the sense that they will NOT simply say she asked for it and let it go. Unlike the sick deplorable bc, they actually PROTECT their women and children, and heads WILL roll over this travesty.

The worst part is the the bc trying to come out and make excuses once again. "She asked for it" " Do you know how she was dressed?" "She looked more like a grown woman than a child!"

These are some of the comments coming from the acting black crew and their perpetual protectors. These men should be locked up and thrown under the jail, but instead you have these sick perverts being protected by equally sick other blacks and mammies.

There is NO justification for raping ANY woman but to rape a child puts you in the category of demons as far as I'm concerned, and you should be treated as such! I'm so horrified that they would try to pass this crime against a child off as typical male behavior, I'm speechless.

Now the black panthers are getting into the act with Quanell X claiming bm are being singled out and that other men probably took part in this gang rape as well! This is his response word for word....

"I believe that every man who had sex with this child should go to prison, I don't care what his color is. But I don't believe that black men are the only ones who had sex with this young child.

It appears there's been selective prosecution of one community, which is African American....

This is nothing but obfuscation! Throw the dirt in every direction and hope it lands on someone else, thus making you look a little less dirty in the process! The truth is bw have been the victims of bm stalking, them, cursing them, assaulting them, raping them and killing them for so long, that when they turn their damaged eyes toward other females, the world is actually shocked. But my grandmother always told me, If you don't say anything to billy Joe when he attacks your neighbor, don't expect anyone to say anything when he attacks you! I've found this to be very true in life. Garbage rolls downhill. When bw were under constant attack by bm at every turn, and other races felt it did not concern them, I knew it would be just a matter of time before bm became their problem as well. Mark my words ww as well will soon be their targets. Evil unchecked becomes evil in totality. Victimizers are always looking for NEW victims.

Did you know that when the Nazis took over Germany and began to eradicate the Jews, (6 million+) they also began to kill Gypsies, Hispanics, blacks, Homosexuals as well as everyone who did NOT resemble their ideal Aryan German? That's evil unchecked. That's what happens when good people say nothing, and that's all it takes for evil to grow...

I'm so sad about this little girl, but I hope you all can see the danger in saying nothing and hoping these monsters simply stay away. They won't. By remaining silent we give them more power. Bp who still have their faculties and can see how horrible this is have got to stand up and separate themselves from the monsters now and not coddle them. They deserve whatever punishment they receive. Don't feel sorry for them. Don't tell me how misunderstood they are. Let them face the consequences of their actions! I don't really care how their childhood was or what might have caused them to do something this horrible to a little girl. I just hope they all rot in hell very slowly........

Ugh! How can you love a white man?

2011-01-14T14:28:00.005-06:00

Princess Angela with hubby (the Prince) and son.

Handsome Hispanic man and his lovely bride...

I was showing family pictures to a total stranger when I got "the question"

I just stared at her because we were standing outside a mutual friends house, and she and I barely knew each other!" Excuse me!" I finally managed to stammer angrily. I shot her a look that shut her up fast. How dare a total stranger question me on MY LIFE!

Have any of you ladies ever gotten this question from friend and family? I love I have, and it's one I really despise. First of all it's asinine, and second it's ridiculous. A better question to me is:

Why would you worry about his color instead of his heart? That's a question many bw need to ask themselves. Far, far too many good men are going to waste looking for women who are tying themselves to losers and settling for nothing.

But I've noticed that many people will try many tactics to keep a bw in her place. And I'm sure you've all noticed that sometimes those ppl share a color or even gender with you. I remember being at the library staring at the computer (which featured the gorgeous David Beckham) A bw nearby made a gagging sound in her throat and then murmured angrily in my direction, that I should be looking at Denzel. I replied calmly that although I like Denzel very much -he's not really my cup of tea. You would have thought I committed a crime! She turned pale and practically ran away with a horrified look on her face ( like she was about to faint) I just calmly kept looking at what I was looking at....

Ladies NEVER let anyone tell you who you are ALLOWED to be attracted to or in love with. That's ridiculous. If any of you caught that Oprah show a few years back where a ww declared to an audience of predominantly ww "We sure love the brothers don't we?" The audience clapped and cheered. They really didn't give a damn if the bw there took issue with their comments. They were not about to let bw or anyone else dictate who they were allowed to be attracted to. Oprah just shook her head, and smiled. She was used to ww declaring themselves open and unashamedly.

If only bw would do the same. I know something many of you ladies don't know. I know that where ever you are right now, there's a wm near you with his eye on you. He's just waiting for some kind of go sign from you. So many times I've instructed women on ways to let a man know she was interested and watched their love bloom, so I do know what I'm talking about. Many of my post have referred to this time and again. As I've told bw many times, because of the sordid history wm have had to live down, as well as the mistrust that has been spoon fed to bw about wm since baby-hood, many wm are very weary about trying to date bw.

This is why you MUST let him know that there is an interest there. He won't move in if he feels for a second that you're going to start screaming " White boy please!" and laughing your ignorant head off. This I've actually seen happen! The man turned red, and walked away, and I'm sure it was a long time (if ever) before he asked another bw out....

So when I get that stupid question, I don't answer. It's just too stupid to require a reply. I always look at the person calmly and wait for them to feel as stupid as they sound. It almost always works. The truth is I've been attracted to wm since my teen years, and I just don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone. I'm sure you ladies have noticed on Evia's site the numerous wm who loving and snatching up the darker bw, that bm often leave behind. It's really exciting to see these women looking so happy, and realizing they finally found someone who thinks their ebony hued skin is beautiful (which it is) and finally feeling loved, desired and appreciated....

If you haven't been there in a while go check it out. Those wm are snatching up those dark women like gold nuggets out of the ground! I love it!

So how can you love a wm? I can't figure out how you can't!!! I love the looks, the sense of sefl and the intelligence that many wm seem to emit effortlessly. And their talk goes so much deeper than "Hey shortie, can I gecha number?" So tell me ladies -what do you love about them, and how do you respond to that silly question???

How to save your daughters from the boys in the hood....

2010-12-10T14:27:00.007-06:00

lovely college student killed for her refusal to date a damaged man

We've all seen it. The young girls dragging strollers as they trudge along in the hood. Looking scared,and desperate, or sometimes trying to put on the mean face to discourage would be combatants. We've all seen the desperation on the faces of young women trying to hold on financially or spiritually as these predators get their fill and move on to more promising targets. It's horrible but it's a sad fact of life. The truth is palpable, but ppl who are NOT going anywhere are out to drag you and yours down with them.

So how do you protect your children?

To me this is pretty obvious. You should not be there! Don't let your children hang in the hood. Severely limit their time even passing through, and definitely discourage their friendships with ppl who would be described as hood- identified.

Now first I need to put in a disclaimer because I do not wish to be mis-quoted.

There are a lot of good ppl in the hood without question, I am in no way disputing this obvious fact. But I feel it is an equally obvious fact that the worst place in the world for any young woman to look for a husband is in the hood or other black enclaves. The men in these places (MOST) are low skilled, deviant, angry over forces beyond their control. Most have been conditioned to hang on the streets, indulge in activities which exceed the bounds of legality in order to get funds, or use women in multiple ways in order to augment their paltry incomes or satisfy Their sexual and non sexual needs...Most of these men are very detrimental to the naive women they become involved with, and sometimes the results are even deadly as many of these men are involved with illegal activities and dangerous characters which are then visited upon the women involved.

I strongly believe one of the worst things people can do is to allow their daughters COMPLETE freedom as a young girl to date indiscriminately anyone she chooses. I know this will be a very controversial subject and I certainly empathise with the passion this line of belief will undoubtedly raise. But young girls are quite vulnerable, and naive. And they must be encouraged, educated, protect ed, and steered to a better class of men! They cannot be allowed to simply bring home the first fool who winks at them. They must be guided and made to see that dating and marrying the wrong man can influence and negatively affect them and their offspring for the rest of their lives. I'm sorry some of you are pulling out your hair right now in anger, but someone has to say it. Most of the boys in the hood are NOT husband material and most never will be. I just want to post a few scenarios to explain why I know this to be true, and then we can discuss it en mass....

I know someone who has young teens whom she fought arduously to remove from the hood, but problems had already surfaced before she could get out.....

She had fought hard to get herself and her children out of the hood, but her daughter had fallen for some gang member before they left. She immediately had to contend with her daughter sneaking back at (16) to see this 20-something year old thug. He encouraged her daughter to lie to her, and to sneak off as often as she could. I advised her to take her daughter deep into the old neighborhood. Show her how those women and girls really lived. Rip off the veneer of glamour and reveal the real ugly truth behind ghetto life. Show her the baby daddies who run off and leave those women struggling alone. Show her the little children trying to get themselves off to school because mom is already at a job she's struggling to keep, and cannot take them. Show them the loss of hope, and utter despair that permeates these type of environments.

I told her to show the despair and pain behind gang-affiliated life styles and the wake of bodies left behind. Sometimes scaring a child straight can be a very effective deterent.

I remember being a child in Hawaii. We were in class one day and our teacher showed us a film on drug use. I remember being totally horrified by the lifestyle portrayed by the film. People were shooting up, having bleeped out sex scenes with strangers throwing up in the streets and more... I immediately associated drug use with losers and lower forms of life in my young mind. This one film kept me from ever even smoking a joint all these years. I could not conceive of being addicted to any substance, and therefore was unwilling to even try any of them. To this day, I have never tried any drug, not even cigarettes. This is the power of scaring a child straight. So many girls do not know where they are headed as they travel full speed toward a cliff! You must let them know. My associate did not take my advice. She thought I was overreacting and that her daughter would come to her senses. Her daughter is now pregnant by a loser who is the father of 3 other children and is now incarcerated. Her daughter has dropped out of HS, and thrown away all of her youthful dreams, as her baby-daddy told her they were silly and for white girls. She also is being hunted by one of his other baby mamas as he told baby mama #2 she had seduced him to get pregnant...

She has tried to talk to her daughter about leaving him alone but she is a now a fool in love, and will not listen. This is what happens when you allow the bc to get into your child. Ladies you must do EVERYTHING within your power to keep this scenario from happening. These girls are throwing their lives away! You all know about my young cousin and how she was kicked out of one man's bed because he had another young girl coming to the same UNCHANGED bed with the SAME condom and SAME sheets. Well that same cousin is now the mother of 3 children by 3 different men. She just gave birth again last week. None of the fathers will step up, she is mired in poverty and desperation, and is one of the saddest young women you have ever seen. I tried to talk to her for years but she always told me to mind my business, and could do as she pleased. Well I guess she certainly has done as she pleased. The saddest thing is her story is SOOOOO common in the hood. She has two friends who both have babies by the same guy. They constantly fight each other for his crumbs of attention. He does not take care of theirs or his other children and encourages them to fight over him.... sad but common...

I can only tell you ladies what we did. When my very young teen was trying to date a ne'er to do well boy from the hood(where much of my family still lives) We made life very hard for her. We forbid almost every date on some technical reason. We imposed unreasonable time limits. We made it clear he was not welcome anywhere near the house and we increased her chores so she would not be able to go. Was that fair? I don't know. I was fighting for my daughter and did not really give a damn about fair. We just did not want him anywhere near her, and we made it very clear. It was not long before she got tired of fighting us and began dating someone far more suitable....

So I would love to hear your stories ladies and your take on this situation for all the mothers who do not want their daughters to be left behind baby mommas and sexual toilets to the damaged predators out there....

BW-stop deferring to bm's egos, and simply say what you mean!

2010-11-18T14:59:00.008-06:00

Regina king caused a stir recently when she wisely advised bw to stop waiting for their black knight in shining armor (who is probably out chasing Ming lee, Chelsea, or Maria) and simply date out. Some sites tore her apart, but some seemed more open minded, and fair.

One site in particular, I felt gave a fair and accurate perception of IR dating, but I still found it rather disturbing on another unfortunate level.

I noticed that many of the bw who responded to the article, prefaced their comments with soothing words like, "Well I love my brothers but...." or "I prefer a bm but...."

This seemed to be a common theme, or tag line.

Now I truly care about and want the best for bw, but I swear sometimes their (collective) obtuseness confounds me!

First of all, I simply am not, and never will be crazy about anyone who has made it painfully clear that me, and women who look like me are not even on their list! That just plain silliness, and utter stupidity. That's like someone screaming in your face;

"You're ugly, stupid, lazy, and fat!" While you respond "Baby please don't say that! -I love you soooo much!!!" Wake up and get a clue! If bm are out there upholding the beauty, femininity, character, and attractiveness of WW, while throwing you under the bus, why in God's name would you be walking on eggshells, and doing everything but a tap dance to protect his pathetic ego!!! Let me ask the question in another way, because I don't want to be accused of inciting bm-hatred. That's not what this is about. I don't hate bm, and I hope you don't either because that's a lot of wasted time and emotion.

What I am saying is that if someone does not give a damn about your feelings and your ego, stop being so damned concerned about his! It's really that simple. I believe very much in treating people in like manner to how they treat me. Now I believe very much in having class, and fighting with your wits as much as possible (instead of your fists) but I also believe in calling a spade a spade.

All this equivocation is dangerous ladies. It derails the real conversations we need to be having, and it forces people to cover up, and privatise their true feelings. When is the last time you heard bm put in all these qualifiers when engaged in conversation about bw? Think about Ice T's comments when he was asked about how he felt about the fact that many bw were angry about his marriage to a ww.

"I don't give a damn what bw think about my white wife" He quickly retorted. The truth is this is an honest response. Why do bw hem and haw, and become sickeningly servile when asked similar questions. Think about Halle being asked (in an annoyed voice) by a reporter.

"So why did you decide to date a WM? " Her body language became almost apologetic, as she nervously laughed and said. " Well, I tried black men over and over -I really tried!...." She seemed almost to be begging for understanding. With nervous laughter, gestures, and near pleading eyes...

Ladies, you have a right to love ANYONE YOU CHOOSE! Stop posturing, and wallowing in servility. Hold your love up proudly, the same way you would demand he hold you up!

It is dangerous and detrimental to your relationships for many reasons to preface your comments with qualifiers, apologies, and false compliments to bm. The most salient problem being; YOUR WM CAN FEEL THE APOLOGY OOZING OUT OF YOU!!!

He's not stupid. If you become unsure, nervous, and penitent about your relationship with him, it's only going to cause problems between the two of you. (DUH) Think about how you would feel if a ww were in the vicinity and be began to walk away from you, pretended he didn't know you, or worse yet, when asked if you were his wife/gf, turned red, and began to hem and haw!

I think we all know there would be hell to pay. Well I would like to ask you how do you think wm/non- bm feel when you do it to them? And if you were a non/bm trying to ask a bw out, and you heard her saying things like "I loves me a beautiful bm!" -" I really wanted a brotha but..." or the worse one of all (AND A TOTAL LIE) "You know no man can satisfy you like a brotha!"

Ask yourself. Would you still ask this woman out, or would you cross her off the list?

So I would hopefully ask all the Bw on the fence, and all the totally off limits to anything but a bm, bw (you poor fools) that you keep your silly and inane comments to yourself.

You've probably already destroyed your chances with all the wm who know you. Let the women who have enough sense to be open, get their man. Stop discouraging their prospects and chances with your silly comments.....

Here is RK's statement below; followed by some comments which illustrate my point

Regina King says, Black Women Should Date Other Races
Regina King recently released an article on Vibe.com about Black women and our need to explore our options in mates. She believes that black women should stop limiting ourselves to Black men. According to her, dating only Black men lowers our likelihood of finding love.
King says:
Of all groups of people, Black women are the least likely group of women that will date outside of their race. When you have everyone else who is willing to explore but a Black woman is like, “I want me a brother,” well, if the brothers are out and they’re open to date everybody and the majority of Black women aren’t willing to look twice when a man outside of their race is sending them messages, then that makes our percentage rate lower and the chances of finding love, because we’re only looking in one specific place for finding love—with Black men.
She goes on to state:
Every single one of my girlfriends won’t date men that aren’t Black…I think Black women need to open up. A lot of Black women still carry a lot of pain when they see Black men with women who aren’t Black and that’s really unfortunate that that could make us so upset. It has to do with self esteem.

Comments from the readers:

I don’t know about that. I just can’t see myself with a white dude. But I do get her point. Maybe its time for us to stop complaining and just branch out.....

Up until a few weeks ago my mantra was “I only want to date, marry a black man” but I find my views changing towards that. If we only date black men we are limiting ourselves of an opportunity to find love. I would prefer a black man but...

May 8, 2010 at 11:08 am
My highschool sweetheart was white and we were together on and off for about 5 years. I would prefer to to have alittle brown family but.....

Very interesting dialogue. Has anyone every thought about the fact that there just are enough black men to go around? I mean, I love me a beautiful black man, but the reality is that we (black women) out number them and if the majority of us don’t open up our options, we will join the already 70% or more of black ....

The simple truth is-children DO need fathers-and his color is irrelevant!

2010-10-19T11:52:00.009-05:00

So sorry ladies, We've had 2 deaths and one very catastrophic illness going on in the family, and I've know I've neglected my blog horribly. I apologize, I've been grieving and very distracted. But I've missed everyone something fierce though-and I hope all is well with all of you......

Moving on....

I think the importance of fathers is without precedent. I think it's so very important for children to have fathers in their lives. I truly believe the black race is in the horrible state that it's in right now because of the horrendous LACK of fathers. It's definitely time for most bw to move on.

I remember when Pres. Obama tried to address this in a poignant speech to thousands of ppl. Bp immediately became miffed and accused him of pandering to his 'white side'. They protested, stomped, and made such a fuss, he let the issue lapse, but his face looked tortured and concerned at the 'stupidity' of bp. Now I know I'll offend some with that statement, but lets call a spade a spade, Anyone who cannot see that innocent children need fathers (even if they seem ok with just a mother) is either disillusioned, or out of touch. Let's face it . You may be the best mother in the world, but you're children will secretly long for and NEED a father!!!

Look at this quote from:Source: Wade Horn and Andrew Bush, "Fathers, Marriage, and Welfare Reform,"Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997,

CHILDREN NEED FATHERS, STUDY SHOWS Most states have focused almost exclusively on welfare-to-work strategies in response to 1996 federal welfare reforms. But this doesn't address the greatest danger to the well-being of children in the United States, says a Hudson Institute study: the fact that nearly four out of every 10 children are being raised without their fathers.The states should restructure their programs to promote fatherhood and marriage, say researchers Wade Horn and Andrew Bush. Building strong families would improve the life chances of children and help rebuild low-income communities.*Among long-term prison inmates, 70 percent grew up without fathers, as did 60 percent of rapists and 75 percent of adolescents charged with murder.* Fatherless children are three times more likely to fail school, require psychiatric treatment and commit suicide as adolescents.*They are also up to 40 times more likely to experience child abuse compared with children growing up in two-parent families....

This is an excerpt from Pres. Obama in his speech to fathers that caused such an uproar....

Father’s Day not just as a father grateful to be present in my daughters’ lives but also as a son who grew up without a father in my own life. My father left my family when I was 2 years old, and I knew him mainly from the letters he wrote and the stories my family told. And while I was lucky to have two wonderful grandparents who poured everything they had into helping my mother raise my sister and me, I still felt the weight of his absence throughout my childhood. As an adult, working as a community organizer and later as a legislator, I would often walk through the streets of Chicago’s South Side and see boys marked by that same absence—boys without supervision or direction or anyone to help them as they struggled to grow into men. I identified with their frustration and disengagement—with their sense of having been let down. In many ways, I came to understand the importance of fatherhood through its absence—both in my life and in the lives of others. I came to understand that the hole a man leaves when he abandons his responsibility to his children is one that no government can fill. We can do everything possible to provide good jobs and good schools and safe streets for our kids, but it will never be enough to fully make up the difference. That is why we need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one.
As fathers, we need to be involved in our children’s lives not just when it’s convenient or easy, and not just when they’re doing well—but when it’s difficult and thankless, and they’re struggling. That is when they need us most. And it’s not enough to just be physically present. Too often, especially during tough economic times like these, we are emotionally absent: distracted, consumed by what’s happening in our own lives, worried about keeping our jobs and paying our bills, unsure if we’ll be able to give our kids the same opportunities we had. Our children can tell. They know when we’re not fully there. And that disengagement sends a clear message—whether we mean it or not—about where among our priorities they fall. So we need to step out of our own heads and tune in. We need to turn off the television and start talking with our kids, and listening to them, and understanding what’s going on in their lives. We need to set limits and expectations. We need to replace that video game with a book and make sure that homework gets done. We need to say to our daughters, Don’t ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for your goals. We need to tell our sons, Those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in our house, we find glory in achievement, self-respect, and hard work. We need to realize that we are our children’s first and best teachers. When we are selfish or inconsiderate, when we mistreat our wives or girlfriends, when we cut corners or fail to control our tempers, our children learn from that—and it’s no surprise when we see those behaviors in our schools or on our streets. But it also works the other way around. When we work hard, treat others with respect, spend within our means, and contribute to our communities, those are the lessons our children learn. And that is what so many fathers are doing every day—coaching soccer and Little League, going to those school assemblies and parent-teacher conferences, scrimping and saving and working that extra shift so their kids can go to college. They are fulfilling their most fundamental duty as fathers: to show their children, by example, the kind of people they want them to become. I came to understand that the hole a man leaves when he abandons his responsibility to his children is one that no government can fill. We can do everything possible to provide good jobs and good schools and safe streets for our kids, but it will never be enough to fully make up the difference. That is why we need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one.
As fathers, we need to be involved in our children’s lives not just when it’s convenient or easy, and not just when they’re doing well—but when it’s difficult and thankless, and they’re struggling. That is when they need us most. And it’s not enough to just be physically present. Too often, especially during tough economic times like these, we are emotionally absent: distracted, consumed by what’s happening in our own lives, worried about keeping our jobs and paying our bills, unsure if we’ll be able to give our kids the same opportunities we had. Our children can tell. They know when we’re not fully there. And that disengagement sends a clear message—whether we mean it or not—about where among our priorities they fall. So we need to step out of our own heads and tune in. We need to turn off the television and start talking with our kids, and listening to them, and understanding what’s going on in their lives. We need to set limits and expectations. We need to replace that video game with a book and make sure that homework gets done. We need to say to our daughters, Don’t ever let images on TV tell you what you are worth, because I expect you to dream without limit and reach for your goals. We need to tell our sons, Those songs on the radio may glorify violence, but in our house, we find glory in achievement, self-respect, and hard work. We need to realize that we are our children’s first and best teachers. When we are selfish or inconsiderate, when we mistreat our wives or girlfriends, when we cut corners or fail to control our tempers, our children learn from that—and it’s no surprise when we see those behaviors in our schools or on our streets. But it also works the other way around. When we work hard, treat others with respect, spend within our means, and contribute to our communities, those are the lessons our children learn. And that is what so many fathers are doing every day.....

I think he says it all. The importance of fathers is unmitigated. It's so sad to me to see so many women convincing themselves that their children do not need one. I pray that my sisters wake up because in the bc over 80% of black babies are being born OUTSIDE of wedlock! And many if not most of these babies will NOT have a father in their lives, and yet we have the audacity to wonder why our children are running wild, and reeking havoc...

Ladies please wake up. If bm will not step up, and I think we can all see that they won't. (probably because most of them are still little boys themselves) give other men the chance-for God's sake! stop waiting for bm to act like men (It will prob-never happen) move on and find men WILL be fathers to your children, who WILL love them and WILL care for them. You deserve a better man, and your babies certainly deserve-and Need- REAL fathers.....

Why they try so hard to convince everyone-we don't want other races...

2010-08-10T17:46:00.004-05:00

Black woman looking with obvious interest at handsome wm....

Very attractive, and well endowed Asian man poses for camera.....

Why do people feel that they have the right to speak for bw? Why do they feel that they have the right to tell us what we feel and think? Or for that matter, what we want? It's incredible to me the number of people trying to mold and manipulate bw. I'm not only speaking in regards to Chris Rock, saying that bw were not attracted to wm, and would only "sleep with pretty white boys, but did not really want them". How would CR know, is he a black woman? No, he is not, and yet he proposes to TELL us what we want, and what we DESIRE! It's outrageous to me that men like him continue to try to control and cajole us into submission....

But more to the point, I'm speaking of a recent "committee" that was formed to decide if it was ok for bw to date out! Since when do we need anyone's permission to do as we please! Every time you turn around it seems that people are trying to tell bw what we can and cannot do, almost as if we don't have minds of our own. Case in point.... My sisters and I were at the mall the other day, and we watched a blk couple get into a disagreement because the woman told her (bf?) that she didn't like to kiss in public. After trying to no avail to change her mind, he simply grabbed the back of her permed head, leaned her backwards, and forced a rough, sloppy, wet kiss on her mouth. When he let her back up, it was obvious that she was angry and embarrassed. She angrily adjusted her clothing, and swiped roughly at her mouth. She seemed visibly upset but he smiled smugly at her, and smirked: "Now you like that sh*t -didn't you" She stalked angrily off, and when she failed to return in response to his calls, he began to curse at her. Security threw him out, and he continued to call to her. He simply could not believe that she was really angry. In his mind, he simply had the right to do what he wanted, and she was overreacting....

So many people just don't seem to understand that bw are real live human beings with thoughts and feelings of our own. It just seems that many people have created a whole industry on our backs, while trying to convince us this is what we want. From TV shows that feature the oldest and most unattractive bw they can find all the way to commercials where bw are shown clucking like chickens and rolling their necks -lord have mercy! (that's one of the most hated images for me) I remember talking with a bm in college a few years back. We were all discussing sociological influences of different types of music. When I was asked by him what type of music I liked. I answered honestly that I loved country music, and that Alan Jackson, Tim Mcgraw, and Trace Atkins were my favs. He immediately became enraged, and began to furiously tell me that it was not possible for me to like that type of music since "Black people don't like country music!" I held my ground and told him that I could like any type of music I damn well pleased, and that I did not give a damn what "other bp liked!" The only other bm in the class joined in, and they tried to intimidate me into "liking C-rap-" music. When I saw that they had no intentions of listening to me, I began to ignore them. They immediately turned to a girl wearing a rock shirt and asked her. She said that Kiss was her absolute favorite, and that she had a crush on the lead singer. All hell broke loose, and our teacher had to have them removed from the class. It was almost as if we were not "ALLOWED" to have minds, and opinions of our own.

I see this being done to bw on a constant basis. When that committee went on the radio, they did not convene to decide if BM had the right to date out. Or if WW had the right to date out, or even WM. They were ONLY concerned about BW dating out, and IF we had the right to do so. They threw the issue back and forth as if they were the owners of bw. Their speech was filled with worn out platitudes, and tired stereotypes, and in the end they (of course) decided that bw should stay in our place, and not try to escape anywhere....

I have a friend who loves to surf. She goes all over to find the best waves, and she's really good at her craft. Wm are always pleasantly surprised to see her riding the waves, and this is where she met the love of her life. However, she has had to stop telling bm about her love of the sport because they often want to argue her down about how: "bw don't surf!" The truth of the matter is that no matter what occupation you mention, there is a bw there, doing exactly what she wants to do, and we should all follow these leads.....

We are not all born of the same cloth, nor are we a homogenized unit. We are individuals -much like everyone else. It's beyond irritating to hear people trying to tell us what we're about and what we're "allowed " to like, and be like. A reader wrote me and told me that she and her family were leaving Great Adventures when a group of bp approached her and asked her who was the Chinese man she was with. She immediately replied: "Why, he's my husband, and these are my 3 children" "Then you're a sell out! One bm sneered at her. "Because bw ain't allowed to be with no Chinese!" Not wanting to raise their ire, she simply got in the car, and left, but she said the comment about not being "ALLOWED" burned her. But this is common. The community, the church, and even Hollywood is so used to manipulating bw, that they have lost the inherent ability to see her as a separate entity.........

But ladies, make no mistake about it, you do not need anyone's permission to do, be, or have anything you want in this life. The only one you owe your allegiance and loyalties to-is you...

I guess the real question here is why? Why are these people trying to control and manipulate bw? What's in it for them.

The truth of the matter is that bw are the glue that bonds several industries. Without bw the blk church would collapse in record time. Hollywood would have to find a new low-class scape goat. Hollywood would have to find a new sexually deviant scapegoat. They would also need a new non-sexual un-appealing, colorful, -willing to throw her mammyfied self to the wolves-for the ww-best friend scapegoat. Bm would go crazy because their sisters, mothers, ex, and current gfs, daughters and cousins would stop running to save them from their constant messes. They would have to bail themselves out. They would have to pay their own tickets. They would have to protest their own problems with the police, and get ww to give them emergency money. They would have to do their own laundry, and cook for themselves. There would be no women there to boost their tired, overinflated egos by fighting over them. They would actually have to drive their own raggedy cars, and buy their own sagging pants. And there is no way they could stand on the corners all days inhaling those 40s because they'd have to pay their own rent, so this would necessitate them actually working! (heaven forbid!) They'd have to pay their OWN child support!, and pick up their own checks!

No, there is no way bm intend to give bw up. We are far to valuable as a commodity. And this is why they will try to convince bw that she is not attracted to other races, or that other races don't want her. This is why CR told that lie, because he and most other bm want desperately for it to be true-but it's not. The truth is ... Wm are some of the hottest, sexiest men on this earth, and for the life of me I cannot figure out why every bw does not snatch one up-but don't tell them I said so, because as a bw, I'm not allowed to think that........

Ladies, make sure your GREEN LIGHT IS ON!

2010-06-30T11:41:00.005-05:00

So many times I hear bw saying they don't think wm are really interested in bw. However if you watch these same women in their day to day interactions with wm, you will see them tense up, appear uncomfortable, ill at ease, and noncommunicable (many times) when they engage in conversations with wm. Let me ask you ladies a question. If a man claimed he was open to dating you, yet seemed uncomfortable, ill at ease, and even looked around( as if scared of who might be watching!) would you continue to see him, or even continue the conversation? I know I would not. I have definitely dropped wm in the past I definitely could have been interested in, because I felt they were too concerned with what other people would think. He has to be resolute in his feelings for me to feel comfortable.

Like John Wayne, he needs to have a devil may care, I'm going to be with the woman I want! type-attitude. '

Unfortunately many of you ladies are suffering from the old "But what will bm think syndrome! Get over it!! Do they EVER bother to care what any of you think? To me it's just so silly to waste time worrying about ppl you don't even know. That's insane. Those ppl have never cared what you thought, and they never will.

Many of you have no idea why wm are not approaching you, but at the same time, when he tries to engage in light conversation, many of you are giggling like silly school girls, and then running away, or snapping back an answer. I watched in the market one day, as a wm followed a bw who was scolding her small child. He finally worked up the courage to approach, and make a light remark along the lines of

" Well, don't worry- one day we'll be getting on their nerves" I could tell he was trying to make a joke to lighten the mood, but the irate mother immediately turned, and snapped.

" Excuse me, but could you mind your own business! "

The man turned red with embarrassment, and slid away. This is so common, it's almost a daily occurrence with many bw. I don't think many of them even realize they're doing it. The truth of the matter is that many of you have a bright red light on (a STOP LIGHT) blaring, and then you're wondering why no one is trying to come into your intersection. Many men are very intimidated to approach bw, not because we are the mean witches the media portrays us as but because so many bw have made self annihilating remarks such as: Nuthin but a brotha! I need a strong bm! He's too pale for me! etc etc.

I don't believe for a minute too many bw actually feel this way. I strongly suspect they've tried to ameliorate bm's flagging egos with these remarks, but they've backfired, and many bw are alone,or seen as unapproachable because of them.

Read this quote from one discouraged white man.....

I think the bottom line is that men of all colors fear rejection. Black women are the least likely of any group in this country to date outside of their race. This is something that has been proven through various studies. If you cruise through a personals site, you will see black women more often than any other race cite that they are looking for black men. I remember watching an episode of Oprah several years ago where there were several single black women sitting around talking about dating interracially where half said they would, half wouldn't and then of the half that would, a few said something along the lines of "but when I marry, I want a strong black man" as the other women nodded along. You don't really see or hear that with Latinas, Asians and white women (although some may think it admittedly). As such, many non-black men feel that they will get shot down if approaching a black women so they don't even bother to try. It's not something that is exclusive to race. It's similar to how many men would not bother approaching or asking out an Angelina Jolie clone if they were to see her in a bar, regardless of whether or not after a conversation they got along well with her, simply because they would view her as out of their league and a near certain rejection that they'd rather not hear. I remember one instance where I was in a bar and talking to a black woman, and when I more or less asked her out, she looked at me like I was crazy and then didn't even say anything but just started cackling. When she composed herself enough, she managed to say "you're a little too pale for me if you know what I'm saying." This woman was not representative of the black race and should be judged on an individual basis. She was just a beeyotch plain and simple, regardless of her race. I could have been rejected in the same manner by a Latina, Asian or a white woman, but in terms of statistics, more black women refuse to date outside of their race than those other groups, so this sort of reaction is the sort of thing that I think a lot of white men fear and makes them second-guess themselves when it comes to approaching black women. I think white men will approach an Asian or Latina woman without a second thought of "does she date white guys?", whereas the same doesn't hold true a lot of times for black women. I'm not sure if I explained that correctly but it makes sense in my head.....

When I read his comment, it reminds me of the Sherl Underwood incident. When she was on a panel, and showing off for the numerous bm there. A wm said to her, "Now if you and I were to go out-" (he was putting out a feeler to see if she was interested) She immediately snapped: "You and I ain't goin nowhere!!!" All the bm on the show began to clap and stomp gleefully, while cheering this fool on. Then after the show, they hugged up with their ww, and headed happily home!

She went home alone.......

BW, beauty really does fade, but dumb really is forever! ( a quote from one of my fav. judges) Don't be stuck on stupid. Only a fool pays homage to ppl who would spit on them. Bm are trying to get as far from anything black as they possibly can. You all can see this. So don't ever close the door on good men, to uphold the egos of men who don't give a damn about you.... WAKE UP!

When you see a nice guy smiling at you, or trying to make conversation-think green

. Open body language

. Turn TOWARD him

. Give a hint of a smile, but don't overdo

. Definitely look him in the eye even if it's brief

. Ask open questions that require more than yes or no

. Leave little doubt that you are interested, but never appear needy.

Ladies, I think you all know exactly what to do, now do it and stop complaining that wm don't want you. They def. do, but you have to let them know that you are interested-so put that green light on.....

The bw's guide to finding a better man......

2010-05-10T18:45:00.010-05:00

This is a couple from the discov. channel. This lady married this millionaire and had a million dollar wedding-and as you can see, she's cute but no Gabby U......

This is my personal theory, but I believe the reason most bw end up with bottom of the barrel men, is because that's where they hang out.....

In the bottom of the barrel! Now don't get me wrong. I assure you all, I am not a gold digger. But I do believe in working toward betterment in all things, and that certainly includes men. The man you look for should definitely bring more to the relationship than a heartbeat and a ready penis! Bw have got to raise their standards. Stop settling for men who have nothing to show for themselves and have no paths for their lives except to latch on to you, and ride your coattails.

I'm aware I'll be accused of being a gold digger for this post, but I'm not one to let personal opinions stymie me from speaking my mind. I simply believe every woman should be looking, finding, and marrying the best man she can find. And that includes the most financially stable man she can find. It's truly just as easy to fall in love and marry a well off/rich man as it is to love a poor and struggling man. And the poor man is much less likely to marry you anyway, unless you have significant assets yourself!

So how does a woman go about meeting the really good men, and avoid the ones who would only drag her down? This is pretty much common sense, but the easiest way to meet the well off, is to live or work among them. So many women live in poor areas, work in poor areas, and socialize in poor areas, and then wonder why all they meet is poor men! You MUST be around people in order to meet, get to know them, and eventually marry them! It just doesn't work any other way. Next (And some of you will deeply resent this) You MUST get in shape! Very few well off/rich men are looking for fat, out of shape, slovenly, and unkempt women! I'm really sorry if

I'm offending anyone, but truth crushed to earth, has a way of rising again and again. You can all see that very few slovenly, out of shape, or obese women are on the arms of the most desirably men...

Another super plus for women who want the top quarry is: Education

Lower quality men are often condescending of Educated women, but higher quality/better off/intellectual men are usually intrigued, and captivated by a women who can stimulate his intellect as well as his loins. You see intellectual men desire intellectual conversations, and you are unlikely to be able to give this to him if you greatest claim to fame is that you've made it past the 10th grade. Even if you are intimidated by wealth, and only want a man with a good job, and a decent credit rating, you must always elevate, and improve yourself.

Here are some other things you need to consider to raise your stock (Yes, you do have stock)

a. Learning another language. This is always a plus. It raises your self esteem, raises your intellect, acts as a social, and prestige magnet, and is extremely useful and functional.

b. Travel. There is something about a travelled person, that although you cannot put your finger on it, they often have an easy air of sophistication that precedes them. And they always seem more confident and magnetic because of it. I've rarely travelled outside the US, but I've traveled extensively inside the US, and even with that, people often tell me I have an air of someone special about me. Imagine how much stronger yours could be with some European travel!

c. Keep learning. You should always be improving, and learning something. Knowledge is too precious to let it pass us by unnoticed, And the weird thing is, as you learn something you are interested in, you will find more and more chances to use the knowledge that you study in your private hours. I study and read 2-4 R E books per month, and I cannot tell you how much that private study helps me in my dealings. Find something that interest you, and study it until you find others coming to you whenever the subject comes up, then you'll know you're on the right track, and see if this knowledge does not offer tremendous advantages to you in your everyday life. There is a saying. What is practiced in private, is rewarded in public. See if this does not come true for you....

d. Read, read read. The biggest mistake most bp make in their lives is refusing to open books!!!

I have no idea why many people do not read because it's one of the greatest ways to open your mind and expand your life. Many people complain about the price of books but think about it for a moment. Someone takes years of experience and puts it in a book for usually less than 25.00! I think that's a fantastic bargain. And you can always buy used books on Ebay or from used books stores. I think it's ridiculous for anyone to claim books are expensive and then spend hundreds of dollars per month on alcohol, cigarettes, and junk food!

Some other things you can do is to remove or eliminate your bad habits. The best way to remove bad habits is to trade them for better habits. This is known to be far more effective than simply trying to eliminate a habit without a replacement. Exp. walk instead of smoke, read instead of overeating etc.. Please remember, if you want to meet top quarry, you must go where these men congregate. Attend high end shows, plays, sports etc.. Visit nicer upscale neighborhoods as often as you can if you cannot afford to live there yet. Absorb the atmosphere, and let it soak into your psyche. The more you spend time in these places, the more you will belong......

There really is no reason for any women to have to settle for some of the pitiful specimen of men, so many of you lovely ladies have been settling for. You can have any type of life you want, but you must be willing to work for it.......Good luck ladies, and you can always write me for add'l information. My email is at the top of the page......

Believe what he does, not what he says....

2010-04-25T20:49:00.006-05:00

J. Hudson begging her man (through song) not to leave.....

So sorry ladies, I realize it's been a long time. I've missed you all terribly, but I've been working super hard on this R E project, as well as being a full time mom. And I was simply too tired to write after 12-14 hour days..... But I do apologize and the worst of this project is over -thank God.....

Moving on......

I saw dream girls for the 10th time last week. As I watched it, it reminded me alot of what goes on in the BC. I watched Jamie Foxx's character hide his attraction to Beyonce, and only reveal his true intentions when he no longer needed J. Hudson's character. He knew all along he did not want her, yet he allowed her to believe that he was her man, and that they were on this great path together. The minute he no longer needed her, he carefully maneuvered her out of the picture, and took up with the one he really wanted. And no amount of her crying, singing (great), or begging would change his mind. She was totally blindsided because she believed his lies and distortions, instead of opening up her eyes and facing what was happening right under her nose.

This is exactly what happens in the BC. I see bw everyday who refuse to see what's right in front of their eyes. For instance. I know someone who began to see someone on her job. He immediately moved into her home, allowed her to foot all the bills, and refused to have anything to do with her children. Yet, she was shocked when he got a raise, and took all the money he had saved and married a white woman from the same company! Now it seemed blatantly clear to me what his intentions were all the time. I just could not understand why she was silly enough to think this man cared about her. We could all see that this was surely not the case, but she had such a case of Pollyanna reasoning, she was unable to see what should have been evident to all. This is clearly a case of unconscious-consciousness. Where a person does not know what they don't know, only because they have not taken the time to really see it.

This reminds me of the young cousin I have, whom I've mentioned to you all before. She is now on baby number 3 by a third man who has no intentions of being any kind of father to the child (nor will the other two). Yet, she cannot see how ridiculous her actions are, and still thinks these men are worth pursuing. I keep wondering how anyone could be so silly. Her life is a wreck! And this is something many bw do to themselves because they refuse to see what's before them and engage in an illusion instead of reality.

Think back to dream girls, remember J. H. begging him through song to "stay with her" remember how he looked at her with pity, and then ran for the exit. He knew he had gotten everything he needed from her, and had no intentions of staying with her. Yet, she had not allowed herself to see him as he really was. Instead she had only seen what she wanted to see, and it was to her own detriment. It's always to a woman's detriment not to face what's really happening, and to lull herself into a false sense of complacency.

Picture a wife who's husband is spending an inordinate amount of money on partying. The bills are not being paid on time, and their credit is suffering, and she's worried. But she's been raised to believe that a good wife does not question her husband. As a result, she worries quietly, and has many restless nights because she knows all is not well, although he claims he's paying the bills. But she knows he's not because he's spending it all on parties, nights out, and having a good time. Her heart slams against her chest one day as she opens the door to someone handing her foreclosure papers............

The truth is no woman can afford to play ostrich. We cannot afford to keep our heads in the sand. It's extremely important for women to face whatever is happening in their lives, and not
play the fool. The truth of the matter is that today it's more important than ever to "know what's going on with the man in your life. Never has it been as important as it is right now. I cannot stress enough how imperative it is to see him as he is, and not as you want him to be.
Today so many bw cannot see that bm are using them in various ways, monetarily, sexually, physically, and even emotionally, and then running to other women the moment he feels he has everything he wants. Even then most bm will still string this woman along if she's obtuse enough to keep believing him. They may never know when they may need her, so if at all possible they will put her in the closet for a rainy day, while they go off with 'other women'.

Ladies, don't believe what a man says. He can tell you anything. Believe what he DOES. Whenever a man's words and actions are in conflict, believe his actions. They represent how he REALLY feels. For instance. If he tells you he's not married but has to be home by a certain time every night, whispers into the phone, and never shows you his house. It's probably because he's married! If he tells you that you're the only woman he wants yet, other women constantly call him, and he's drowning in female 'friends' then he's lying. You are not the only woman in his life. in fact, he's probably juggling you with many others. I once watched a talk show where a ww talked about how she had been married for 12 years (to a handsome wm) and never knew her husband secretly wanted a black wife. He had spoken ill of bw for years and never shown any interest in bw except her best friend whom he loved to poke at, and tease. Her friend mentioned to her that she felt uncomfortable around him. The woman felt that this was due to his dislike of bw, and laughed it off. But finally he admitted to her that he was extremely attracted to bw, and had hoped that by making snide remarks, it would alter his attraction. It had'nt, and he finally felt the need to come clean. In fact he only admitted his real feeling after he tried repeatedly, to get her to implant her lips, butt, hips, and blow dry her hair wild. She ended up getting a botched surgery trying to have butt implants, and suffered nerve damage. She now suffers severe pain at the slightest noise, and her husband left her for a black woman anyway. She cried over and over as she lamented that if she'd only let him go from the start, at least she would not be in constant pain now, and would have been able to go on with her life, without constant pain, and would have found another man....

So many bw live their lives in the very same type of delusion, and it's extremely dangerous. It's always better to face the truth than to live in the dark. The truths are so simple.

bw need to wake up and open up ALL of their dating options.

Bw need to stop believing that men of the same skin color are their brothers!

Bw need to know that they have a much better chance of finding love OUTSIDE their ethnic circles.

Bw need to realize that most bm are looking for every, and anything not blk, and MOVE ON!

It really worries me when I see bw who refuse to wake up and smell the coffee. Fortunately more and more women are waking up. More and more are tired of being baby-mommas and never wives. Being used and abused and maltreated. One of my sister bloggers was saying that some women will have to be left behind if they refuse to adapt for their own survival, and unfortunately, I think she is right. But hopefully you ladies can see the truth, and will allow it to set you free..........

When funny becomes derisive, and inappropriate......

2010-03-11T16:40:00.012-06:00

Hi ladies. Sorry it's been so long. I'm consulting on a big RE project and I've hardly even had time for my family..... so lets not waste any time now.....

I think a lot of bw are so busy looking at the small frames, they fail to see the big picture. What I mean by that remark is that so many people never bother to look down the road and make a calculated guess as to how their present actions will affect their future. This is something I have never understood, but this seems to be a common trait in the bc. For instance, think about all the movies you see with bp acting like common fools. A few off the top of my head are:

booty call
I got the hook up
house of pain
how high
have baked etc.

I notice other cultures seem to have an vested interest in their present, future, and the future of their offspring, and the offspring of their race that seems to be decidedly lacking in American blacks. I'm not sure how this came to be or why, but it's completely obvious to anyone who cares to investigate it. I remember reading a book a few years ago, in which a white Author was addressing a bm (who had asked, why bp were not getting the respect they deserved)

The author told him plainly and succinctly: "You've always entertained us whites with your comedic ways, and clowning. The problem is -no one respects a clown"
I remember feeling struck by his words, and a bit stung. But I knew they were true. Too many, far far too many bp shuck and jive and giggle at the most inappropriate things, all the while wondering why the world does NOT take them seriously. My question is, if you've set yourself up as the world clown, how do you ever expect to be taken seriously? Can you see Obama becoming President as a shucking, jiving, giggling fool? Do you think Oprah would have ever become a talk show queen if she was a large, giggling, silly, cackling jester?
I remember being in Arizona visiting one of my very successful book Author, cousin. We were downtown, and there was a military parade going on. At the end of the parade a black limo stopped and General Powell stepped out (he was a general then)He was surrounded by soldiers-who immediately jumped to attention. But, he made such a commanding presence, that even the civilians (of all races) jumped from their cars and immediately saluted him. My cousin who's is a pretty well-known author and rarely impressed by anyone, was practically in tears he was so honored to be in his presence. Some people actually were in tears! It was an experience I have never forgotten. The very air around him seem charged with the energy of a leader, and commander.....

Certainly few of us have his aura, and charisma. But all of us can be taken more seriously, and command ordinary respect by the way we carry ourselves and interact on a daily basis. Now, I have nothing against humor at all, I think it's a wonderful life ingredient that ameliorates the pleasures in life. But for some people it becomes a tool for a slovenly life, filled with stagnated nothingness, and covered up with dangerous laughter. Or, sometimes it's used as a weapon of veiled hatred and pain to be welded at hapless, and unarmed victims....

What I mean by that is,I've seen humor used in a harmless fashion to lighten a heavy load, yet, I've also seen it used many times to bring people to their knees and treat them in ways that defy decency.
(think about how you felt as a bw, to hear D L. Hugley laugh about what Imus said)

Also, I think it's just plain dangerous to laugh at some things. It normalizes and lessons the impact of the damage they cause. For exp. I remember hearing comedian Sherl Underwood joking about R. Kelly molesting little girls. She went on to joke that every time he molested a child he had a hit record, so he needed to hit someone else because he needed another "hit" The audience howled with laughter, but to me it just felt wrong to laugh at something like that. I just don't see it as a joke. I know bp often joke about things to relieve the ponderous weight of some issues, but how come Jews never laugh at the holocaust? How come Indians don't laugh about the pain of reservation life? How come the Irish don't laugh about their civil war that's gone on in their country for years? Could it be perhaps, because these things are held sacrosanct and above the silly jokes, that some would make of them?

Today, we see many comedians and ordinary men laughing at the plight of bw. I believe it's because when the jokes first became inappropriate, no one said anything, and now they've grown out of proportion, but the world is so used to laughing at us, it's no longer a big deal. Many bw today are suffering horribly and yet many people are still laughing and treating it as a joke. I actually heard bm on a website I won't mention, laughing about the murder of the bw/wm couple last year! It' almost like nothing is off limits anymore. It's like watching an entire race of women swimming in a river of pain, as the people laugh on...
Just my opinion, but I think the joke is really on us-and it's not funny.....

BW-you will NEVER get permission to leave-so just leave!!!

2010-02-05T19:18:00.003-06:00

I feel so sorry for many young bw. So many of you are waiting for the bc to give you permission to look for the love you deserve from men who would love to love you.

I don't understand why so many bw don't seem to notice that while many bm will move heaven and earth to stop you from having relationships with wm (regardless of character)-those very same bm are busy chasing any white girl they can get their hands on.

Do bw really think it's a coincidence that every time you turn on a tv, there's a bm smiling happily beside a wg? Now don't get me wrong. I am NOT suggesting you go get a wm to get even with bm, I am suggesting you go for the men WHO WANT YOU! It's just so silly to go for men who do not have the capacity to see how special you are. How does that benefit you? It really doesn't. You young bw MUST learn to look out for #1. And that's you. I see young bw everyday who have a GLs, and GM- garbage lives and garbage men, because they did not KNOW what they wanted. If you do not know what you want in life-how in the world do you ever expect to get it?

It all starts with Goals. What do you want in life? What kind of home do you want?

Do you want children? A career? A business? I cannot stress enough how important it is to know what you want. But it's also extremely imperative that you know what you DO NOT want!

I have a young cousin I've mentioned before, who is now barely 21, and pregnant with baby number 3 by a third bm who has refused to take care of his child (Nor will the other 2) She lives with her mother, and works a dead end job downtown. Her children have almost no creature comforts and she would not have even had baby clothes, had we not bought them for her. Yet, she still cannot get it through her simple head that she needs to change her ways, and leave these sorry men alone. She constantly chases one bm after another. They use her and go on about their business. I never know whether to feel sorry for her, or just write her off. She just makes such ridiculous choices, that I cannot fathom why anyone would behave so stupidly.

The truth is that bw have got to wake up and smell the coffee. So many of you are still engaged in make believe nonsense-that you cannot discern reality anymore! For your own sake-LISTEN to what these men are saying-for God's sake! If a man is primarily concerned with getting you into bed, then that is where his intentions toward you lie. If he has children that he does not take care of, then any children you are stupid enough to have by him, will also go without care! If he has ex-girl friends who are terrified of him, or have been beaten and abused by him, who do you think his next victim will be? Stop being stuck on stupid-open up your eyes, and run from men who are clearly out to use and abuse you! I don't understand how so many women will run from wm because the bc will tell that wm only use bw, and will never marry them. Look up the stats of bm marrying bw these days and you'll be shocked. Over 80% of black children are now being born out of wedlock!!!! Does it look like bm are marrying their baby-mothers to you?

We are at a crisis point, and we need to stop lying to young women. And you young ladies need to stop listening to the garbage the bc would have you digest, and trust your own eyes. Here are some of the most prominent lies being told to young bw.

1. There are plenty of good bm, you just need to look harder!

This is bull. There are almost 2 million more bw in this country than bm! Even if bm were not color struck, were upstanding citizens, and were interested in marrying the numerous bw, they impregnate every year. There still would NOT be enough of these men to marry the many many bw looking for husbands.

2. If bw would just act right bm would not leave them for ww!

The truth is that YOU ARE ENOUGH! And if you are not enough for a man then you are simply NOT what that man is looking for! It's ridiculous to turn yourself inside out trying to be what you cannot be. You can only be you, but that's always good enough....

3. If bw didn't have such attitudes, they wouldn't be alone.

No, if bw would simply stop chasing men who don't want them, and ALLOWED themselves to be caught by men who DO want them, they would not be alone!

4. Black women are not attracted to white men!

That's a lie! There are many, many bw who are very attracted to wm, yet they are secretly waiting for the bc to give them permission to be with one. This is NEVER going to happen! I DON'T THINK MOST BM WANT BW, BUT THEY SURE AS HELL DON'T WANT WM TO HAVE THEM!!!

The lies go on and on, I'm sure you can think of many more, but the bottom line is that bw must wake up and move on! You don't owe anyone your loyalty except yourself! You have nothing to prove to the bc, and you must live your own life, and do what 's best for yourself......

But to elaborate on one last point. remember in the 'something new' movie. She was self-conscious and uncomfortable upon finding out that her date was white. She began to move through the crowd, giving compliments to strangers, and trying to mitigate the wrath she obviously felt was coming her way. He sensed her discomfort and grew uneasy. He knew she was worrying about how the bp around them would react. This is a classic example of a bw who is trying to look for approval from the bc before she pursues a relationship that would definitely be in her best interest.

No bw is going to get this permission! BW are too needed in the bc. They will NEVER voluntarily let us go. The trick is to make it clear that you are working in YOUR OWN best interest, and no one's elses. You deserve the best in life, and don't ever let anyone tell you different. There are plenty of men who would love to be with you, but you must lift your heads up into the light to see them......

Black women and the jealousy component-LET IT GO!

2010-01-12T19:23:00.004-06:00

Hi everyone. I'm away from home, and cannot upload pics from this computer. But as soon as I go home, I will upload some.....

I think it's safe to say, that SOME black women have a problem with jealousy. Especially as it relates to white women, or ANY women they think may be held in high esteem by coveted males. I see women everyday (of all races-but of course I'm concerned about the AA ones) who demonstrate the jealousy component in very blatant, sad, and obvious ways.
The truth of the matter is that women who demonstrate blatant jealousy do themselves a grave disservice. Some examples of this are, passing attractive women and rolling the eyes. Glaring at women who are well groomed or dressed up, laughing and making snide (malicious) remarks at women who are noticed or openly admired by males. These, and other obvious, and pathetic attempts
to debase attractive, or coveted women can, and often will make these women seem much lower, and less appealing in the eyes of the very men, they hope to attract.

I really don't think many women realize how unattractive these traits are. I often feel sorry for women when I see them demonstrating these self-abnegating traits, because I know they are truly only hurting themselves. Case in point-let me give an example....

Years ago, when I was a very young wife, (in my first marriage) we lived in a fairly new apartment complex on the cusp of the main highway. My husband and I both had a car, but mine was old and often in the shop. I was still in college and obviously having some trouble getting around whenever my car was not working. One day as I was standing by the mail box waiting for another cab, One of the black men who lived in the complex approached me, and said.
"Hey pretty one, if you're going to town, I can give you a lift" I smiled, but said no thank you. I turned to check my mail box before the cab came, and noticed an older black woman nearby glaring at me. I had no idea why-since I didn't know her. But I had no time to think about it. The cab came and I left. Later on that night, there was a knock at the door. My then -husband (at the time) answered. A moment later he called me to the door. A much older black woman was there with the other woman I had seen at the mailbox earlier. The moment she saw me, she began to go into a tirade. "I heard you was tryin t'mess wit my man!" She began to yell. I just stared at her because the guy who had offered me a ride was barely twenty! (like me) I knew she was late thirties-early forties!

"I wasn't messing with anyone! " I told her angrily.
"He asked me if I wanted a ride, and I said no!" Out of the corner of my eye, I could feel my husband glaring angrily at me. "You was smilin, and flirtin!" Her friend cut in. "Like a young slut with no home trainin!""Yeah," the woman agreed. "What kinda hoe gits married, and still be flirtin wit other people's men!"
Now I was furious, because I knew I had not done anything wrong. She was just insecure because she was dating a guy way too young for her, and taking it out on me.
"Get the hell out of my house!" I told her, before slamming the door in her face. But it didn't end there. Not only did my then-husband accuse me for weeks of flirting with this stranger-but this woman took it upon herself to make my life a living hell. She spread rumors about me all over the complex. She followed me in her car. She told my two year old baby, that her mom was a whore who was trying to 'steal her man!' And she told several people that she was going to slice my face.
Her man, who probably had absolutely no interest in me in the first place, and who was probably just being nice, now began to notice me. Whenever I went anywhere in the complex, he suddenly began to show up, and smile and try to compliment me. I ignored him, but he didn't back off. His girl friend's irrational behavior had CONVINCED him, I was something special, and now he set out to win me away from my husband. I finally ended up having to get a R.O. from them both. The point is, this man was NOT interested in me! SHE made me seem so irresistible with her ridiculous behavior! She is the one who fueled his interest-and no one else! I see this play out all the time.
Ladies, the more you display jealousy and spite toward other women, the higher on the totem pole you make that woman seem! Let me show you a better way to handle jealousy....

One night, when I was dating hubby number 2, we went to a night time concert in the park. It was a really beautiful and balmy night, and we were both enjoying it. As soon as he came back from getting me a drink, a scantily clad woman pretended to trip and fall into his arms. Her breasts were practically hanging out of her shirt. He helped her up, and shot an embarrassed glance at me. I moved over, and feigned concern. "Are you ok hon?" I asked sweetly. She nodded, still trying to catch his eye. "Oh good," I murmured, brightly. "For a moment there, I thought you were drunk" Her eyes widened. She didn't like being thought of as drunk, although she didn't seem to mind every man in the yard seeing her breasts. With that, I took the arm my date was offering me and we walked away. I never said another word about her. I knew he expected me to bad mouth her, and I knew that was a mistake many women make. I simply enjoyed the evening, and pretended she didn't even exist. After shooting me a few questioning glances, he forgot about her, and she became a NON-ISSUE. Ladies the way to make other women non-issues is to NOT go ON and ON, and ON about them! The more attention you give them, the more your dates/mates will too. It's very important for every woman to realize that she is enough! That there is something special and beautiful about you, and that it's extremely hard for him to ever see it if you are screeching and screaming about another woman.

This brings me to the Tiger Woods incident. Many bw are delighted that TW and his wife Elin are separated, and that she is contemplating divorce. Many bw are angry because they know Tiger would never look at a bw. So what!!! There are millions of men who would be delighted to be with any woman who is attractive, intelligent, and confident -regardless of her race. Why concern yourself with a color-struck man with self esteem issues, who obviously hates his blackness? Does it look like he's been a good husband to this woman? And notice,despite the fact that she's supposed to be so perfect, he still cheated on her with (allegedly) more than 14 women!
I actually feel sorry for her, it must really be horrifying to have your husband cheating on you with everything that moves, after the world thought you were living a fairy tale. But the point is, I think many bw were jealous of her because she's the type of woman the media loves to put on the pedestal. Even now, he's being vilified, almost at a criminal level in the media for what, in my estimation, is a private matter between him, and his wife. Stop reveling in the pain of others and concentrate on your OWN lives. It's almost impossible to bring betterment to your life as a bw, when you insist on trying to malign, and slander other women based on race, attractiveness, personality etc. If you are feeling depressed or angry at other women, it usually signifies YOU not being happy with YOU. So fix it. Get in shape, go back to school, work on you. Do whatever you need to do for feel better about you. It's almost always the people who are the most malicious and inexorably- mean spirited, who are the most unhappy with themselves. And the saddest part is that most people know (sense) exactly why they are doing it.....

I actually have someone in my family, whom I truly love, but most of the time I don't really like her (if that makes any sense) She's always bad mouthing everyone, and she's an expert at 'cracking' on people. (think a def jam comic) She cracks on strangers, family members-basically anyone in her presence, and it's often exhausting being around her for any length of time. Many times I have seen her bring people to tears, and I've thought to myself. 'your self hatred is showing-you're only so evil to people because you're over 350 pounds, and you know you look a mess!!!' She's actually a funny person, but I noticed her humor is ALWAYS at some unfortunate person's expense. She constantly laughs at people and gets other people to laugh at that person (whoever the victim is a that moment) Many people have tried to tell her gently that she goes too far, but to no avail. I suppose she'll get the memo when someone beats the hell out of her one day, but until then, she goes on.....
So my point is, as far as the jealousy Component. Let it go. You'll only make yourself look stupid and desperate trying to put down other females for whatever reason. Do what you need to do, to feel better about yourself and live and let live. For another example of this. Check out you-tube and see Vanessa Williams singing 'colors of the wind' She looks absolutely gorgeous -as usual-and sounds great. But when you read the comments, all you hear are ww saying that she can't sing, and that the other version is better (It's def. not!) and that she thinks she's cute. Now anyone with eyes can see, she's way beyond cute, and they just looked angry, desperate, and jealous! This is how bw look when they defame, malign, and slander 'other ' women because of some 'seeming advantage' these women may have...Jealousy does not make 'her' look bad-it makes 'YOU' look bad.....

How to get a brand new start in the new year!

2009-12-30T20:22:00.012-06:00

Hi everyone. I'm so sorry about the long hiatus. First we went on a business trip/family trip
and then upon coming back, we find out that my God-mother is very ill and not expected to
last through January. Although she is in her 80s, it is still a shock to see someone you love
go down so rapidly. I've been spending as much time with her as I could as I will obviously,
never be able to have this time with her again. Thank you all for your support and understanding during this time.........

Lets move on.... I think most of us want to make a fresh start in 2010. I know many of you are looking forward to that more than anything. In order to make 2010 a different kind of year you MUST set goals. Decide what you want in life, and make a plan to get it.

It sounds too simplistic, but it is the basis for all achievement. I wanted to give you ladies some advice that would really make a difference in your new year, so here goes. These are the things that most people want to change.

lose some weight.
Many of us want to drop a few pounds, and the easiest way to do it without alot of stress and strain, is to simply start to walk everyday.
Even if it's too cold to walk outside and you don't have a treadmill, then simply walk to your favorite shows, back and forth in front of the tv.
If you want to drop weight super-fast, then walk to your shows for I hour per day, and add lots of fruit/vegetables to your daily meals.
Don't worry about diets, just add lots of fruits and veggies to your meals. (especially fruit-because the only fruit that does not bring on weight loss
is banana. They are still very good for you but they don't cause weight loss like apples, oranges berries (all) pineapples, watermelon, -well pretty much all the rest do.
Citrus fruit is especially weight -reducing. The reason is that your body has to work so hard to break down the fruit for consumption, you end up with negative calories, and lose weight....

Learn something new!

Many people want to finish a degree or pursue some self-study. This is an
excellent idea because we should always keep learning.
And speaking of learning. Did you know that the more you learn the easier it is to learn more? The brain is like a muscle, the more you use it the more connections and neurons it creates. This facilitates learning, and in essence, you become smarter.
So even if you are finished with college and don't feel that you need any further schooling, always undertake self-study or pursue some type of learning.
One of the greatest area's of study for black women is to learn to speak a new language. Nothing seems to elevate one's sex appeal, and image like being able to converse in a new language.....

Change your habits-change your life

Some of us are stuck in a rut due to the bad habits we have engaged in time and again. The best way to get out of a rut, is to start with a list of 6-10 things you want to change. Take 2 of those things and put them up on your wall for the month. Every day work on those things you want to change. A new habit usually takes about 1 month (28 days). So in order to bring a new desired habit, all you have to do keep doing it! When it becomes entrenched, then move on to the next
habit you want to change, and repeat the process. The process for getting rid of bad habits, is to do the opposite. Simply refrain from doing those things until you no longer desire them. Think of habits like a path through a forest. When the path is seldom walked, it is difficult to discern, and unclear. But when it is heavily walked, it becomes more and more visible and grooved. Your
mind is the same way. Any habit that is done consistently will become more deeply entrenched and likely to produce after itself....

Get into a better crowd!

Drop whatever in your life that is NOT in your best interest. This includes people! Did you know that 95% of people make within 3-5000.00 of what their 3 best friends make? You see people rub off on each other. This is why wealthy people donot like to hang out with broke people. They are aware that the energy WILL rub off, and they are aware of how detrimental it can be to their finances. Whatever you are trying to be in life, get around those types of people. When a friend of mine was complaining about her daughter skipping school and getting into trouble, one of the teacher's recommended that she get her away from the people she hung with (delinquents) before it was too late. My friend immediately moved her child to a better school where she would not have access to her old crowd. She began to hang with a more studious crowd, and her grades, as well as her behavior, immediately improved. This dynamic will work
wonders in your life as well. If you are hanging with negative, mean spirited, spiteful, and angry people, you will find yourself acting the same way. And your life will be a reflection of this. Try putting yourself around a better crowd and hanging with winners, and you will immediately see how much better your life is turning out to be.....

Finally since for most of us, our finances are the main problem. I wanted to throw some really great info at you ladies. Since I'm a real estate consultant, obviously most of it will deal with real estate.....

How to get a FREE HOUSE in 2010!

Did you know that there is a law on the books called the Adverse Possession law. Now it varies
by state, but the gist of it is that abandoned houses are basically free for the taking. Let me explain.
Say someone named Donna walks home from work everyday. And everyday, she passes a boarded up house. She looks at it longingly because it's twice the size of the house she rents, and she desperately needs more space. As she's telling her friend Jane, about it at lunch the next day, her friend suddenly snaps to attention. "Why don't you check title and ownership? " she asks. "Perhaps the people are deceased, or don't want it. Donna had no idea what you was
talking about but Jane took the lead. The next day, she takes Donna down to the tax assessor's office, and armed with the address to the property-they look up the owner's name. Come to find
out, the owner had been missing for 3 years. No one knew where he was. Taxes had accumulated on his home and the city had boarded it and placed a lien on it. Jane immediately ordered a title report, and carefully went over it with Donna. Upon learning that it only had one lien and back taxes, Donna immediately began to pay the taxes. She ran an ad in the paper for several weeks. It announced that if anyone was interested in the property, they should contact her. (This is called giving constructive notice) afterwards, she had the boards removed, and began to repair the property. Several weeks later, she moved her family in. And even though she had to pay a few thousand for back taxes, and repairs. She was able to stop paying rent, and after the first year, and save a fortune. A few years later, she hired an attorney and was able to
obtain a 'quiet title'.
That's adverse possession in a nutshell. You can order a book on eBay or the 'net' if you feel you
don't have enough detail, but that's really the basis of it. The main thing to remember is to 'live openly'. That's why it's called adverse possession, because you are living 'adverse' to the owner's interests. Don't choose houses with extreme defects, because you'll eat up your savings making
extensive repairs. Easy ways to spot prospects are:

Boarded houses
neglected houses
overgrown lawns
broken windows
sagging porches
lots of notices left on door
high weeds
No electric (check box on side)
'feels vacant'
When you spot these signs, check for vacancy, and then talk to the neighbors. I guarantee you
they will know how long the owner has been gone, and probably, they will know what happened to them.

How to live in a Mansion and make 100.000 in 2010!

I love this plan. I actually didn't think of it. A realtor friend of mine has been using it for awhile.
It goes like this.

Go, and get a real estate license. Now if you go everyday, this will only take 2 weeks. If you go at night or only on Saturday, it will take longer. But you must have it to put this plan in action.
Market your services in the upper crust areas. Advertise in high end magazines, that you are a licensed agent, and that you will house-sit and sell their property for them.
Get them to sign an agreement that you will live in the house, take care of it, and sell it at the end of one year. You move in and run your business from the home. Towards the end of the year, you aggressively market it. 6% on a 2 million dollar home is 120.000. As long as there is
no listing agent, you will be able to keep the entire commission. If there is another agent, you will need to complete 2 transactions per year to make your targeted income.....

Hope this gets you all off to a great start-And Happy New Year!

Is he looking for true love, or a chocolate fantasy? -ways to tell.....

2009-11-11T20:23:00.010-06:00

Vilayna Lasalle, considered to be one of the most beautiful black women in the world........

Does he want YOU, or just a good time??.....

How do you know if a particular wm wants you, or sees you as a stereotypical fetish? Many of you ladies worry about this so much, you are unable to relax, around ordinary men, and often find yourself second guessing everything they do.

The truth is that men are just not smart enough, to obscure their true motives for long. Some aren't smart enough to hide it from the introduction. All the average woman has to do, is to ask questions, and really listen. He will reveal everything you need to know. Use dates -not to get a good meal,-but as interviews. Start slowly, and from the first date, really begin to probe his psyche. Ask about his family, his job, his hobbies, then let the conversation evolve to past relationships, and really listen to how he refers to other women. If he is calling other women b*tches or hoes, I guarantee you, YOU will be the next b*tch or hoe he refers to! Men are like leopards, they don't change their spots. If he has so little respect, that he can use those vile and filthy terms to describe other women, know that he will also utilize them in his descriptions of you. He will also treat you as he has notoriously treated other women in his past. I see women all the time, who make the mistake of thinking that although a man mistreated a woman from his past, he'll be good to them. That's not the way it works. In fact one of the best ways to really find out what kind of man he is, is to talk to his ex. Now if she is vindictive, or shady, skip her, and talk to someone more objective. But do vet him carefully, and never allow him to move the relationship faster than you feel comfortable with. I've seen bw turn down good wm because they believed he had a bw fetish, yet, I've also seen a few wm try to fulfill their stereotypical expectations of bw, by getting her into bed. So yes, it does happen, yet it's pretty rare because most bw have an automatic shield up anyways when it comes to wm. It's often a monumental effort for some wm, because many bw will look for any excuse to kick him to the curb.... The same way many bw will look for innumerable reasons to keep a bm.

The trick is to judge all men by high standards, and not allow anyone to slip through the cracks because of skin color. I always encourage bw to date 3 men at once. What will happen time and again is that one of the 3 will begin to far outpace the other 2. When their trying to take you to see a fight, he'll be the one who asks where you want to go. When they talk over your head, or forget their manners, he'll be the gentleman, who gives you his undivided attention. After you have vetted them, and 2 have fallen short. Dump them, (and if nec.) vet the winner against 2 more just to be sure. But I certainly don't want you ladies to worry about wm using you for sex. Accept the fact that ALL men want sex! But it's up to you -who will get it. So he can want indefinitely. It really does not mean much, unless you decide it's time. But the best rule with sex really is to put it off as long as possible. You really want to get to know this man, and second, it's a very bad idea to give your body to someone because you like them! So you like them -so what! You probably like the person who does you hair, and the person who serves you in a restaurant, and your mailman etc. You should NEVER be in bed with someone based on liking them. If you cannot wait for marriage (and I know-waiting is often difficult for women too) then wait for love, and a committed relationship. Never allow anyone to pressure you into bed. I can't stress enough how much you will resent- not only yourself-but him. At this point the relationship is often doomed....

Don't sabotage yourself........

It's very important that bw stop repeating the garbage that their is a shortage of men! Their is NOT a shortage of men! There may be a shortage of bm, but so what? There are plenty of other kinds all over. They are ubiquitous. You will have a hard time attracting something you have convinced yourself is scarce. This is why the news orgs are touting this crap every time you turn around. They don't want bw in loving, happy unions, and especially not with top of the line wm. As more and more wm cross the line, notice the verbal attacks against bw grow in frequency, and viciousness. First of all they have a vested interest in bw being tired, beaten, angry, and dejected. And second, they want good wm reserved for ww! That is why it is imperative that you disregard what these purveyors of malice tell you. Remember that there are enough wm in this world that ANY and EVERY bw who wants one, can have one. The marines may be looking or a few good men, but you're only looking for one! The best way to find him is to frequent the places of YOUR interest. If he's there, it's likely he shares your interest. And you can build from there. When you catch him looking, smile softly, and turn away. When you turn back, he should be looking with new interest (based on your smile) If you are with a group, move by yourself to make it easier for him to approach you. (men hate to approach women in a group) You have to give him the green light in order to bring him to you.

Green light

Smiling genuinely, /with happiness

being friendly and open

Cocking head to side, while watching him

Air of happiness and or confidence

Open body language-facing him, head up, biting lip-while taking quick glances, etc.

Red light (Y'all should know these by heart-so many of you use them!)

Set/angry chins

Rolling eyes

Never looking up at him/no eye contact

Turning away from him

Using a blocking item (book, head sets, other ppl etc.

Arms folded (as in -get the hell away from me!) He will know right away which light you have on, and he'll act accordingly....

What if it's a date from hell, and he really is looking for a chocolate fantasy.....

When it comes to DFH, we've all been there at least once. When it happens, laugh it off, and vow to vet more carefully next time. I will tell you how I saw one young woman handle a DFH, and I thought she did a splendid job............As for the chocolate fantasy part. I told you don't worry about it, because he's not going to get anything you have not consented to anyway. So discard the concern of what he might want.....check out how this young lady handled her DFH.......

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I was watching some dating show a few yrs ago. It took place on a cruise ship. (some of you may remember it) Anyway, there was a blind date between a wm, and a beautiful ebony-hued bw. (Girl-really, she looked about 24) So anyway, I remember thinking how lovely she was. She was very dark with light eyes, and the effect was quite stunning. She had long brown hair, and was fairly slim. When she met him, he seemed decent enough at first. He told her that she was gorgeous, and that he was happy to meet her. She smiled, said thank you, and gave him a brief hug. But I began to get a 'funny feeling' about him as they entered the dining hall. It was a formal setting, (the whole cruise was very upscale) and she was dressed formally, in a long mauve colored gown. Now keep in mind that she looked right at home, because she was a very classy, and elegant looking/speaking woman. Several men turned and gave her approving smiles, but he seemed disturbed about something. As they sat down, he turned to her and said:

"I'm surprised you wore that dress " She looks up surprised and says: "Why?" (He) "Well, I would have expected you to wear something more..... alluring!" (She, blinking, and confused) "To a formal dinner-what exactly do you mean by alluring" (He, shakes his head-changes discussion) They talked about other things, and the date seemed to be going ok, but it was obvious she was still bothered by his earlier comment (probably because it made no sense) Then I noticed that he kept looking at the bodice of her dress. He can hardly tear himself away to answer her question. He's just staring like a dog in heat. Since the dress was not revealing in anyway, his behavior borders on lascivious. She grows tired of trying to converse with him, while he stares at her dress, and grows angrily quiet. He finally notices that she's quiet and rather annoyed, and he gives a brief apology. He says something about the dress reminding him of something-she does not believe him, but lets it drop. Later when they don their swimsuits, he gets upset because she has not chosen a bikini. (she'd brought a one-piece) He begins to question her on how this is not typical attire for a black girl!!! She gets very offended, and informs him that bgs come in different sizes, shapes and personalities! He offers a weak apology, and they go swimming.... (This is a 3-day date)
The next day they meet for breakfast, and the tension they've experienced earlier seems to have dissipated somewhat. She's bright and cheerful, and obviously trying to make the best of a bad situation. They are joking around, when she laughingly asks him how tall he is. (He's short-about 5.6), at this point he goes ballistic! and starts yelling that she's trying to embarrass him. She tells him that she was only asking because she's 5.5 and wanted to know if he was taller. He mentions that he's rather sensitive about his height, and without bothering to apologize for his ridiculous behavior, he falls silent. She tries to put his rude behavior aside and see the date through. A little while later, she is talking to the camera, and she is saying that although she agreed to this date, she could not wait for it to be over, and that she suspected that he thought she would be a hoochie type woman because she was black.

At dinner that night, her suspicions and mine, were confirmed. She wore an off-white gown, had her hair up, and her make up perfect. She was stunning. When she walked into the dining area, all the men turned to stare, and several men got up from their seats, as if it might entice her to join them for dinner. Her date not only refused to get up when she came to the table, but he looked up at her and scowled. She looked uncomfortable, and surprised, but she took her seat. He then turned to her and said:
"Why the hell are you wearing a LONG dress-is this sh*t supposed to turn me on?" She gazed at him a moment, and said,

"I was not trying to turn you on, I was trying to get to know you"
At this point he threw down his napkin, and stood up.

"I've had it" He shrieked, "You don't even act like a black girl!-you act like a princess for God's sake!-and this date is OVER!!!"

With that he stood back like he was hoping she would 'go off' but she remained calm, and collected. She shrugged her shoulders casually.

"Well, it was nice meeting you" she lied. "Have a safe trip home...."

He turned and stormed out, while several white men nearby rushed to take his place........
Ladies, never tolerate disrespect from ANY man. He obviously thought because this young woman was black, that she would be a shenehneh, (loud, ghetto, vulgar, and/or easy) when he saw that she was the epitome of class and grace, he was livid. I guess he thought he was in for easy sex for the whole week end. etc. She handled it wonderfully though, and I was very proud of her. You don't have to act like a jerk because he does. A lady knows that actions speak louder than words every time. If he shows that he has no home training and wants to disrespect you on a date, make a flimsy excuse (that he'll see right through, ) and LEAVE. The only thing I would have changed about the girl on the show, is that I would have told her not to waste another night on this jerk. I would have told her to leave on day 1. This man was extremely rude, arrogant, insensitive and abrasive. But notice there was a roomful of other men who could not wait to take his place. When you are quality woman, there are ALWAYS other men waiting to take the present man's place-remember that....
As for discerning whether he's there for you, or just wants to fulfill a fetish-use the following clues, and keep in mind that men are just not smart enough to fool anyone for long. Their real selves always emerge, and give them away. All you have to do is listen, wait, and observe.........

Here are some signs that he's looking for something more serious -possibly marriage....

1. He's respectful

2. He wants to spend more time with you

3. He talks to you about the good, bad, and insignificant things in his life.4. He introduces you to his family

5. He looks at you 'proudly

'6. He treats you like you are something special

7. He is extremely interested in pleasing you

8. He has extremely good manners and behaves like a gentleman9. He refuses to let others speak ill of you10. He thinks you're beautiful even when you look like whoopi (no offense whoopi) and takes you everywhere.

Here are some signs that he just has a fetish for bw (RUN!)

1. He calls only at night

2. He wants to come over late, (no date just a late call) -don't let him!

3. You have never met his best friend or his family

4. You only seem to go out to strange, far away places

5. He looks embarrassed when ww look at you two together.

6. He seems to be uncomfortable with you in public

7. He lets him family and friends say nasty things about you- or ignore you.

8. He makes a lot of sexual references to your body and barely notices your face

9. He's always groping you, even when you ask him to stop.10 He seems to be rushing the relationship toward the bedroom even after you tell him -you want to take it slow... /He does not seem genuinely interested in the 'real' you. 11. Instead of looking at you with pride, and respect- he constantly 'leers' 12. He does not give a damn about the things you think, because he 'knows' you won't be around long enough for it to matter...-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For those of you who keep emailing me asking for wealth tips -here are a few

.... 1. Car flea Market Riches!Here is a very easy way to make thousands of dollars per month. Many men will take to this idea but there is no reason why a woman cannot do it, provided she takes measures to protect herself from strangers....You see in the paper every day people selling cars and people buying cars. A great number of those ads are really from car dealers who take over the newspaper much to the frustration of people who want to buy from the seller to avoid the high dealer costs/add ons. You can help the buyers and the sellers, as well as make a fortune each month by simply creating a car flea market....Many ideas to make a fortune are easy to come up with. An idea does not have to require a PHD to think up or facilitate. Unfortunately many people cannot grasp the simply realization that simple things can often make more money than the complicated. Look at the paper clip for example... To implement this simple plan go out and find a decent sized lot. Abandoned drive ins are great but there are any number of spaces that can be made usable for this simple purpose. When you find a decent spot negotiate with the owner on a lease fee. That done, advertise in the paper that you have car lot where people can display their cars for 25.00 per vehicle. Try to get some publicity from the radio stations or advertise heavily in the newspaper or use bandit signs etc. Any number of ways will get you customers, and this type of business will grow by word of mouth bigger each month. It's fairly easy to be pulling in 10,000 per month in this easy business within a few months with some work. You can let vendors come for free and take a small percentage of their profit or make them pay up front. All negotiations are between buyers and sellers you have nothing to do with problems with any cars or anything like that. You are merely the 'place' where the transactions occurred. This businesses can be operated for most of the year and many people are getting quite wealthy in ventures of this kind. Simply write up an agreement stating your terms (25.00 per vehicle, you are not liable for any transactions etc.) Get a signed agreement from each vendor and put it in a file (you can use a folder in an ordinary drawer-but don't lose it) You can have a mechanic there who charges for vehicle inspections and you can take a percentage of his profit! Use your imagination wealth is for the taking not for the dreamers.....

2. Car Service Reminders.....

Many people are so very busy that they cannot remember to have their car serviced. Then they have problems at the worst times (ie bad neighborhoods, late at night, all alone etc.) You can approach any number of dealers, and have too much business to handle in no time. You would be taking over service reminders (which many dealers are too busy to undertake) you would send postcards to the people who are due for service and take a percentage of everyone who comes in to have the service done. You would negotiate with the dealer on how much of a percentage, but a good rule of thumb is 20%. With just 3-4 dealers you could easily make double what most people are making working 40 hours per week! This is a bit detailed as there is a lot of record keeping. This type of biz would be best for someone who is detailed oriented and loves numbers. If that sounds like you-give it a try. You can print up business cards and presto! You are in business honey. The dealers will be so happy to have this tedious task off their hands they will practically overwhelm you! Just keep your day job and let it grow-and it will try it and you'll see......

3. Details for rich kids!

If you have kids who want to make extra money and you have a good amount of drive way or lawn space, try this: Place this ad in paper or around town.Best Car Detail in town! done by young professions-working their way to college! People love to help young people get to college and as long as your children are responsible (not too young now) they will let them clean and detail their cars especially if the work is superior and the prices are a little less. Always supervise your children and teach them to very, very carefully detail the cars (you can easily get a library book on this) 3 kids can do a very good job in about 45 minutes and by charging 25 % less than a typical detailer for your area you WILL get jobs. USE the paper, or bandit signs or word of mouth if you want to build slow and steady. What most people do not realize is that almost anything can become a business. I was reading recently about a young kid who started taking back the neighbors trash cans as a courtesy in an area where they receive heavy fines for leaving cans out. (125.00) Many people had to leave work to go take their garbage cans back to the house from the street! As a result he soon had numerous people who begged him to do the same for them. He began to charge 5.00 per house and made so much money he quit his job and hired his 2 sisters. One as a secretary and the other to help him recruit more kids so he could expand. Within months he was making more than his parents who have worked for years by adding 2 more neighborhoods! You must learn to think outside the box. You have million dollar ideas EVERYDAY -its time to dust off a few and put them to work......thanks for tuning in see you next time -S

How the media distorts and discourages bw/wm couples....

2009-10-29T15:25:00.008-05:00

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Rick and Eleanor Hemmert, looking unhappy and dejected: On ABC's World News Tonight...

Last night’s ABC World News Tonight profiled an interesting story entitled “Male Nurses, Stay-at-Home Dads: New Norm?”. The story involved remarks, and commentary from several couples, most of them mono-racial. But the one IR couple they featured included a wm/bw couple. Wouldn't you know it, they chose an unhappy couple which featured a very belittling, and non-supportive wife. The wife, Eleanor Hemmert, actually criticizes, and embarrasses her husband before all of America as she declares:

"I don't like coming home and seeing him in my apron-I wish I could say something else, but I've lost so much respect for him!"

I was livid watching the segment because it seems the media ALWAYS tries to use an overly-aggressive black woman and a passive, sour, unhappy-looking white man. I noticed the other couples they used all adjusted rather nicely to the husband's abrupt work departure. The other women understood that bad times happen to good ppl, and they were very supportive of their husbands. One lady even recommended that her husband become a nurse. He said he felt that this way, he would never be out of work again. The couples smiled and showed an amazing amount of support for one another. The only ones looking sour and upset were the mixed couple. This really upset me on several levels. Most of all the fact that they probably searched far and wide to find a bw who would disrespect, and embarrass her man on public television this way. After all, who knows how to hold it down in hard times better than us!! A man losing a job is nothing for your average bw. Many bw have dated and married men who did not even TRY to work! So having a husband lose a job, is nothing to most of us. We know how to ride out a storm. What really infuriated me the most was that they would subtly imply that had he not had a black wife, he may have gotten some support. I really resent the media's subtle, and constant, negative perceptions of bw. Whenever I watch wife swap, I notice if it's a bw/wm IR couple, they'll always use a very disempowering, aggressive, almost bitchy type bw. Then they'll pair her with a nauseatingly passive wm, and 'pretend' it's just a coincidence that the couple happens to be that way! The last time I watched one of these 'coincidental pairings' the very dark wife got angry that the husband had wine while she was away. She acted like a complete fool. Her mother also acted a fool, and their 3 beautiful daughters were caught in the middle.She had the nerve to come in screaming at him, that SHE did not allow wine in her house! (like it wasn't his house too lol!) The husband (a handsome wm) seemed inordinately happy to see her when he got back, but then she lit into him and destroyed the whole mood, in a matter a few scant minutes. The girls tried to intervene to no avail. She was off on a screaming tangent, and the husband dropped the flowers he had bought for her, and dejectedly slunk away. The segment ended with the white wife crying happily to have her husband back, and the black wife screaming, shrieking, and locking him out of the bedroom!

See the media has an agenda. It always has, and it always will. The point of picking a very passive husband, is to make it seem like the majority of wm are weak, passive, can't stand up to their women, and are woefully lacking a backbone. The truth is passive men come in ALL colors, and most wm are NOT passive! The purpose of throwing these men under the bus is to make them as unattractive, and unappealing to non-white women as possible. I'm sure you ladies know that most women (regardless of color) favor the take charge type man. Most heterosexual women want men who walk tall, speak with authority, and can handle a crisis. This is why women are often accused of wanting 'thugs'. She may simply be drawn to his air of authority, but this is often confused with an attraction to his 'thugness'. Men, just to clear the record, regardless of what you've heard-very few women want thugs. And it's usually the very young women at that. The older a woman gets, the more she longs for a 'real' man. If a bw thinks when she sees a handsome wm: "Hmmmm he is so handsome! But......Everybody knows how wm are! He's probably scared of his shadow, can't speak his mind, and has a small penis...hmmmm I think I'll pass...........

When this happens, then once again-the media has won. You see the reason they keep repeating these tired stereotypes, is because they become like auto-reverse cassettes in our minds. Once they are believed, they become convictions, and then they will automatically play upon sight...

Of course you ladies know why they present very aggressive, belligerent black women. This falls right in line with their proclamation that all bw are angry, loud, overbearing etc. They'll fight arduously to retain this antiquated stereotype alive, because it fits in with their program. This enables them to sleep better at night while they uphold ww as the epitome of beauty, purity, innocence, and womanly essence. It also discourages some non-bm from approaching bw.

Afer all, our subconscious guides everything our conscious mind does. So if his subconscious is saying; "Hmmm, she's beautiful, but you know how black women are! -I don't want her to go 'off' and start screaming and neck-twisting on me! Soooooo..... I guess I better not ask her out" *dejectedly walking away*

Once again, to the victor go the spoils. And it's a home run for the media, while both wm and bw lose out. It's important that you question WHY they do things, so you can understand the desired results, as well as the reasoning that goes with it. The media knows that ppl believe what they see! Even if what they see has been chopped, cut, altered, or literally made up! The truth is bw/wm couples are some of the longest lasting marriages out there. They are reportedly some 44% more likely to last than even WW/WM marriages!!! (check out Evia's blog for the latest stats) This would not be so, if these couples were miserable and unhappy as the media loves to portray..... Be not deceived-the devil is a LIAR, and so is the media.....

The art of Covert Nefarious Delusion, and how it's used on bw.....

2009-10-19T14:03:00.015-05:00

"Psss... "White men don't want you-so you might as well stay!"

"You need bm, you know it..."

"Give a brotha a chance, he'll get it together one day...."

"Oh, so you gonna sleep with the slave master!-the ones who raped your grandmother!"

Covert Nefarious Delusion- in action.....
I remember watching a real life-type program on TV a while ago (true story type) . There was a handsome white father who had divorced his wife, (also white) and was living alone. The wife took their young teen aged child, and moved to start a new life. The father was reduced to seeing his child a few times a year. When the child was 16 she decided she would like to live with her father. He was estastic. He had a business, and nice home, and new girl friend, but they happily set up a room for her, and went to the airport to meet her. The girl came off the plane, and flung herself into his arms. She was dark haired and quite pretty. She in fact, looked alot like him. He and his gf made her feel at home, and welcomed her happily into their lives. He enrolled her in school, and she settled in-seemingly happy. A year later, the teacher in chemistry was giving a lesson on a very dangerous substance, and was telling the class how if ingested, this particular substance would be fatal-and very difficult to identify in the body, as it mimicked a heart attack. The girl listened with rapt attention. Later, for seemingly no reason, she grabbed a paper towel and stole some of the substance.....

About a week later she made a Mexican dish for her father and his gf. The family was happily eating, and talking, when the father became violently ill. The gf panicked and called 911, but by the time they arrived the father had what looked like a heart attack, and was DOA. The gf was inconsolable with the daughter seen crying next to her except when they panned in on her face, it was obvious there were no tears! Simply a blank, dead look. Shortly after wards she went to with her grandparents (her mother had remarried, and refused to take her) she bragged to her friend, that she had killed her father because she wanted to go live with her mother! Her friend soon told on her. The body was excavated, re-autopsied, and she was subsequently arrested. But the most important thing is; when the judge asked her how she could murder the man who loved, take care of, and raised her most of her life. She just gave him a cold, insidious smile, and shrugged! Killing her father meant absolutely nothing to her!-it was like he didn't even matter. The psychiatrist told the police (who also wanted to know) she was a sociopath. she had no empathy for others. Her only role in life is to get what she wanted, and that she saw ppl as objects for her use, and enjoyment. However, the minute the 'object' got in the way, she would simply eliminate it...

I remember being shocked and horrified at the actions of this girl. Her father was so kind and good to her, I could not understand how she could treat him this way. How she could take his life when all she had to do was leave! And the mother, she was murdering him- to get to, did not even want her! She was a cold blooded murderer, but on the outside, she was a young pretty dark haired teenager. This is what made her all the more deadly. Her looks helped her mask a very dark and evil core. Her father had been deceived by her very covert, nefarious delusion. She pretended to love him, and the moment his back was turned she had poisoned him to death, -and felt absolutely NO REMORSE....

And this is exactly what happening to many bw in America right now. So many of you are looking into the faces of men you see everyday, and thinking they care about you while you are being slowly poisoned! And it's every bit as deadly as the substance the evil girl used on her unsuspecting father. It just works more slowly, and methodically. Every day, bw are made to feel low, unloved, useless, hated, and unattractive. Then they are blamed for feeling this way, and made to feel as if they are imagining it, or brought it on themselves...

For instance, if any of you have ever checked out the things said about Whoppi, let me enlighten you. They are saying things like this:

"She's so black and ugly -why doesn't she kill herself?"
"Who would want that ugly-black thing?"
"Man, she looks like a monster!"
"Ugly ass B**** she should slit her own wrists, to save our eyes!"
Then they have a nerve to turn around and become enraged because she only dates wm! Saying that she should bring that money back to the blk community! (Can you blame Whoopi for running?....They've all got their arms extended, offering flasks of poison, and are livid because she won't sit still, and drink!

Let me give you some examples of this poison being used against ordinary bw everyday:
Young Berg: " I don't do dark butts!"
Neyo: " All the prettiest kids are mixed!"
Westley Snipes " "Black women got too much attitude, that's why I don't date them..
Ice Tea: "I don't give a damn what bw think-they're just jealous of my wife!"
DL Hugley " They was some ugly ass women!" (referring to Rutgers girl's team)
Clarence Thomas " I would never touch her, (hill) She's too damn dark!" (he's darker than her) Wilt Chamberlain: "I can't date black women-they don't even know which fork to use!"
Damon Wayons: " Imus was right-I have no issue with him calling them nappy headed hos!"
DJ Barnes: Originator of the light skin party......

Yet bm insist that bw are lying when bw call them color-struck and accuse them of being intra-racists.... And this can go on and on and on...
Bw wake up! You are being systematically poisoned by degrees in covert fashion, everyday. The longer you engage in magical thinking the more viable and immediate, the danger becomes. The most significant reason you have not reconciled the danger, is because the ones administering the poisoning, ARE CALLED BROTHERS! This is no accident. This is systematic mind programming. (Covert Nefarious Delusion) These ppl have designed this pernicious program to capture a bw's mind, and turn her into a slave for the bc, in whatever purpose is deemed most necessary, at any given time. The trick is to make her feel so lowly and undesired, that she is quite vulnerable, and hungry for ANY type of attention. When this task is completed, she won't dare utter the word marriage, she will bet too afraid of offending her mind captors. Besides, by that time she will know that she is garbage, and they will no longer have to remind her on a daily basis. She will happily comply with fatherless children, being used for money, sex, her home, her laundry skills, her cooking skills, her connections etc. This begins with causing her to think all bm are her brothers. They are NOT your brothers, so stop using that expression. That in and of itself lowers your defenses, and leaves you open to attack. What you are experiencing at the hands of these men is nothing short of spiritual - homicide. And any fool knows that once the spirit dies, the body follows suit!! This is warfare for your sanity. This is not just a few innocent remarks. These 'remarks' are leading to all sorts of malfeasance being committed against bw.

The remarks are ONLY the beginning! Black women are not being allowed to walk the streets in peace, or live in peace. They are being bombarded all the time, with disparaging remarks, insults, that grow more deadly, and acts of violence that grow more malicious all the time. Bw are living and dying (sometimes by suicide) because of these 'innocent remarks, and the accompanying actions of 'brothers' everyday! Yet many bw cannot for the life of them, figure out why they are constantly depressed, on edge, or eating to the point of oblivion. They are being told that a few innocent words mean nothing. they are over-reacting. They are acting 'white'. (expecting bm to treat them in a decent manner.)This is why bw are constantly told they are imagining things COVERT NEFARIOUS DELUSION- this causes her to question her own mind, and her own sanity. She begins to think: 'But if everyone thinks nothings wrong-then I must be complaining about nothing!" Even though her heart (and often her body-via- pain) is telling her everything is NOT all right. She sips minute amounts of the poison daily and dies by degrees. Learn to recognize poison for what it is, and remove yourself from it's source. The reason so many bw are walking zombies of pain now is because half the folks in the black enclaves are screaming: "Black women are fat, loud, ugly, no good, baby mommas etc....

Bw are constantly attacked emotionally, spiritually and even physically. Yet she is the least likely to be protected and aided, should she fall. Now ask yourself- what do other blacks say when bw are attacked? Listen to how her feelings are disregarded, and brushed away...

"Just ignore it" "It don't mean nuthin"
"You're too sensitive""We just need to show that brother some love that's all"
"If the white man wasn't hurtin him so bad-he wouldn't hurt you"
"You tryin to claim he raped you! -Oh, so you tryin to lock another brother up-right!"
"So he squeezed your butt!-You shouldn't been wearin those tight pants!"
"He threw that rock at you cause you thought you was too good to speak!"
"You a sista-you should understand what a brotha goes through!" etc etc etc.....

The whole black construct seems predicated on using bw, and convincing them that they are not seeing and hearing what they think they are seeing and hearing. You are hearing them right! You are seeing them right!
When you walk by, and you see the evil glare in their eyes, you are NOT imagining it. When you see their lips curl, and their eyes squint with malice, you are not imagining it!

I remember someone talking about being on a bus, and pulling up to a stop. She said she watched as a bm attacked a bw in full view of everyone at the stop and on the bus. He was punching and calling her B**** as he beat her senseless in front of her two screaming, crying children. The little girls were screaming in fear, while a dozen bm stood by, some of them laughing!!! This woman was being beaten to death in front of these animals, and not one of them intervened, and some of them laughed!!! Bw-you MUST GET OUT!!

As I remember it, the bus driver (a wm) had to leave the bus and scare this fool away. While her so-called 'brothers' stood there! That's why I say those words are designed to confuse, and dis empower you. These men are NOT your brothers-they never have been, and they never will be! And even though they are trying to pull a CND on you, (Covert Nefarious Delusion) you can get away if you move fast.

I will give you another example of what I'm talking about. In one of the mixed schools I went to, I was accosted one day by several black guys because they didn't like the fact, that I was dating a wb. (although many of them had w-gfs) When they asked me why I was messing with a 'white devil' I responded 'None of your damn business! " They didn't like my answer. "Well since you like white d--k," one snarled. "You'll like the real thing alot better!" They grabbed me (we were on the outside of the school,) and pretended to be 'playing' as they tried to 'feel me up' while I kicked, punched, and screamed. An officer who was nearby, ran over, and immediately, they released me. The whole thing lasted about 5 minutes, but I was hysterical and crying. He knelt down, and gently pulled me back up- asking me what happened. They immediately began to chuckle, saying "Girl, you know we was just playin wit you" and "Don't make a big deal, and get a brotha in trouble over nuthin now" The officer told them to shut up, and I went inside with him to make a report. Ms Getty, A bw in the main office convinced me to drop the charges saying a good bg would never send young brothers to jail or get them suspended. She made them apologize the next day, and they snickered as they did so....

Several years later, two of these same 4 boys (men) are in jail for raping and murdering several black women! Recognize CND for what it is. Don't let the wool be pulled over your eyes-it's too dangerous to be blind in this world. These jerks who had attacked me actually tried to 'pretend' it was a game, even though I was crying hysterically! I see this everyday. Bw being hurt in the worst ways, while everyone tries to tell her she's imagining things. Bw wake up to the fact that some ppl have NO CONSCIOUS. Stop thinking because YOU could not knowingly hurt someone, that they could not knowingly hurt you. One has nothing to do with the other. While bw are being hurt, insulted, used, maltreated, abused, and sometimes killed, other bp will still be insisting that you that you are over-reacting! You provoked it. They didn't mean to kill you blah, blah, blah....

Refuse to be misled, and guided down the path of spiritual suicide, or acquiescence. They are attempting to engage in Covert Nefarious Delusion, and you are the pigeon. It does not matter if they are male of female, black or white. Anyone who tells you the blk enclaves are not death traps, and that most bm are not trying to harm you emotionally or physically, is either lying to themselves or knowingly lying to you. Ether way-get away from them. Some bw have been treated so badly, that their critical analyzing faculties, are short circuiting from the numerous lies and distortions they've swallowed. Some to the degree, that they can no longer trust their own reasoning skills anymore, because they've become so mangled by misuse and distortions. These women are likely to be horribly confused and vulnerable. Some of these vulnerable weaker souls, will be turned into sycophantic minions and be used to go out and gather more fools to come into the bc. The new fools will be groomed and readied for sacrifice...... This is why you have some bw who will actively go out and bring other bw into the hellholes to be harmed. This is usually done by friendship (false) intimidation, lies, pressure, or even fear if necessary. Whatever it takes, these bm-identified pathetic souls-will bring in new victims...

Here are some of the primary ways ppl will try to brainwash bw into thinking they are imaging things, and that everything is honky-Dory in the bc.....
Do any of the following sound/feel familiar?

1. Get a bunch of ppl around you, and keep repeating that you are wrong.
2. Tell you how crazy it sounds, and try to force you to explain how it makes sense
3. Quote well known damaged men, and pretend their words mean something
4. Call up ppl in your family or theirs who will back them up
5. Tell others so they can all laugh at your ridiculous assertions
6. Tell other bm/bw so they can look at you like you've lost it
7. Talk about black love, and how we need to support each other
8. Send you articles, and emails that supposedly ' prove' bw are back stabbing bm
9. Talk non-stop about how bw don't support bm anymore
10. Talk about how horribly bad bm have it, and how bw are now turning their backs and running off with wm
11. How 'good' bw would NEVER do to bm what today's bw are doing.
12. How only 'whorish' bw would ever consider dating white....
13. "Bw should raise bb better, then they wouldn't be filling the jails!"
14. "Bw ain't standing behind bm, that's why bm is leaving them for white girls"
15. "If bw had they sh-- together, they wouldn't be all alone"
16. "If bw would stop thinking they better than bm, they wouldn't have a 70% single rate!"
17. "Bw won't let bm be fathers, that's why bm don't take care of their kids"
18. If bw didn't wear so many hair weaves, and act so fake-bm wouldn't have left .....
19. If bw weren't so fat,mean, uppity,etc... then bm wouldn't have left them....
20. We just need to come together and love our brothers-then they'll change/come back etc...

And on and on ad nauseum. The point is, that this is Covert Nefarious Delusion at it's finest. These words and many others are used to convince, persuade, and corrupt bw's minds to think that everything in the bc is their faults, and their responsibility to fix. These ppl and their enablers know that once you control the mind, the body will surely follow. This is why they are in such a rush to convince bw that they're bad, mean, lazy, ugly, fat, too ambitious, uppity, heartless and most of all UNWANTED BY ANYONE ELSE! Because once the mind is sufficiently demeaned, and dulled by pain, and repetition. These women will become like living zombies. Malleable, and easily controlled (used) for their whims. Never doubt for a moment that there is a war for your mind. It is up to you to exercise and use your critical thinking abilities along with your intuition. These are inherent weapons given to you by nature to aid in your survival. But if you abrogate these precious gifts, then the effect is the same as not having them....

Start NOW! 60-day action plan to escape!
Start stashing money now. Every chance you get, put those dollars away. Don't tell anyone. the bible says "Go, and tell no man" this is reference to a get away. Act like you believe all the bs the bc is putting down.

Nod your head with the other cartoon characters and say: "um... hmm girl, you are right-sistas need to stop stabbing good brothers in the back!"

Make a power fist to the bm walking by with the white girl on his arm, like you believe his bull. Pretend you don't notice that he's giving his name, his money, his time, his progeny, his home, vehicles, and possessions to the wg. while handing out 'black literature' about how terrible the 'man' is, and how he's keeping the bm down...

Then, instead of going to church 5 days a week, cut back and go spend some time in a much nicer, and culturally diverse area. Really soak up the feel of fresh air and clean streets. Come back as often as you can. When you are not there-picture it. What you are doing is creating the scene in your mind so that you can draw it into your life. Along with picturing, you must ACT. Get a membership to a health club in this area, or library card (if you can use someone else's address) spend as much time here as you can, so it becomes a very 'real' part of your life. Then look for employment here, or see if you can transfer on your job. When you land employment in this area, rent a U-haul for a few hundred dollars, and get the hell out of the hellhole known as the bc. Don't even let your children come back to visit-they don't need to see these evil places again...

The Black woman's guide to social elevation Part 1.

2009-10-10T21:29:00.029-05:00

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Black women are getting degrees at 3x the rate of bm. They are buying houses, starting businesses, as well as seeking mates in the upper echelons of society.

Lets examine other areas in which we can expedite and exploit other avenues of social mobilization available to us....

These are small but profound steps up the ladder of social dominance....

Intelligent, upwardly mobile bw+ powerful well connected wm= SOCIAL DOMINANCE!

This lesson on social elevation is geared toward all the women who want more than to escape the black enclaves. If you are such a woman, and you want to engage, mate, and marry into the highest tiers of society- pay careful attention to the following advice.Many women think social mobility = a college degree, but this is just a minuscule segment of social climbing. You can go so much higher. This is entirely possible with adequate instruction, and ongoing support. Black women, in fact, MUST be socialized, and taught to reach the highest pinnacles of their respective fields, and become bastions of high society. Why? Because there are innumerable benefits that avail themselves to participants, for each ascending tier one reaches in life. Beginning with, but not limited to:

1. Access to the best Institutions of higher learning available

along with the accompanying respect,long term prospects, career boosting criteria, and critical thinking skills, these institutions are able to afford to one's life. The ability to offer one's progeny or offspring the best education money can buy.

2. Status and clout-over generations...

These intangibles can open doors not just for oneself, but for one's future generations, thereby being able to effect, influence, and 'exert' aid to one's offspring long after you have departed this life. Surely, you've all heard many wealthy ppl say things such as: "Yes, well our grandfather started that company when he was just a poor immigrant many years ago, and our family has kept it going for over 50 years...."

3. Having a database of contacts and connections

These are the type of connections that ppl in the lower tiers can only dream of. The truth is contacts =contracts! Many of the most successful, and well connected people in the world have been carefully mentored and 'guided' to the top.

4.Sophistication, Savvy, and social conditioning indigent to the long-term wealthy

The class savvy, confidence, and savour fair that comes from being well-traveled, and able to move among differing types of people with poise and comfort. The social graces, that scream class and decorum before one opens one's mouth. It becomes almost tangible with time, and enables one's to be treated with a higher degree of respect and deferment.

5.Ease and comfort with wealth, and privilege

The ability to be relaxed, unstressed, and comfortable with large amounts of wealth, and the ability (that is wealth 101 for many rich) to make wealth grow and to use wealth as the preamble to greater wealth and not to squander 15,000 on a pair of ridiculously ostentatious rims!!! No cultured, eloquent, sophisticated upper crust person would do this ever! Even a middle class person lacking extenuating resources, but having a modicum of common sense, would not engage in such foolishness.

6. Class and comfort-of course.

One of the primary goals of social climbing is so that one can have a life of leisure, as well as one of contribution. Being able to contribute to one's community, church, schools, etc is quite soul-as well as ego-fulfilling. Yet, being able to raise one's children in relative comfort, in a luxurious, pampered, and unstressed environment is the most profound, and desirable element of all. We all want to give our children better. Social climbing in a highly concentrated, and substantive manner, allows us to exceed the minor goal of giving our children better-we can give them the best!!

It is extremely imperative for bw to be socially mobile, much more so than others, lest they be inadvertently shuffled to the bottom. Too many of you ladies see wealth as unattainable, and beyond the scope of your grasp. In an age where black women are marrying Princes (Prince Maximilian and Angela Brown), Counts (Count Ferdinand, and wife Mary) or simply setting their sights on mega rich celebrities/and or businessmen (Wolfgang Puck, Boris Becker, Luc Bessom, Peter Norton, etc. This could not be further from the truth! The truth is that anyone who undertakes serious work, dedication and diurnal conditioning, can position themselves to reach higher echelons. Even if you never reach the moon, you can certainly reach the stars, and be much higher than you originally started on your journey. Many black women in this day and age are beginning to understand this theory inherently. This is why more and more black women are severely limiting this time in black enclaves, and amongst those with an internally impoverished mindset. More and more bw are grabbing at the chances availing themselves to partake in gifts of social mobility, and betterment. More women seem to intrinsically understand that life is NEVER stagnant, either you are growing or heading for your imminent demise.

How the black man -dynamic comes into play....

This is why many bm will try to grab onto the skirts of the mobile bw. You will see this dynamic play out again and again as a soon to be, college graduate gets pregnant by some around -the- way, LOSER. The loser set his sights on her from the start. He could have just as easily gone after a woman on his level, who had no aspirations of betterment, but he CHOSE to go after the aspiring woman and stagnate her progress. This selfish act serves a dual purpose. Most bm know (even if they won't admit it) that they are slowly becoming extinct. They must latch onto a host body (like any parasite) in order to survive. They have no plans in play for their own survival (as any reasonable man would) so they use bw as a lifeline. As more and more bw try to 'shake them off,' and move on to better lives. They grow more resentful- angry, defiant, and desperate. They cannot allow her to discard them! Their lives are intrinsically bound to her, for she has the majority of the wealth, education, businesses, houses, contacts, and other resources they need in order to survive. This is why they would rather she be annihilated than happily cavorting off into the sunset with an equally mobile white man. And this is why they go after the up and coming college student instead of shenaynay. It serves a dual purpose, if she is able to navigate the treacherous landscape of academic study and coursework, she'll become an asset which can be used at their disposal, for discretionary income, social connection/contacts, sexual gratification etc. If she is able to prosper despite the 200 lb weight hanging off her neck, than they can coast along on her back and vicariously 'achieve' and live the good life. But if she falters, stumbles, and is unable to remain upright, then they can easily eject themselves from her back to her head and 'stomp' her further into the ground. This in effect, vastly increases the likelihood of her never getting up. The parasite has now done his job, and can now jump off, and look for fresh prey. Either way this is soul satisfying for him, because her ambition is a constant irritant to him, since it amplifies the lack of his own. If you think I'm lying about this, take note of the alarming amount of young bw college students dumped by their predator -boyfriends, shortly after becoming pregnant, and having their academic careers derailed. This is parasitic behavior in action. Did you think it was a mere coincidence, that all these once-promising career women have been mysteriously turned into struggling baby-mama's, and that now they are, (gasp!) all alone?

Black women if you wish to be socially mobile (and you should) -your first order of the day is to avoid lower tiered men like the plague!!! ESPECIALLY IN THE BLK ENCLAVES!!!

I'm aware this may sound harsh, but it is EXTREMELY difficult to make it up a hill with a 200 lb weight around your neck!

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This lesson begins a series of instructions, and mentoring for bw who want, need, or must socially elevate their lives. These posts will be stuck in under regular posts for those who need them. Many bw do not understand many concepts in life which if understood, could serve to add to, and better their lives in countless ways. There are so many misconceptions about class and status and betterment, that I really feel the need to clear some ambiguous theories up. First of all, bw need to understand that if you want to move up-you MUST encounter, engage with, and accompany those who are already up! In other words, drastically limit your time with losers if you are trying to be a winner. And certainly limit your time with the perpetually indigent if you are trying to be rich! I was reading another BWE blogger the other day (no one from sidebar) and while I was blown away by her level of critical thinking, and analysis, (as well as the fact that she's an incredible writer) I was put off by her myopic views concerning Upper class individuals. She's obviously under the impression that the upper class is a closed back room in which very few individuals , regardless of personal resources, ie wealth, education, upbringing, etc, can enter. She insinuated that the comment calling Michelle Obama a ghetto girl- because she grew up in a working class environment- had merit. She did not explicitly state this, but I (strongly) inferred this from the text of her words. I would like to discuss why I feel that this label is 100% erroneous, and why (in many circles) the first lady would most certainly qualify as a member of the upper crust. First of all the first lady exudes class from her pores, second she is extremely intelligent, well spoken, and sagacious. Although, I do understand that these qualities are irrelevant to a certain segment of upper class elitists, but what this author, as well as others, fail to understand is that there are diverging tides of upper class. I feel that most highly leveraged thinkers can discern that ghetto people ( I hate this term) and hard working, under-class people are two very different demographics. I would also go so far as to add that poor and ghetto are not mutually exclusive. There are many good, decent people who lack monetary resources. Just as there are people who are extremely financially solvent, yet are completely morally bankrupt! I'm sure the very wealthy would agree, but lets talk about the issues that are far more substantive.

Pay attention ladies, because these lessons will be essential if you intend to move up into the higher echelons of society, or look for a mate in these privileged quarters. First of all know that there are about 14 layers of class, not 2 or 3.
I will start with the first 4.

1. Wealth
-Now this is subjective, but usually starts with around a quarter of a million dollars and up. Wealth is NOT interchangeable with class-it is merely one level of class. This is why most wealthy celebrities would still NOT be considered upper class.

2. Lineage -think LINE through TIME.
When you hear the UCL's talk about lineage they are usually referring to the family line of money, and or status. How long has your family had money? Old money usually refers to money in the family for at least 100 years! This is why many of the UCL's who toot their nose at the nuveau riche are not as upper class as they think they are! Many of the black elite have money only 2-3 generations deep. Now perhaps my math is off, but doesn't a generation = 20 years? This means that many of the ppl tooting up their noses at other bp, would have legitimate 'old money' tooting up their noses at them! Also, if you have no money in this generation yet you are related to royalty-then you still have a degree of lineage ( this is referred to as: reflected glory)
The only way to get lineage if you don't have it is to marry it, or be adopted into a lineage family. This is why Elton John paid a member of a royal family to adopt him (although he was already grown) so that he would have access to the lineage of this family, as well as being able to take the title of Sir Elton John!

3. Memberships
Memberships can be quite exclusive, as I'm sure you've all noticed. The exclusivity of memberships serve a dual purpose. One, it avails people of similar educational, community standing, and/or monetarily leveraged backgrounds to band together. It enables them to make, benefit from, and enjoy the intimate connections with like mannered, similarly bred, and often class-conscious individuals. These connections will serve them through life, and benefit not only them, but undoubtedly their offspring as well. And two, it restricts the access of less resourced, and lower tiered, individuals from being able to ingratiate themselves into these exclusive domains. Some memberships will be closed to you eternally unless you have a family member who has/had a membership. Some will be closed by the very nature of their exclusivity, or because you must be sponsored by a certain number of the other members. Yet surprisingly, many of these clubs are not as exclusive as most people think they are IF you make friends with well connected individuals, and/or have other similar lines of class, breeding, educational, or community standing (regardless of reason) and are accepted in. ..

4. Education
The last one we'll cover today is the layer of education. Whether you went to college on an academic scholarship, or your family paid is irrelevant in this instance. Academic achievement very highly regarded, respected, and rewarded in the high class community. It is so coveted, in fact, in the upper echelons of society, that it ranks higher than money in most cases! This is why there was such an uproar when Ms Obama was singled out as first a baby mama, and later on as a ghetto girl. The intelligentsia intrinsically understand that anyone who graduates at the top of an Ivy league Institution can NEVER be regarded as a mere 'ghetto girl' regardless of her humble origins! Black women if you intend to find quarry (mates) from the upper echelons of society-please be sure to include liberal arts in your educational curriculum. This will give you a decided advantage over other women (who are not in the know) , as liberal arts stresses understanding of many requisite subjects, with an emphasize on the humanities. Many wealthy individuals see Liberal Arts as a requisite-for their children's educational development! Get yourself into the highest institutions you can possibly manage because the connections alone with the most elite of society, can often 'set you up' for life! Few public schools have the clout and connections of the premier, elite, and more private Ivy League schools. (Beverly hills Public School -is a definite exception) It's important to remember that if you have several layers of class, a conspicuously absent one will often not necessarily deter you from reaching the highest echelons of society. Think about Princess Di. Although she was enshrined in lineage, money, connections, and social savoir faire, she lacked a degree from a prominent institution (or even a community college). Yet, you'll notice with interest, that she had so many other salient lines of class, that this fact was nonchalantly disregarded, and never hindered her social standing...
Now we will subsequently delve into the next 4 at a latter date, but I also wanted to let you ladies know that just as there are layers of class, there are layers of wealth. All rich are NOT born of the same vein. Wealth and class are NOT mutually exclusive! This is why (very rich) Paris Hilton was referred to as 'white trash' by the family of her ex-boyfriend, who's name was also Paris. Because she lacked so many of the other layers, (as well as being indifferent to class-etiquette) she was ill regarded in the mega-rich community, and considered quite common! This is also why in most high class circles, Mrs. Obama would rate exceedingly high! Her educational achievements, combined with her imperious social decorum's, combined with her standing as the first lady would by far outweigh her working man's origins, and jettison her to the top of the social tier. Just as Princess Di's other layers outweighed her lack of scholastic achievement.

For all you social climbing little butterflies, join us next post. The lesson will be posted right under the post. We'll resume with 4 more tiers of wealth, and how to attract men from the higher echelons of wealth.
thanks for tuning in-see you soon

Down Low judge indicted- but bc comes to his rescue!!!

2009-10-08T16:35:00.004-05:00

Another Down low Bm gets unlimited love and support from the cesspool *better known as the BC*!!
Just in: Judge Herman Thomas is accused of sexual misconduct with over 15 men from a correctional institute. This judge is accused of having sexual relations with numerous men (inmates) in return for lenient sentences. Now since over 15 men (and counting) are accusing him, we KNOW they are not ALL lying! His lawyer is claiming the men lack credibility based on past crimes, and records, but the sheer volume of victims alone, leads me to conclude that this man is very, very guilty.

What's unbelievable about this case though, is that once again bw were out in front like brain-dead jack asses defending this lying, cheating, down low criminal!!! His own wife (seen at top) is also standing by her damaged man! Lawd have mercy!!! There really is a sucker born every minute!
Now keep in mind, some of the charges go back so long ago, that many have been dismissed by the statute of limitations. In other words, this man has been leading this double life for years, and has exposed this silly woman to God knows how many diseases, and yet here she is, proudly holding the hand of the man who could be responsible for giving her AIDS!!! When are bw going to wake up? How long are we going to stay stuck on stupid? She was front and center out front protesting the arrest of this man, who not only took advantage of his position of power and authority, but also violated every ethic, he was supposed to stand for as a Circuit County Judge!
The article is below. I'm just blown away at how stupid people really are! BP are actually protesting because they don't think this man, who violated every tenet of his office, and engaged in the most improprietous acts, a judge can engage in, should be arrested, and held accountable!!
Lord help us all -Truly this is the death of common sense in the black enclaves/communities....

A rally to protest his indictment on 57 felony charges took place on the east side of Government Plaza Saturday April 4 and capped a flurry of activity over the past two weeks in the case of ex-Circuit Court Judge Herman Thomas.
The rally, which took place at noon, featured a crowd of roughly 200 people holding signs and chanting for justice for the former judge, who many of those in attendance seemed to feel is the victim of a racial conspiracy. Speakers included retired Alabama State Port Authority Chief of Police Herbert McCants and President of the Mobile NAACP Jimmie Gardner.
Thomas also spoke briefly but limited his comments at the behest of his attorneys, saying only, “There are three things that are important at this time in my life and are important in your life. That’s faith, family and friends.”
Thomas carried a stack of pre-printed placards to the edge of the gathering, then handed them to another person who handed them out to the crowd before the rally began. They contained slogans asking why Thomas hadn’t been presiding judge when he was the circuit’s longest serving jurist and several admonitions to investigate attorney Joe Kulakowski, among other things. Kulakowski began independently investigating claims of sexual abuse by Thomas about two years ago after he says he learned about it from several clients.

(Press-Register photo)Herman Thomas MOBILE, Ala. -- A lawyer for Herman Thomas -- a former Mobile County circuit judge accused of paddling inmates and defendants -- said he expects at least some of the 15 purported victims to recant their statements during the trial proceedings that begin Monday.
But a prosecutor said the men's allegations have been corroborated "in a number of different ways," all of which will be revealed.
Jury selection begins Monday at Mobile Government Plaza in downtown Mobile, launching what will likely be a monthlong trial with dozens of witnesses.
Thomas, 48, faces more than 100 charges including kidnapping, assault, extortion, sodomy and ethics violations.
Prosecutors have argued that he conducted spanking and paddling sessions as a form of sexual gratification, using his authority as a judge.
Thomas lawyer Robert "Cowboy Bob" Clark said that the 15 men "are not trustworthy and are not believable" and that the defense plans to question their credibility.
"We're talking about murderers, burglars, drug dealers," Clark said.
Nicki Patterson, chief assistant district attorney, said the prosecution has 15 named victims and substantial supporting evidence.
Last month, Clark hoped to depose Thomas' accusers as part of a bid to overturn the suspension of Thomas' law license by the Alabama State Bar.
Clark dropped the attempt amid intense opposition by Thomas' prosecutors, who maintained that the men would be subjected to intimidation and harassment during the deposition sessions as Thomas looked on.
Prosecutors and defense lawyers said they're not concerned about finding a fair and impartial jury -- although they don't expect to encounter potential jurors who have never heard of the case.
Thomas, a former district judge in Mobile, moved up to the circuit bench in 1999. In 2007, he was suspended after being charged with state ethics violations. He resigned from the bench later that year once allegations of paddling inmates became public.

With the combined felonies charged, Thomas faces a possible life sentence if convicted.

What if his family is trying to break up your marriage?

2009-09-29T15:19:00.011-05:00

What do you do if his family is trying to drive you apart?

The following is a reader question that I have recently answered. She is ok with her question being used in the post as long as her name is not used. This is why she is being called: worried sick. This is a good example of a good man with a hard to deal with family. It's easy to say that you are marrying him and not his family, but for most ppl they WILL have to deal with the families of the men they marry. If any of you have had to deal with racist, or trouble making family members of husbands, -how did you handle it?-Was it a make or break factor in your marriage? Would you marry that person again knowing how his family would be? Read below and see the advice I gave to worried sick, then give your own opinions...

Hi Sara, I love your blog. I"m a 30+ yr old bw in my first IR. He's wonderful, and you are right about how much better life can be with a good man in it. Never have I been treated so well! And never have I been told that my dark, dark, dark skin is beautiful! I love it. The only problem between us is his family. They are the Beverly hillbillies without the new money! He's worked his way up to a good life from nothing and now they are hanging on with hands, feet, and any other body parts they can use to grasp! They are always in his ear trying to break us up (he's just asked me to marry him) and I was formerly ecstatic, but now they are trying everything in their hillbilly power to get him to go back to his old gf. You see she's white, and she's just like them-a broke ass country bumpkin trying to get over- He just shrugs them off, but I'm terrified he's going to cancel the wedding and run off with Sue Ellen Walton! (that's what I call this country wg) I'm at my wit's end. They hate me with a passion, not just because I'm black but because I'm educated, and 'don't know my place' (that's actually what they said-that I didn't know my place! To me, that's code word for: " That Negress don't seem t' know she's a darkay!! They keep telling him that white men don't belong with black women, and that our babies will be funny looking, and crazy. And that no white woman will ever want him again.

He says our kids will be beautiful if they look like me, but they might be crazy if they take after them! He's trying to use humor to lighten the situation, but I'm worried sick. he's told them to back off, and now he seems to be avoiding them, but won't that just hurt us in the end? I mean, I know he loves his family, what if he becomes resentful and feels that I caused him to lose his family? I just don't know what to do-I'm so confused and scared. All I really know is that I love him more than banana nut bread-and I don't want to lose him! please write back!!!

-Worried sick-

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Hi worried sick.

Sorry you're in such turmoil, but calm down, and I'll try and give you an honest and helpful answer. First of all, you need to ask yourself how close your fiance is to his family. Then ask him. really listen to what he says, and watch his body language. Are his shoulders 'drooping ' under the weight of this stress? Does he look close to tears? or are his shoulders back and squared-with chin set, and resolute? This is important because many times ppl will say one thing, and think another. It's very important that his body language is telling you that he intends to weather the storm no matter what his family says. But if he's looking down with a dejected, and sad expression, or indecisive look, then honestly I would take another look at the marriage. (to be). You really need to talk to him in depth about this, and make it clear that you cannot be around his family if they intend to continue this behavior. Be firm about this, but keep it respectful. Respect the fact that he loves his family, and wants them in his life. But the question is, will he put them in 'their place' and let them know that you are the woman he loves and intends to marry. It's also important that he makes it clear that disrespect toward you will NOT be tolerated. Unless he is willing to make this stand irrevocably, then the relationship will be in jeopardy. They don't have to like you. They may never like you, only time will tell. However; they must know that they cannot act any way they want, and that they're going to have to back off, and accept that you'll be his wife. You see you could beat your head against a wall complaining about them all day, and yield 0 results. The words MUST come from him to have the authority of consequence. In other words, they may not care that you're upset and angry, but if they really love him, the last thing they want is for HIM to be upset and angry. What they are doing is pushing to see how far they can go. When he puts his foot down, that will be considered the newly constructed benchmark of conduct toward you. This is why it is so important he puts his foot down from the start! Keep your head up, and let me know how everything goes..... -S

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R.E. WEALTH POST FROM late 2007.

Hey ladies and Gents. The reason I included this old wealth post is because I wanted you all to decide whether I was right or not. As you read the following post, you'll see that I made some coming predictions as to the state of RE, and how best to protect yourself. How many of you took me up on it?

Well, it's not too late, if you haven't, because this advice still holds! Read what I was saying then, and ask yourself if I was right or wrong.......

Post from Aug. 2007

.... Why do I keep posting about wealth? because most BW who are in IR are financially stable! They are calm and collected about their relationships because they can take care of themselves, so they can just relax and go find a good man with no problem. Ladies if you are focused on survival, you are NOT relaxed. You are upset, worried, constantly under stress. Your energy will not be loving, attracting and carefree. It will be stressed, worn out, and REPELLING! This is why taking charge of your finances is so incredibly important. And this is why I include wealth ideas.

URGENT!!!! Speaking of finances there is a tip I must give to my readers: Please take action on this information NOW!!! This is extremely important information - Please Listen carefully and ACT!!! Please do not say I did not warn you!

The ARM mortgages are Adjustable rate mortgages. Many people took these mortgages, because when they start out, they are cheaper than regular mortgages and they are far easier to qualify for. But it is a horrible trick!!! They (ARM Mortgages) are good for flips, that is property you intend to sell in a few years. They are horrible if you intend to LIVE in the property as your home!

Their interest rate is based on 1. Credit 2. Economy 3. Financial Solvency. What this means is that if the economy becomes embroiled in the need for more cash (LIKE A WAR) the rates will go up! If the institution which initiated them has solvency issues the rates will go up! If you have even one negative credit problems (and most people have many) The rates will go up! So what is the impact on the unsuspecting home owner? It means his/her house payments can easily DOUBLE!!! The ARM mortgages are escalating and will continue to escalate into astronomical figures in the next few years (3-5 years)causing a massive overturn of the housing market.

For the first time in history, millions of people will become vulnerable to losing their homes in record numbers. - Dr. Morris of Realty Consultants Inc.

Ladies: because of the war in Iraq, and because the banks are looking for a reason- almost any credit blunder you commit now will result in that Arm rate going up! Your payments will ascend in correlation to that rate and many people Will, over the next few years LOSE THEIR HOMES! Now is the time to start a business or squirrel away money or best yet: GET INTO REAL ESTATE! I know it sounds like taking advantage-but somebody is going to be grabbing these houses! If it is not you, it will be others! the best thing you can do for you and your family right now, is to GET INTO REAL ESTATE! This way you can not only position yourself not to lose your own home-you can get some of these houses that will be on the chopping block and help family members, who may be losing theirs!

Folks the market factors are indicating we are headed toward a recession-depression And with that being said: I would estimate that 5-7MILLION PEOPLE LOSING THEIR HOMES IN THE NEXT 3-5 YEARS!!! That means over the coming years MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WILL BE HOMELESS!!!

Do your own research, don't take my word for it. But please protect yourself ladies and your families! Black people are always the last to know because we major in the minors. We are busy gossiping and looking up who is dating who instead learning to invest, start businesses and get ahead. We must change for our own good. Please research this topic for yourself; and Then take action.

Do not bother writing me or trying to argue with me that this is not going to happen. It IS GOING TO HAPPEN! AND GETTING ANGRY AT ME WON'T STOP IT! Many people with ARM mortgages will find their house payment go up by 30-120%! Most people cannot afford that no matter how hard they work. The result will be a whole new class of HOMELESS IN THE COMING YEARS (mark my words!-and don't say you were not warned) The President will step in to help some of these people-but we all know who those people are, that he will help. (and they ain't US) Now is the time to protect yourself and your families. Tell your families to squirrel away money and get their credit together. If you can convert your ARM mortgage to a flat rate Do It NOW! The very best thing you could possibly do right now, is to learn Real Estate, like I said. You'll be a position to help many, many people preserve their homes or get another one when they are thrown out! I know sometimes people get scared and then get angry.

I am sorry but fear will not stop it. Anger will not stop it. You can spend your energy getting angry if you want, But someone else will spend their energy getting your home when it's in foreclosure! Take Action Now!!!!

3 WAYS TO GET HOMES NOW!!! (my readers only may email me with added questions)

The following are written in story form for easy comprehension. Just know that what someone else can do, you can do as well.

FIND THE HIDDEN ASSETS IN THE PROPERTY-THEN BUY!

Mike wanted to buy some farmland yet had very little cash. He did however, have a lot of ideas, and he had enough sense to know that if the idea is good, you can always get the cash. He looked around outside his city and decided to make a few offers. He had nothing to lose as all they could say was no. He did get a few nos because he asked for nothing down. Then when he kept thinking about it, his inner mind began to whisper answers to him (this happens all the time with you too, -you only have to listen) The next time, he went to look at some farmland, he proposed that he would pay 10.000 at the close of escrow. He also proposed (on paper) that he take immediate control of the property, including all responsibilities and Assets. He finally proposed that the property not close for 6 months. The owner was motivated. He wanted to go be with his daughter who was having a baby all alone, and since Mike agreed to take full responsibility for the property (and he had checked his references ) he felt he had nothing to lose. He happily agreed. Mike then set off to check the property. It was full of timber trees which were extremely valuable to the companies he contacted. They happily cleared the land for him and paid him so well for the trees, that by the time escrow cleared, he paid the 10.000 and still had almost 10.000 for himself. He got permission to parcel the land, and sold a few parcels, keeping the rest free and clear. This is the value of a good idea. However folks a good idea is worthless if you do not use it. Your subconscious is constantly trying to give you million dollar ideas. Unfortunately most folks just will not listen. They are too busy going to jobs they hate, and trying to survive....This idea can be used with any resource, wood, oil, coal, rents (apartment building) water, or even air (in NY the air rights are frequently sold to airlines) Use the cash from the assets for your down payments, and get yourself some property!

Use Sweat Equity -to get property!

Tom wanted to own property, any property. He was desperate to get his start in the RE game, yet he had no money. He walked around looking at addresses and wrote down the vacant, dilapidated, and neglected ones right around his apartment. He began to contact the owners, and found many who were desperate to get rid of their places. Many owners owned several places, so tom made deals with 5 owners to raise the value of their other properties (that they wanted to keep, or were not desperate to be rid of) in exchange for no down payments on the ones they were desperate to get rid of. He worked hard cleaning, painting, and repairing the properties they were keeping. and in exchange, at the end of a year tom owned not one but 5 properties! Now his were in dire need of work as well, but now that he was done with the others, he was able to concentrate and fix his own up. How many people at the end of this year will be no better off than they were at the end of last year? Begin to use your mind NOW to get rich. Your mind is the greatest computer in the world. stop using it to find some crappy job you'll hate, and use it to make you wealthy! there are young kids desperate for a job. They would be great at cleaning, painting, maybe even light repairs to some of these properties. You could negotiate with the owner to fix up properties and sell them -splitting the proceeds 50/50 ! There is no reason to ever struggle, use your mind to make you rich!

(NO money!) -SELL THE LEAD/AND PARTNER-

This technique was undertaken by a 13 year old boy, I am embarrassed to say. He went to a seminar with his parents on Real Estate. The boy took business cards from 5 people at the seminar. The next day he started to call (for rent ads ) in the paper. He found 2 owners who were so desperate to get rid of their properties that they virtually begged him to take them.(of course they did not know he was 13) He contacted a few of the people whose cards he had and they virtually threw money at him for the 'leads'. He sold both leads for 500.00 a piece. Yet now he had gotten a taste of the power of RE he had no intentions of taking 500.00 anymore. He wanted real money. So he teamed up with one of his 'card investors' and he (the investor) quickly taught him to put the houses under contract. The boy began to do just that. the investor would consummate the deal and they began to split the proceeds 50/50. The first year the boy cleared 80.000! Just by having the guts to do it. Do you think that if this kid can make 80 grand his first year, that you can't! Of course you can. There has never been a better time to be in RE. than now. Soon there will be people losing their homes left and right. You can set up a program to help them keep their homes, or buy them out so they won't walk away with nothing. Either way, while many in the US will be going broke and trying desperately to hold on to their house (which most will not be able to) Others will be becoming jaw-droppingly rich snatching those houses-which side will you be on? the next week, I will give you 3 more ways to get houses. Please take this advice and use it. The experts are predicting that soon America will be divided between the haves and the have nots (almost NO middle class) which do you want to BE? I want my readers to have the best life-I am not trying to scare you I just want you to be prepared, and to use this information to get rich and not to be on the streets! God bless-see you next post. PS if you use these techniques please tell us your experience so that other women may be helped. thank you

How ww are upheld, coveted, and protected...

2009-09-20T18:19:00.008-05:00

This is but a sample of what happened after the VMA's. Now I know you have all heard about the remarks Kanye made to Taylor Swift. It seemed to cause a national uproar. I thought his interruption, and remarks were trademarks of his arrogant nature. But that aside, besides being rude, I certainly didn't find it so newsworthy that the President should have been talking about it! For those of you who don't know, Pres. Barack actually called Kanya a jackass for the remarks! Now I'm just wondering. But is this the same President who has nothing about the bw being raped, mutilated, and murdered in the Congo? Is this the same President who remained mute when Pastor jerk-off called his wife ugly, and his momma a hoe? I'm just wondering because I have a really hard time holding my tongue at times, as y'all already know that. But I just cannot understand for the life of me why he would concern himself with kanye being rude to a pretty white teenager, yet have nothing to say about issues that that soooooo much more relevant? Like Hovey Street, Dunbar Village, Congo, bw street harassment, the Mayor who insists on shutting down low income daycare centers so that mothers who are single parents are losing their jobs due to lack of adequate daycare etc, etc, etc! BTW, Zabeth, I definitely owe you an apology about the President girl- You were right, and I was wrong! (you know what I'm talking about...)

Why is a pretty white girl attracting national attention over a silly remark by an arrogant man? This is exactly what I mean when I say ww are on a pedestal. Now don't get me wrong. Since I'm a country music fan, I've been aware of TS probably before many of you. And I like her. She's sweet, and a good (not great) singer, and has a big heart. I definitely felt Kanye should have apologized. But I don't think his career should have been (and possible still is ) in jeopardy over that silly remark. Everyone was talking about it! I turned to 10 stations the night it happened and it was on all of them! People were demanding that he be banned, and boycotted, and everyone was coming to her rescue! You would have thought he walked up to her and slapped her the way ppl reacted! This is ww on the pedestal Ladies-in case you wondered what it looked like in action. Remember when Don Imus (who looks like a horse) called the girls basketball team of bw, nappy headed, ugly hoes? Did you see even 1/10 as much anger as you did when one ww was insulted? Remember when stupid ass DL hughley agreed with him, and said on national tv, "Well... yeah, they was some ugly ass women!" Remember how angry bw were and demanded that he apologize. Remember how he blatantly refused-and yet his career went on. Remember the ignorant Wayans brother also calling bw names including the first lady whom he addressed as an " ugly dark woman" did you hear a fervor over that? Did you see anyone rushing to end his career or make him take it back?

Then think about Dr Dre. This man took issue with a bw reporter having an interview with Ice cube. (who had left NWA on a sour note) He and his posse of woman-beaters apparently felt that this reporter had no business giving their (now enemy) an interview. They were also angry about the tone of the interview, and the things she 'allowed' this grown man to say. When Dr Dre saw her at an after hours party weeks later. He promptly commenced to jump on this young lady like she was a man and beat her up and down the hall! He kicked, punched, and stomped this girl, and even tried to throw her down the steps! NO ONE CAME TO HER DEFENSE -INCL. HIS CREW WHO STOOD ON THE SIDELINE, AND CHEERED HIM ON! She got away at one point, and ran into the ladies bathroom, but he stormed in and proceeded to pound her head into the concrete wall! She barely escaped with her life, and yet very little was heard of the horrendous attack on a woman by a man twice her size!!! His crew said repeatedly afterwards "B--ch got what she deserved! " This is the way bw are treated- hardly a peep from anyone, yet EVERYONE seems to be up in arms because a wg was rudely treated at an awards show! Dr Dre later had to pay an undisclosed amount of money yet, never apologized or showed any remorse, and his undeserved career went on!!!

Yet you can best believe Kanye KNEW his career was in jeopardy if he didn't take his remarks back about the wg!

Even Taylor herself has said: "I was shocked at how many people had my back! I got letters, phone calls, emails etc full of support-I couldn't believe how many people were looking out for me!"

I'm not really surprised so many people were looking out for her. After all she's a young Becky in America. That's something that's always held in high esteem, and protected. But in her case she's also famous, rich (or soon will be) and has a definite vulnerability to her persona. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I think ww should not be protected, because that is NOT what I am saying at all. I merely think that the protection and pedestal should extend to ALL women be they Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Black etc. I don't think it should only make National news when a ww is missing or insulted. I think the privilege should extend to everyone. I keep wondering what would have happened had he made the remark to Beyonce about Taylor instead of the other way around. Do you think there would be half this much anger and uproar???? Think about it.....

The feminization of bm, and how it impacts BW....

2009-09-14T01:03:00.007-05:00

I want you ladies to read the following article by a bm columnist. His POV seems to be more and more popular among many bm today. He seems to feel that it's a woman's place to fight for a man, and to uplift a man, and to protect a man. I find this mode of thinking, not only repulsive, but disheartening. But ask yourself something. If you have to provide, protect, and fight for the man-then what do you need HIM for???........

Written by Darryl James, (Columnist),
I think that it is sad indeed that R Kelly’s case is being compared to the Mike Tyson rape conviction. In that case, I still maintain that Tyson was also a victim, not just the woman who allowed him to perform oral sex on her while menstruating and then emerged from a locked bathroom with a phone to continue engaging with her “attacker.” Muddied and confusing.
Do I think R Kelly is guilty? The answer is: “Does it matter?” I ask if it matters because out of all the positions that people hold, few want to take the position I hold, which is that if Kelly is to be held accountable, then other people, including the women who enabled him must be held accountable as well.
How about Sparkle, the young girl’s aunt, who allegedly served her up in order to get Kelly’s support for her own music career?
How about the girl’s parents who failed miserably as parents and had no idea what a freak their little girl had become? Why was a thirteen-year-old girl alone with a grown man? Why was she having sex like a Porn Star? Is all of that Kelly’s fault?
How about a society that allows and even encourages young girls to dress and act like adult hookers and then flashes righteous indignation when grown men look and interact with those young girls inappropriately?
There are plenty of young girls with super tight clothing pushing and pressing sexual flesh into the public eye and there is no moral outrage over it. In fact, when I wrote about it in this column, some ignorant a**head Feminazis accused me of hating women and being a sexist for my own moral outrage. Go figure.
You see, there are a lot of people who enable the abuse of Black women, including some Black women. It’s counterintuitive and counterproductive to lay the blame squarely at the feet of Black men or to ever claim that Black men fail to protect Black women and yet expect Black men to lead in the protection of anyone, when many members of that group fail to protect themselves.
It’s like Black people supporting the Wayans family, Martin Lawrence, Flavor Flav or many of the Buffoonish Black Coons of Comedy and rap sellouts who make Black people look bad on the world stage and then expecting White people to protect our image.
If you want respect, you must first respect yourself.
And, it’s difficult for Black women to make demands of Black men, when far too many Black women are far too willing to toss Black men under the bus for personal gain or for nothing at all.
This includes the proliferation of the Down Low myth, propagated by Black women more than anyone; the myth of more Black men being in prison than college and the ever-popular claim of Black men’s undying love and lust for White women. All popular myths that fall from the lips of Black women more than any other group of people in this nation.
The ignorant bag of crap JL King has recently released a DVD designed to educate people on how to recognize a Down Low Black man. Instead of challenging this a**hole to do some real research or shut up, many Black women are passing his promotions around as though he is speaking from the Bible.
So, before we get to shaming Black men into standing up for Black women more than Black women are apparently willing to stand up for themselves, we must address the question of why too many Black women fail to stand up for their brothers, sons and husbands.
Really, we must ask ourselves: who’s hating whom?
Do Black women hate Black men?

But, really, let’s go back to the R. Kelly case and examine some of the messages that came from it.
What we heard from many of the Black women who were outraged over Kelly’s acquittal is that Black men fail to protect Black women and girls, particularly from the oversexualization of modern entertainment.
But what we did not hear was that the same oversexualization of modern entertainment adversely affects Black men and boys. It’s as though having young Black boys growing up watching themselves marginalized as hungry sexual animals doesn’t do damage to their psyche or sense of self-worth.
Or it’s as though no one cares, because the focus has been on saving and/or protecting Black girls.
If Black women can challenge Black men to protect Black women and girls, then why is it wrong to challenge Black women to protect Black men and boys?
Why do people want to view the young girl in the R Kelly sex tape who was overly comfortable getting freaky with a grown man as a victim, but not the grown man who is sick enough to be sexually drawn to young girls?
Wasn’t R Kelly once a child? And if he is damaged, wasn’t he damaged as a young Black boy? Even if no one cares about him, what about other Black males like him?
I already know the answer. Damn the male, save the female. Really, we should be concerned about both males and females.
But, sadly, we see far too much focus on the uplift of Black women and girls, as opposed to Black people.
For example, organizations such as Black Girls Rock exist to raise the self-esteem of Black girls, where we used to be concerned about the condition of all Black children. Why wasn’t the organization named Black Children Rock? And why is their propaganda only aimed at getting people to view Black girls in a different light?
Ashley Dunn, a board member of that organization draws a clear line in the sand.
“The type of education Black women and Black men have had about the importance of Black women has been pretty much non-existent, and what they have seen hasn’t been positive,” said Dunn. “With that in mind, why would anyone get upset about a Black girl being abused and urinated on? She was nothing anyway, and that is how both women and men feel in our community.”
Really? Are Black girls being abused and devalued or are Black children—male and female—being abused and devalued?
Where is the education about the importance of Black men? Isn’t much of what we see negative?
In nearly every corner, young Black boys are being devalued. They are told that they are destined to be gang members, drug dealers, prisoners above college students, harbingers of AIDS, lovers of White women and haters of Black women.
And, in efforts to protect Black women and girls, Black men and boys are typically thrown under the bus as the perpetrators of all things bad and absent from all things good in the Black community.
What the hell does that do to the psyche and self-esteem of Black boys? Where is the outrage? Particularly since some of that anti-Black male propaganda comes from Black women? If Black men and boys are doing so horribly in society, why then are there no Herculean efforts to save them? And why are there so many Black women telling us how horrible we are?
We hear far too many stories of single Black mothers telling their Black male children that their destiny is to become the same kind of garbage as their father who abandoned them. Talk to Black men who were educated in public schools and you will hear plentiful stories of how they were devalued by Black female educators.............

He goes on to whine about his own childhood, and how he felt neglected and tossed away by bw educators. But my question is quite simple-really. Do you hear what I hear? This so-called man WHINING like a little girl, while making excuses for the most deplorable behavior a human being can engage in (sexual predatorship of young children) And actually having the temerity to say things like:

" How about the girl’s parents who failed miserably as parents and had no idea what a freak their little girl had become? Why was a thirteen-year-old girl alone with a grown man? Why was she having sex like a Porn Star? Is all of that Kelly’s fault?How about a society that allows and even encourages young girls to dress and act like adult hookers and then flashes righteous indignation when grown men look and interact with those young girls inappropriately? " Unbelievable!! He is actually excusing a child molester because the child was dressed sexy!!! When I think about men like this, I'm sick to my stomach. It does not matter how the child was dressed. It does not matter how much she came on to him in her messed up little state. What matters is that R Kelly is a GROWN MAN!! and HE alone, is responsible for HIS actions!!! I am so tired of ppl making excuses for the most horrific behavior, esp. as it relates to bm. BM are not programmed puppets. (unless they decide to be) Bm are real live thinking human beings with minds of their own. Now if they choose not to use those minds, and play victim all their lives, that is certainly their choice. But it does not negate the fact, that they COULD have used those minds at any given moment. The more ppl make excuses for bm, the worse off they will be. the world already sees them as fools who lack the mental capacity to take responsibility, and yet they insist on putting their heads in the sand, and playing victim. As for the ridiculous question of why don't more bw fight for their husbands, and brothers etc. I have to wonder if this man is on drugs! Why would we as women jump out there and fight for a bunch of grown men who are perfectly capable of fighting for themselves?? It is NOT a woman's job to fight for a man! Ladies if you have been force fed this lie, spit it out right now! A man's job is to fight for himself! The more I hear some of these whining men talk, the more disgusted I feel. They sound just like little girls. "why is no one worried about me? Why is no one fighting for me, why are I being held accountable for something I couldn't even help! She came onto me!" It's really quite disturbing to hear grown men whine like this. And the fact that more and more bm have jumped on the victim bandwagon, only serves to further sully their tarnished image. Even if a man is knocked down, if he has strength left in his body, he gets up and tries to move on.... He does not lay on the ground like a patsy, and cry for WOMEN to come to his aid! Let me tell you something ladies, the more womanish, the man is - the more mannish, he'll want, and need you to be. You see, someone has to be the man and someone has to be the woman ( You'll see this dynamic play out even in gay couples) and if he's acting like the woman, then he'll try to get you to be the man. Even while he's complaining to everyone who'll listen, that you won't let him be the man!! What we are seeing with bm is a slow feminism taking place. Think of men you know who engage in the following behaviors

1. wearing more jewelry than you

2. standing on the corner all day, instead of working

3. trying to get you to buy him a drink-instead of vice-versa

4. letting their wives or live ins work, while they chase tail all day

5. getting their hair done at actual beauty shops, and on a reg. basis.

6. Asking you to buy him things, a man normally buys for himself!

7. Using his woman's car because he does not have one!

8. Living with his woman, because he has no home of his own

9. Still living with his momma, and putting his name on the OJ

10. Whining about having to support HIS OWN children!

11. Asking you why a bill has not been paid!

12. Instead of real dates, he wants you to cook and serve at your house

13. Going shopping on family money instead of paying bills

14 Asking you to keep working when you're 8 months pregnant!!

I used these examples because I actually know women who put up with all the above situations. I even know one adult woman who is 8 months pregnant right now, works 2 jobs, and has to rush home in between jobs to fix a meal for her sorry husband! She has swollen ankles, is in a lot a pain, and cries alot. Yet, she never tells the dead beat where to go. She simply talks about how hard life is for the bm. I guess she forgets that as a bw, her life is not exactly easy either! (SMH) But the point is, the reason so many bm claim to want a strong black woman, is so that they can be the weak black man! Don't be fooled ladies. Men like these, are about as useful to you as a hole in the head. They are a dead end drain. A parasitic organism that is trying to live off your host body. Get out your pocket knife and scrape them off. Then watch as they writhe in agony. You see they need to feed off of you. They have no survival mechanisms in place should you discard them, this is why they will fight tooth and nail to keep you from detaching yourself. But allowing them to continue feeding, is slowly rendering you ill. You must get rid of them! When you hear a man talking like the man above, give him a wide girth. Don't bother arguing as they are incapable of seeing any side but their own. Simply refuse to be involved with such nonsense. Tell him that your number 1 priority is yourself and not the po wittle bm! Watch him fall to the floor in fits of rage and shock. Then quietly step over his still twitching body, and go handle your business......

BEWARE! - The man who cannot control himself, is a mentally Impotent, and dangerous fool!!!

2009-09-04T12:59:00.015-05:00

Travis Henry with some of his children............

Ladies sorry this post is so late, but whew! My son is taking alot out of me!

It's been a long time between babies, and I had forgotten how much work, and time they take. But on to business.....

I'd like to use the following man as a demonstration of a benevolent fool. Now Travis Henry SEEMS like a nice man. He's smiling, and cordial, but he is an absolute FOOL!. At the time this article was written in March of 09, He had 9 children by nine different women. Well as of now, he now has 11 children-because another woman recently had twins for him! Read the following article, and then we'll talk.......

" Only God can judge me." says Travis Henry.

Travis Henry, who apparently is giving Shawn Kemp a run for his money as the newest punchline when it comes to fathering kids out of wedlock. As you read in the headline, Henry has fathered nine kids to nine different women in four different states. Luckily for Henry, he was signed to a five-year deal with $12 million guaranteed, meaning he should have no problem paying the child support. Or so you would think.
[Judge Clarence] Seeliger wrote that the football player displayed “bad judgment in his spending habits,” dropping $100,000 for a car and $146,000 for jewelry. Meanwhile, Henry fell behind on support payments for his child with [Jameshia] Beacham that were mandated by a previous order. Threatened with jail, he borrowed $9,800 from his former team, the Tennessee Titans, to pay the bill, according to court records.…[Henry's lawyer Shiel] Edlin, though, said Henry collected much less than $1 million after taxes, and he said much of it went to debts. “He doesn’t have any money,” Edlin said. “The guy has significant financial issues.”

Super Bowl XLIII Scoreboard Travis Henry owes $170,000 annually in support of his children, his lawyer estimated.
I know what you all are thinking — you’d love to have the type of financial issues that come from signing a multi-million dollar contract, right? Yeah, me too. But just goes to show — don’t be a fool, wrap your tool. OK?
This was no simple task. Henry, 30, a former N.F.L. running back who played for three teams from 2001 to 2007, All nine children have been sired by 9 different mothers...
Reports of Henry’s prolific procreating, generated by child-support disputes, have highlighted

how futile the N.F.L.’s attempts can be at educating its players about making wise choices. The disputes have even eclipsed the attention he received after he was indicted on charges of cocaine trafficking.
“They’ve got my blood; I’ve got to deal with it,” Henry said of fiscal responsibilities to his children. He spoke by telephone from his Denver residence, where he was under house arrest until recently for the drug matter.
Henry had just returned from Atlanta, where a judge showed little sympathy for his predicament during a hearing and declined to lower monthly payments from $3,000 for a 4-year-old son.
Three days after the telephone interview, he was jailed for falling $16,600 behind on support for a youngster in Frostproof, Fla., his hometown.
“I love all my kids,” he said in the interview, but asserted he could not afford the designated amounts, estimated at $170,000 a year by Randy Kessler, his Atlanta lawyer. Kessler said Henry was virtually broke.
“I’ve lost everything in this mess I’ve gotten myself into,” Henry said.
His eldest child was conceived while Henry was in high school, before he was named Mr. Florida Football and a Parade All-American. The child was unplanned as were all but one of his offspring, he said.
“I’m like, ‘Whoa, I’m going to be a dad,’ ” Henry recalled.
He was wed, at 19, to another of the nine mothers, who was six years older. Henry’s mother, who picked oranges for a living, disapproved.
“She was going crazy over it,” Henry said. He added that he filed for annulment within a year “for her.”
Two relationships while he attended the University of Tennessee produced two more children. Attending the annual N.F.L. rookie symposium as a 2001 draft pick of the Buffalo Bills, Henry watched a skit that dramatized the repercussions of imprudent sexual activity. It might as well have been geared toward him.
Henry laughed through the sketch. “I thought, ‘That ain’t ever going to happen to me,’ ” he said.
But it had, and it was just beginning.
Henry maintained that he was involved long-term with many of the mothers. Some, he said, told him they were using birth control, and he professed surprise at discovering they became pregnant by him.
“I did use protection at first,” he said. “Then they’d be saying they’d be on the pill. I was an idiot to trust them. Second or third time with them, I didn’t use it. Then, boom!”
In four instances, he attested, “I was trapped.” If not for his football cachet and accompanying wealth, “I guarantee you that wouldn’t have happened.”
“My counselor asks me, ‘How can you do the same thing over and over?’ ” he said, unable to provide an answer.
“Knock on wood, or something, I’m blessed not to have AIDS. That never crossed my mind.”
Henry declined to discuss aspects of his drug case. He was arrested last fall in Colorado with another man and has pleaded not guilty to charges that could net him 10 years to life in prison if convicted. The arraignment is scheduled for next month.
At the latest child-support hearing in Atlanta, Henry testified vaguely that sizable cash withdrawals were connected to his criminal matter, not to any conspicuous consumption for himself.
In an interview, Robert Wellon, the lawyer who represents the mother in Atlanta, Jameshia Beacham, characterized Henry as spending “like there was no tomorrow,” thus depriving the children of money.
The Denver Broncos gave Henry a five-year, $25 million contract in 2007. Cut last year by the team, which cited injuries and off-the-field commotion, he received only $6.7 million.
Piling on to the child-support issues, Henry failed an N.F.L. drug test. He successfully appealed, avoiding suspension, but faced another penalty from the league for what he said was missing subsequent test dates. Though Henry insisted his body has three more seasons in it, his quandary all but dooms any chance of his suiting up again.
Henry is seeking to modify child-support obligations. Some mothers and their lawyers will have none of that, saying he has squandered a small fortune on luxuries like cars and jewelry.
“I feel sorry for the guy, trust me,” Wellon said. “On the other hand, when you take those kind of actions, there are consequences. He could have taken care of the money.”

Update Henry now has 11 children. A new woman has just given birth to twins! So now this fool has 11 children by 10 women, and is under federal indictment for cocaine charges! When will the idiocy end????

Ladies, the difference between an evil malicious, using man, and one who just happens to be a fool is only a difference of intent. Now, the evil, malicious man may intentionally use you, and cause you to cry buckets of tears, but the Benevolent fool causes his own brand of pain. ANY of these women could have caught numerous diseases from this man who was too stupid and irresponsible to use condoms. NONE of these children have a father of their own, they must share him with 9 other households!! This man can brag about dropping 250 thousand dollars on jewelry, yet can not afford 170 thousand per YEAR in child support!!! To be honest, I almost feel sorry for this him. He's so lacking in self control, yet I honestly feel like he wants to be a good father to his children and do the right thing, yet he cannot seem control his actions. And therein lies the crux of the problem. It does not matter how much someone may WANT to do the right thing, if they cannot get themselves to DO the right thing! Ladies when you see men who are financially, or sexually irresponsible -RUN! There is nothing you can do to help him, and he will only bring you down-regardless of intent. Because in the long run, he will follow the path of least resistance and show that he is morally, mentally, and willfully lacking. And a man like this is of no use to any woman who has her head on straight. This man looks very physically strong, but it does not matter because mentally, he's as weak as a kitten. Look at his track record:

He lacks the strength to insist on condoms when he's in heat.

He repeatedly (not once or twice) but continuously engages in unprotected sex with random women.

Some of his children are MONTHS apart!!! He's been cited repeatedly for engaging in drug use by his team, then was shocked when he was finally dismissed for repeated violations..

He ended his first marriage because his -orange picking mother objected to it!

He's under federal indictment now due to his ongoing drug charges, as well as being under the constant threat of jail regarding child support issues, and what does he do? He finds another woman and has more babies that he cannot afford!

You can see by his example that some men are their own worst enemy. But the reason I use him as an example is because when you see ppl who cannot control themselves in such serious matters -steer clear! Whatever issues they have will surely be visited upon you.

A man who cannot control his sexually is a very dangerous being. Even if he does not mean to be. He will engage in all manner of sexually dangerous liaisons, and then fall back on the excuse that the women threw themselves at him. (as if that matters!) Always remember ladies, a man should be in control of 3 things:

1. His mind. He should continually learning, reading, striving to know and understand his world, and the people in it whom he has to interact with...Never give too much time to a man who shows no interest in further learning and growing because he'll be left behind the times, and so will his bank account!

2. His body. He should take the best care of his body he can. Including food, exercise, and careful scrutiny of any substance he might ingest. Alcohol and smoking (are a definite no no in my book-but if it does not bother you then... ) Illegal drugs should get him thrown out of your life, without even a good bye! I would NEVER have people in my life who indulged in illegal drugs, and I strongly suggest you ladies adopt the same policy.

Forget trying to save a brotha. If he's on drugs, (and even if he's not) let him save himself -or perish!

3. His life. Now of course, life is not always controllable, but we certainly have alot more control than most people think. Most people do not get what they want out of life, because they are not working for anything. You can easily see what people will become in life by watching what they are doing in their 'off' time. Your man should have SOME type of dream-he is working toward, even if it's just a promotion. He should be looking for ways to make life better for your family. That's what a man does....

But a man like T.H. is very common in the bc. Here is a man who is very talented, and in his case, even well meaning. Yet he does not have the mental fortitude to control his own actions-and is a slave to his impulses, both physical and sexual. He will probably end up broken, bitter, alone, and financially destitute. I hope I'm wrong because I really believe he loves his kids, and wants to change. But I don't think he has the patience to do the work required to bring the changes about. ... But the point is: That men must be held accountable for their actions, and they must have control of themselves, lest they mess up their own lives and YOURS......

The impact of more and more WM showing an open attraction for BW!!

2009-08-21T09:44:00.010-05:00

Some very prominent white men are letting their love/ attraction for their black mates/wives be known, this is becoming increasingly common.....

Many people wonder what will happen when wm and bw come together in numbers too large to ever ignore . As more and more wm show their attraction for bw, many ppl still bury their heads in the sand, and pretend it is not happening. This is amazing to me.

It's also amazing to me how many wm openly pursue bw, yet many bw still think wm only want them for sex! I find this incredible, because it's mainly bm telling bw this. Yet, we can all see that sex is predominantly a bm's reason for pursuing ANY woman. But especially bw! The OOW rate for bw is over 70% with the vast majority of those babies belonging to black men! So does it look like they were pursuing these women to marry them? Do you think these women WANTED to be single mothers and struggle alone?

Ladies, learn to reason and think for yourselves. If wm only want you for sex, and marriage is not a consideration, then first of all bw/wm marriages would not be undergoing a 170% increase. They are actually growing faster than any other IR union! And second of all, if that were the primary and singular point in their pursuit, then ask yourself, why would black men care!!! Seems to me they wouldn't. After all that's what they themselves have been using bw for for decades. And they never warn bw against other bm, who are 'using them' . Yet they constantly break their necks to warn bw against wm 'using them'. Lets apply a little logic here.

They are certainly not warning bw out of any legitimized 'concern' for these women. For we've all seen them leave bw out there hanging, time and again. We've seen them harass bw, trying to walk down the street. Call bw filthy names for daring to ignore them. We've seen them refuse to call the police or intervene when bw were being attacked. Even watch and laugh as their fellow brothers used, lied to, manipulated, and hurt bw, and I've even seen them laugh at the poor fatherless, suffering children who resulted from the mother's involvement with these man-boys. But the minute a wm steps to a bw, then they want to rush in, and warn her!!! Give me a break-does anyone else see the writing on the wall?

They are not operating from an altruistic, compassionate, legitimate concern. They are acting on their worst fears. Secretly, they know That WM DO want bw!! They see the tide turning, and it's unfathomable to them. The same women they've been calling nappy-headed, ugly, fat, gross, dark-butt, and a host of other demeaning terms, are being snatched up, and adored by wm, who think these women are marriage-worthy and beautiful. Sometimes I almost feel sorry for bm. It must be sooooo exhausting to carry the yoke of self hatred around with you day in and day out. And it must be so confusing to be so programmed and weak that racist whites can tell you that your female counterparts are ugly, and you accept, and embrace it. You don't even have the inner convictions, and fortitude to judge for yourself. You simply accept what some racist, with a hidden agenda, has told you. How sad is that?

I previously told you all about how in Kailua Intermediate (Hawaii) I was in the class with a bb bully named Andre. His mom was Hawaiian, and his father was black. I'll never forget how he tortured us black girls because he despised blackness so much. Since I was dark brown, I caught much of his venom, but one girl caught the most because she was jet black. But the thing is, I could see right through him. He looked at us, and saw HIMSELF!!! He hated himself, and that's why he raged at us. He hated that his mom was married to a black man. It was obvious, he desperately wished she'd married a white one. As much as I hated him, I pitied him even more.

I knew he was miserable in his own skin! I remember he made life unbearable us bg's until a new boy named Loafie came to class. He was big, handsome Samoan boy, and he thought bgs were beautiful. He fell hard for the jet black girl, and when Andre called her a nappy headed, jungle bunny. It was on. Loafie beat him so bad, he was out a week, and when he returned, he never said another word to any of us.... But my point is, do you know the other bbs in the class (3) had never said a word the whole time!!! Many times the jet black girl had gone home crying, and they had never said a word.......

This goes on into adulthood as well. Many bw think wm cannot possibly find them attractive because they have been told that they are too black, and the only ppl who can be considered attractive when they are too black, is bm. This is bull. There is no such thing as too black, first of all. Skin is beautiful in ALL shades! Apparently alot of wm agree with me. I have noticed that many wm seem to gravitate toward darker bw. In HS, many wb's told me how lovely they thought I was. Which was weird when you consider how many bb's told me: "You're pretty for a dark girl" or " "you'd be prettier if you weren't so dark". Luckily for me, I came from a family that thinks dark skin is gorgeous, so my self esteem was intact, and I always knew I was hearing the voice of self hatred in these young men. Therefore, I discounted everything they said, and focused on simply loving me. It's so sad that some bw who reside in the bc, will never be told that they are pretty ESP. If they are dark, with less than Euro features. Trust me, I've lived amongst whites for the vast majority of my life, and many, many wm find bw appealing. But as more and more wm show an attraction for bw, I think it will become increasingly obvious to bw that they have been sold a false bill of goods by bm. I think bw will realize that they are, and were ALWAYS attractive, and that they do NOT have to put up with the mess, they've been putting up with for so long. Not by bm, or bm -protectors. I think the impact will be more and more women jumping ship, and swimming away as fast as their worn and weary legs will carry them. I think the impact will be other wm realizing that bw are finally opening the ports to love in all forms, and 'snatching up' these women with a gusto. I think the impact will be many more biracial children, and ppl won't automatically say to these children: "So, your mommy's white, and your daddy's black huh?" I think the impact will be many more sistas with ear to ear smiles and a rested PEACEFUL look on their faces. I think the impact will be more and more bw feeling free not to over-press, and over-perm their hair to get the 'look' that bm deem acceptable. I think the impact will be more and more bw refusing to be the mammy mule any longer, and demanding ALL men either show and prove they are worthy, or leave. I think the impact will be bm finally losing their 'kickstand' and being forced to stand on their own two feet, and black women who finally know excitement, appreciation, joy-unabashed, love, and marriage. The simple love of a husband coming home, seeing you tired, and offering to go get Chinese food. Or looking over, and seeing your blond husband happily doing your baby's hair-and watching her smile up at her daddy. Or the car breaking down, and being able to pick up the damn phone and say: "Honey, come get us, the car broke down!' So many sistas have no idea how good life can be when you have a good man to share it with. Not a parasite, who's sponging off of you, and sucking the life out of you, and depending on you to do everything for him. But a real man to lighten the load. Someone who can give you the freedom to be a WOMAN- because he has taken the responsibility of being a MAN!! I think the impact of wm showing their attraction for bw can only lead to better and better things for bw and children all around the land...........

Why bw MUST use the gift of fear, and instincts for protection against predators....

2009-08-14T01:45:00.015-05:00

One potent weapon I think we women must always use, is our instincts. I really can't count the number of times, my instincts have saved me. But I will recount 3 for you. Not all were life saving. Sometimes they were simply soul-saving. But I was saved nevertheless....

I remember years ago living on Kaneohe bay in Hawaii years ago. I was 12 yrs old when we moved there, and almost 16 when we left. My dad was in the Corps. and he got orders to report there. I had to be physically forced onto the plane because I did not want to leave the most important person in my young life _my grandmother. She was my rock, and I loved her very deeply. As soon as we got there, my mom made it her mission to find a black church so that she would feel at home. It was quite difficult, as there were many bp, but few blk churches there at the time. `

Anyway, the church my mom picked advocated this bm are kings nonsense. They constantly had celebrations in which the bm were called to the front of the church and adorned with fake crowns and applauded (for doing nothing) and they would tell the church if their wives had been good wives or not! The women were strongly encouraged to do ANYTHING their husbands wanted and to not speak unless spoken too! I remember even as a young girl being floored by this chauvinism. I could not wrap my mind around the fact, that the women went along with this. Even at that time, many of these women had jobs and worked very hard. Then to come home only to be expected to cook, do ALL the chores,including caring for their children, but to not be allowed to be an equal partner in the marriage! I knew I could never settle for that. Also I hated the way every man in the church was brother this and brother that, and we, (my friends and I) even as young bgs were expected to listen to what they said. My mother told me to forget that rule, but she kept going to this church, and dragging us along with her. (Probably because blk churches were rare out there ) Anyway, my mother constantly warned me to follow my own mind and not to simply believe what someone tells me. She taught me to listen to my gut. She always said -your inner self will tell you if you will only listen. She said you will feel the alarm bells in your midsection, and to always listen, because it knew more than you ever would. That advice has truly saved me many times. In fact too many times to count.

For instance. One summer in Hawaii, our church decided to have a retreat at a local hotel. The young people were strongly encouraged to go. My 3 best friends were going, so I immediately wanted to go too. I begged until my mom gave in. But she was not happy. She told me later, she knew something was amiss. When we got to the retreat, Brother Duwalt, Brother Stegich, and Brother Owens were there already. They were all grown, 24-28) Now, my friend Kim had a crush on Bro. Owens. Even though he was 28 and we were 13. I even called myself having a crush on Bro. Duwalt. I thought he was cute, and I flirted with him a little. But I knew he was way too old for me, and that it could never progress beyond a crush. I just enjoyed whispering about how cute he was, and the like. Well the first night we got there, he asked me to go in the back garden with him. Kim, Yolanda, and Carrie (my friends) immediately began to giggle and told me to go. But suddenly my stomach began to feel weird and crazy. I told him I would go to the back porch only. We went to the back porch (which was too dark for my taste) and he began to tell me how lovely he thought I was. He said Kim had told him, I had a crush on him, and that he wanted to "show me love" I stared at him in disbelief. I was sure he wanted to tell me that I was just a child and that I should save my crushes for someone my own age, and instead this damaged man was trying to grind his disgusting self into my body, and seduce me! I jerked away and looked up at him. I said: "You do realize I'm 13 right? " He smiled a snake smile and leered. " Age is just a number baby-the lord told me to pluck the fruit of the young-and so here I am" With that he grabbed my breast, and kissed me roughly, not caring that I was hysterical, and trying to pull away. I balled my fist and punched him between the legs. He let out a strangled cry and sunk to the floor, I ran back into the hotel crying, and called my mom. My mom yanked us from that church, and was immediately black balled by all the ppl in the church. They said that her hell- raising daughter had attacked a good and faithful brother of the church, and that she had refused to discipline me. Her best friend told her that she should be ashamed of herself and that brother duwalt, was a 'good man' ......She also allowed Brother Owens to come see Kim (Her daughter) anytime day or night. Because he was a man of the church, so he was 'a good man' She called my mom horrible names and said that she had a b*tch for a daughter. She and my mom never spoke again until 2 yrs later when her husband beat her to a pulp for burning his dinner, and no one at the church would let her hide from him at their houses. They said she must have deserved it, and she should be woman enough to deal with her 'punishment'. Meantime, her daughter, (my friend Kim) also became pregnant by 'good man'- Brother Owens, who was 30. Kim was 15!

Kim told me later, both she and her mother were paraded through the church as sinning whores, and everyone took up a sympathy offering for her FATHER- for having a disobedient wife and a whore for a daughter! Brother Owens was never called out on his abysmal behavior. When he found out Kim was pregnant, he promptly married his white girlfriend, and disappeared from the Island.. Brother Duwalt was later sentenced for several crimes including contributing to the delinquency of a minor (he was messing with several young girls) But I was saved from being used and tossed away by him because I had followed my gut.....

I'll give you another example of this power saving me. A while ago. I went to a mac (inside the bank) late at night. You know the kind you put your card in, to get in. Most ppl will wait outside if there's only one person inside at night. (So as not to spook that person) Anyway, I usually try to go during the day, but I got caught up, and had to go a bit late. I had about 800.00 in my purse, and I was debating how much to put in the bank, and how much to keep for the weekend. Anyway, I was the only one in there so I was taking my time and counting it out. I decided to keep half and put the other half in the bank. As I filled out the envelope, I heard the door clink open. I lifted my hand to close the envelope containing the 400.00, but as I started to seal it, my stomach began to physically roll back and forth like ocean waves. At the same time, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I could feel evil coming at me in droves. Before I had time to think my hands took a life of their own, and shoved ALL the money into the envelope, and without bothering to adjust the amount shoved it into the bank machine. I was shocked at myself because I had planned to keep half. But as I turned around, there was an enormous black woman standing very closely behind me. She was glaring at me with small hate-filled eyes. She quickly scanned my hands for the money I had just deposited. I could feel the hatred and evil rolling off of her. Her lips pulled back in an cold sneer.

"Ya gots sum muny to help a sista out?" She demanded, in a voice that reminded me of death.

" Sorry," I told her, as I fled out the door. "The bank has it" With that, I was gone. As I got in my car, I had to take several deep breaths. I don't have any proof, but I 'KNOW' that if I had turned with any money in my hands, that woman would have attacked me to get it, and who knows what kind of weapons she had. It was one of those things you can't *prove*-but you just KNOW....

The final example I'll give is one from a few years ago. One of my Aunts had gone down South and married some man she'd met in college. I tried to be supportive of her marriage because my family was not. When she brought Steve home however, he proved to be a charmer, and soon had everyone eating out of his hands. She seemed happy enough, but something about her husband rubbed me the wrong way. I could not put my finger on it, so I chalked it up to an over active imagination, until something happened. They had been here for almost a year when we found out what was really going on...

I was at my other Aunt's house one night when the door bell rang. I was babysitting my 5 yr old cousin, and before I could stop him, he opened the door. There stood Steve, my Aunt L's husband. He was smiling, but as soon as I saw him, for some unknown reason, my stomach began to act crazy. I greeted him, and asked him what he was doing there. He just smiled and came inside without an invite. My stomach began to do flips, and I kept hearing the word 'danger' in my ear.

"Hey Sara, you think you could give me a ride to my family's house on the other side of town?" He asked. His mouth was smiling but something was not right-I could feel it. I was trying to think of a lie, when my little cousin began to run his mouth.

"Oh sure she can, her car is right out back! " my big mouth baby cousin, informed him. Steve began to smile more broadly and moved toward me.

" Oh great you brought your car, I really gotta get home" I shook my head. The closer he got, the more fearful I became but it seemed irrational because he had never done anything to me. Nevertheless, the feeling of danger was growing stronger and stronger. "Uh... I can't Steve, " I lied. " My mom's coming to pick up B___ , (my little cousin) and I have to be here. My cousin tried to open his mouth again, But I quickly grabbed him and placed my hand roughly across his mouth, quietly letting him know to stay quiet. My heart was pounding like crazy, and I didn't know why. I only 'knew' I was not going anywhere with him! Now his eyes narrowed into to strange slits.

"I r-e-a-l-l-y need to get across town" He said in a deadly new voice. He was moving toward me in a menacing manner, and I quickly backed away, with my cousin behind me. "Oh, well let me call my mom and tell her" I faked quickly. I turned and pushed my cousin into the den, and locked the door behind us. Steve reached the door, and jingled the knob hard, calling for me to open it. I ignored him and grabbed the phone, wondering who to call. I knew I couldn't call 911 and tell them my Aunt's husband scared me, and I had a bad 'feeling' about him. Just then, I decided to call my other Aunt L. (His wife) and tell her he was here, and I was scared. But as I touched the phone, it rang. My Aunt B___ who lived in the house was on the phone screaming and crying at the same time.

"Sara!," she screamed. lock the doors! If Steve shows up-call the police! He just robbed a store, and when L____ confronted him, he beat her mercilessly! She's in the hospital!" I screamed that he was here. Moments later, I heard him running out the door, but I didn't come out until my family came to me. I was shaken, and so was my little cousin, but not hurt. At the same time I shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn't listened to my instincts and given him a ride.......

The way to hone your instincts is to simply -Pay Attention!- People miss so much of life because they are not paying attention. The next step is to allow yourself to 'feel whatever you feel' don't rationalize it away- really feel it, and then ask yourself what is it trying to tell you. In cases of real danger, ppl usually 'know' There have been times, when I could almost smell the danger, and I knew I had to get away. Keep a journal, and note in it where you experience the gut level instinct. It's not always the same for different ppl. For instance. When something is not right, I'll get a light feeling in my stomach that corresponds to the situation. But if I'm in imminent danger, my stomach turns, my palms sweat, the hair stands on end, and many times I actually hear the word 'Danger!' in my right ear. As you keep a journal, and note what you felt and what happened, you will know the feelings that urge you into action, and you will be much safer because of it.....

When the guards, protectionists, and saboteurs are black women!!!........

2009-08-04T17:40:00.019-05:00

Some bw are set up to be gatekeepers at the exits of the BC. Many are angry that bm don't want them, and hell bent to make everyone pay!

Some become enraged at other bw for having the nerve to be attracted to wm, and for acting on that attraction. And some are even angry at wm for being so attractive, and appealing!!!

Did you ladies know that many of the protectionists, and guards at the gates of many black enclave hellholes, are female? You see men are smart enough to realize the women often listen to women. Women often emulate other women, and women will often try to please other women, especially if she is an alpha female. The problem is, if we listen to women who do not have our best interests at heart then we'll often be lead blindly right into the pits of hell. Did you know that many of Jim Jone's favorite, and highest ranking associates, were women? Why do you think he did that? Because he knew he needed WOMEN to lead other women into the pit of torment, he called the family...

It's true, that many of us are more apt to trust women than men, but what do you do about women who are mean spirited, jealous, or just plain evil? How do you handle it? Would you try to love this person into changing, or would you leave them to their own devises? First of all, sistas, I want to say I have always told y'all to follow your instincts. And that applies to male as well as female persons. The truth is some women in these blk enclaves are just as deadly, vile, and morally bankrupt as many of the men. They're like the living dead. They've been infected by the virus of hatred, It peruses their system like a fast moving venom, and soon is projected outward. It would be wonderful if we could embrace all bw as sistas and show each other love and compassion in an ongoing open manner. But many of you know all too well, sometimes the only thing you do with some sistas, is to get away from them as quickly as possible.

You see, some women are so bm identified that they will even sabotage and try to hurt other bw if they see us escaping the confines of the black hole ( ghetto, inner cities, blk male dominated domains) Some bw have had their minds so warped by the severe indoctrination that takes place in the bc, that they become brain washed and an accomplice, like Patty Hurst with her kidnappers. Many often feel that they are saving the black race by keeping the women away from anything non-black. However, it's very telling that very few bw, are engaged in openly keeping bm away from white/non black women. Some lost and indoctrinated sistas will even fight tooth and nail for white women, yet throw bw under the bus every chance they get. You see they know this behavior is pleasing to bm. This is also something you see in bm everyday. Day in and out, we see bm who hate with religious fervor all white men yet cannot get enough white women to satisfy their eternal crave for white flesh. They claim to hate all things white but totally identify with white so badly, they try to become pseudo white men, and will hold in very high esteem any and all ww regardless of looks, education, age etc. They have turned the racism and subjugation that they've experienced into an internal animosity. Consequently all things black strike them as lower, less than, and valueless. Yet when they look in the mirror and see the black faces, and kinky hair, the rage comes to the surface, and must be released- usually onto the most vulnerable victims.....

The pathology of female hatred is similar. Many bw are grotesquely angry over the lack of real men in the bc. Many bw see all the hatred directed toward bw coming from bm and blame other bw for that anger/hatred. They don't see that what is in gravitates toward the outside, and that these sick twisted men are responsible for their own feelings and beliefs. Instead these women who have become so bm-identified will often try to 'get back at other women' for 'driving bm away' They will not admit to themselves or anyone else that bm leaving, is a blessing from God, and that no woman should try to keep a man who does not want to be kept. No, they lack the critical neurons ( due to constant programming) to make these distinctions. In their minds, if 'other ' bw would behave and be what bm want, then 'THEY' would have a good bm. Due to this mind set, many bw regard other bw as nothing more than competition, and never with a sense of sisterhood and high regard. These women are often insidious, and quite damaged. They will often turn on other females who have desirable bm (white women) or who defiantly disregard bm (evolved black women) They get their sense of self worth from the pat on the head that bm give them, and pretend that is all the sustenance that is required to maintain life. They are often secretly miserable, lonely, covetous, maligning, mean spirited, and jealous.

Many times these women will consider any woman who has a desirable element to be a target. This includes looks, man, hair, skin tone, education, personality, career, children, (or lack of children-depending on how they see it) etc. This can even go so far to include tangible things such as cars, or houses. Their jealousy prevents them from being happy for anyone else, and to blindly go into a semi-rage at the thought of another woman having more, or better than them. This is why Usher's wife was so hated on. The fact that she was dark and large boned, in their opinion already categorized her as unappealing. (this is how many of them see themselves- due to programming) the fact that she managed to land one of the top recording stars in the world without looking like Beyonce, made them instantly hate her. They've ripped her to shreds because in their diseased minds, bw *should * be on the bottom and their lives have paid tribute to this belief. To see other women breaking the mold frightens, and confuses them. But more than that, it throws their glaring failures in their own face. *If she can attract a high quality man as a dark divorcee with multiple children and no celebrity status of her own- why do they have baby daddies who only pay nocturnal, solicitous, and carnal visits?.....

The depravity of this mindset can even extend to their own children, and other people they *should love*. Some bw will even engage in sexual liaisons with white men (although they may hate them on behalf of bm), and then will mistreat the offspring from these encounters, because she/he has some of that *hated white blood* Yes, some women are really THAT confused, and messed up! Below is a video of a so-called mother supposedly grooming her beautiful biracial daughter's hair. Look closely as she happily tortures the child for having thick beautiful hair and being mixed. Watch her evil grin as she deliberately tangles the child's hair again and again while under the pretense of *combing it*. Then she holds the poor child down while wildly brushing her thick tangled hair, all the while cursing repeatedly at the little girl and gleefully telling her she had no f%$#*& father!!! (like it was the child's fault) and to shut the f*&% up! The malicious pleasure on this mother's face was quite telling, as was her making fun of her son for being biracial (this sick woman obviously thinks biraciallity is an affliction) Her friend laughs and giggles with appalling glee in the background as the little girls cries and screams and begs her to stop. Watching this video, made my stomach turn. There is no love for her own child displayed in this woman's demeanor. Only evil glee. It almost seemed like the little girl represented all the hatred she had for wm, and she was transferring that hatred to her. At the same time I honestly felt immense jealousy radiating from this woman in regard to her child, possibly because of her ad-mixture. (we all know, when this child is older, she will have the kind of looks bm crave-ie, long hair, fair smooth skin, European features, etc) If anyone knows what actions are being taken against this horrible woman, please let us know-here is the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6hxh4vysqo

Basically, I truly believe the only way to deal with damaged females is to do exactly what you would do in the case of damaged males-get away from them. They will poison everything they touch, and they almost never have good intentions. I know you ladies have noticed that some women will go out of their way to discourage sistas from stepping out of the box in ANY way, be it, marriage, career, hobbies, pursuits, education etc. I'm sure you've even had friends to this to you from time to time. The truth is some bw recognize that sistas MUST step out of the box, but their innate gatekeeper training, and the fact that they could never see themselves being so bold, guide them to keep that other woman in at all costs.

Do you know why there is no lid on the crab barrel in sea food restaurants? Its because if a crab tries to escape the other crabs will latch on to it, and pull it back down- They will never let a crab escape since they are in bondage. They never see that if they helped each other, they could all be free. Instead, they are focused on keeping each other down, and this is why none of them are able to escape! This is also why there is no need for a lid. The fellow crabs become the guards at the gates. This is essentially what some bw have become. They may be old, too set in their ways, or have considerable clout in the community, or some other reason that makes escape for them a less than viable option. Therefore, since they know there is no hope for them to lead a better life, they will stalk, bully, and prevent other women from getting out with every available resource they possess. These include friendship, gossip, love, hate reputation, guilt, need for approval etc. The kudos they receive from bm are the icing on the cake, the other entreatment is the sense of reprisal against life by preventing another woman from having betterment in the face of their glaring shortcomings. Wherever you go, and whatever you do in life-be on the look out for these surreptitious, dangerous malefactors. They'll be the ones wearing invisible tattoos reading: "Born to Sabotage!"

How bw are urged to carry the load, and play the part.....

2009-07-26T19:50:00.013-05:00

Couples like the 1st one are almost never shown in the Hw spin machine.

Yet couples like Tiger and the nanny (aka fake model) are shown constantly. This serves 2 purposes. a. convince ww they are still the most beautiful and sought after.

b. To convince bw that they are not!

Lovely Sanaa plays the part of a young woman who falls for and stays with an abysmal loser (Westley) in Disappearing acts..... (parts like these are designed to show bw this is all you deserve-be grateful....)

I was watching a few days ago at the supermarket as a young blk couple approached their car in the parking lot of our local market. (next to us) As they reached the car, the male took the child from the shopping basket, and got into the car. At first I thought he was simply going to place the child into her car seat and then get the groceries. But instead after he had placed the child into the car seat, he got in himself, and proceeded to smoke a cigarette. Me and a friend starred in surprise as the woman was forced to load, what must have been about 300.00 worth of groceries by herself-with a man sitting in the car smoking! She then turned and went to put the cart back. As she came back, she noticed us watching, and her worn young face filled with embarrassment. She knew the situation was unnatural, yet she allowed it to happen. Their car was very old and looked like it had long ago seen better days. As the woman started the car, it creaked, coughed, and groaned to life. The man in the car began to laugh and told her she needed to get rid of this piece of sh*t. The woman sighed, and snappily asked him where she would get the money since she had all the household bills to pay. At this point, he got an uncomfortable look on his face and shrugged. He had lost interest in the conversation. My friend shook her head as we drove away.

"What good is a man, if he can't do anything for you?" she murmured. "I don't know " I answered.

"But I do know I'd slam the door if he ever darkened my doorstep"

My friend was quiet a moment. Then she said sadly:

"Why do we bw always seem to carry all the damn burdens?-he didn't even put the groceries in the car, and now he expects her to find a way to get herself another car all by herself!-what the hell does she need him for???" I shrugged. she's a people watcher who always asks intense questions, but I knew there really was no answer. That woman obviously felt that was the best she could do. She was wrong, of course, but as long as she believes it, -that will be her reality. I thought about it again as I dropped my friend off, and passed another young mother struggling up a hill with 3 sacks of groceries, and no car. Obviously someone was sexing her as she had 3 small children with her. I wondered as I passed, why she would allow a man to leave her with 3 children, who did not have the initiative to even provide her with the most basic of cars..... Basically bw have been sold a false bill of goods that they must take on the man's role, in addition to their own. This is why so many bw will work 2-3 jobs, and still try to take care of numerous children, and play the part of the mule to for many people.....

Disappearing Acts.........

I was further reminded of the whole situation later that night, as I sat down with my family and watched a lifetime movie called Disappearing acts. It starred Westley Snipes and Sanaa Latham.

Basically, the main character, (Sanaa ) falls in love with Westley's character. They date and eventually have a baby. Unfortunately for her, he is a loser who cannot seem to get his act together. (Although it was patently clear that he was expected to get sympathy points for trying.) He had all these dreams, but nothing seemed to pan out. Probably because he puts a very minuscule amount of effort into all his endeavors. Anyway, when she gives birth to the baby, he's once again out of work, so she has to immediately go back to work as a teacher, and is forced to take a very abbreviated maternity leave. She's still suffering the effects of child birth, yet she cannot even stay home to make a full recovery! This causes immense tension between them, as she is very resentful, and unhealed. He pretends not to notice, as he flounders around making very brief efforts to find work. (often claiming it's too cold) He then leaves her to struggle paying all the bills while he lays around her apartment on the couch. She grows more and more frustrated, and angry as he 'forgets' to pick up their son, leaves the house filthy-even though he's there all day, and waits for her to do everything for the baby-in addition to her paying ALL the bills. She cries herself to sleep and basically worries all the time. I believe the final catalyst was her getting another bill she could not pay. They began to argue, and he asks her what she needs him for. She replies that she doesn't know. They stare at each other in shock. Then she goes into the bedroom and lays down quietly. A little while later, he comes in, and looks at her laying there looking beautiful. He immediately whips off his shirt and tries to make love to her. At first she responds and they begin to take off their clothing. But soon it seems as if the resentments overwhelm her, and she pushes him away, and tells him to be gone the next day. The following day, he seems to feel that she's wrong to ask him to leave and begins to bust up all her furniture with a hammer! Now keep in mind, that she has to take care of HIS child all by herself, as well as pay ALL the bills, and now replace all the things he has broken! She comes homes and cries over the damage. Despite this, she misses him (for some reason) and they soon get back together. I guess this is their version of a black woman's Cinderella. In my estimation this movie came much closer to a nightmare, than a fairy tale.

I resented this movie on several counts. First of all, lifetime NEVER makes movies in which ww are expected to settle for broke, down and out, unambitious, go nowhere men. Never is this 'choice' marketed to ww. They are almost always paired to men who have 'something' to offer them and their offspring. Almost never have I seen the ww encouraged to date, mate and marry the loser. And I certainly have never seen on ANY movie, a ww have to go back to work unhealed because a man can't provide-AND HAVE HER KEEP HIM! See they don't want ww to even consider doing anything so stupid-that's why you will never see it in a movie. As far as Sanaa's character goes: Now she gets to carry the baby AND THE MAN! This is no dream relationship, this is a nightmare. Along with bm who try hard to normalize this nightmare, I often notice the media, joining the coalition of bw subjugation at the executive level. They are ginormous culprits in the -use-a-sista-brigade. They seem hell bent on convincing bw that they have 3 functions in this world:

1. The Sapphire. (New York is an exp.) when you see a loud, vulgar, often ghetto acting, Ebonics speaking, flailing, neck twisting caricature on television, this is their version of the Sapphire.

She is there to make ALL bw look like gutter trash, who cannot carry on a civil conversation without resorting to an animistic scream: "Don't make me CUT you!!!"

She is quick to fight, or start arguments especially with precious ww who are innocent and in the wrong place at the wrong time. She is unfit for marriage or any societal union, as she is wild, untamed, and lacking the sense to talk out her issues without resorting to: "cuttin a hoe!"

2. The Jezebel. This bw is the ready slut that movies often use in the background. She has no moral compass, and no human qualities, or any qualities that would endear an average movie goer to her. She is there merely to satisfy the lascivious needs of the men, as well as provide a ready target for white female aggression. She is almost never attractive, and is so pathetic, and un-enticing, only the most scabby abnormal men of any race would find her appealing. This does not mean however, that she is not used by numerous men as a sexual toilet and defiled, and dehumanized on a regular basis. After all, she is barely human-what difference could it possibly make....

3. last but not least is the MAMMY. This is a cinema favorite, and the only role in which a bw is usually given accolades. She is asexual, unattractive, and usually very overweight. But she is also very helpful, knows her place, and 'Yesm's" with a knee jerk response. Like a professionally trained monkey. She loves the family or friend she adores with all her over- sized heart, and fails to realize that she is never really loved in return as much as she is depended upon and needed. She is quite happy go lucky, as her undersized cranium does not allow her to see the stage of derision and inequality upon which, she plays her part. She gets her sense of self worth and kudos from 'pleasin the white folks' and rarely ever thinks of her own needs. After all even she knows she does not count, and is simply there to provide a service. Although she is allowed to pretend she matters which the other two players are not. (Think the fat black maid in Gone with the wind. ) she was a perfect mammy.....

These are the 3 roles, Hollywood is most comfortable with a bw playing. All 3 are soul destroying paradies, and all 3 are extremely unappealing, and do considerable harm to a bw's self image, as well as our collective public image. You see, Hollywood has to do this: Too many wm would express open interest in bw if not for the negative publicity, and open malignment rained down on bw. There is a method to the madness. And that is the keep the bw as unappealing as possible in order to keep the number of IR romances/marriages down, while simultaneously keeping white male dollars in the pockets of deserving ww. And make no mistake about it. If Hw. were not afraid of IR, and the resulting collapse of the ww's pedestal, then they would not need to corroborate these images, and caricatures again and again. This is why so many semi-attractive, older bw are used constantly. While the younger, and far more beautiful bw are held in obscurity (always in the back ground, and given dismissive parts) Notice how ww who are semi- to -very unattractive, are held up as somewhat pretty (Sarah Jessica Parker) (Melissa Gilbert) (Jaime Curtis) etc This is because they get a certain amount of beauty points -bps just for being white, and of course a wg should ALWAYS get to play the princess regardless of looks.... Harry was always the expert at breaking down this type of conditioning. But we'll delve further into that later.. Thanks for tuning in....

Why we must have HIGH Standards......

2009-07-20T10:55:00.018-05:00

The kind of man you get will be a direct reflection of the kind of standards you hold....

Why do you think the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders are the best in the world?

I can tell you in one simple word. *Standards* It's because they have the highest STANDARDS of any cheerleaders in the world. Standards are the parameters of behavior in our lives. They determine what is acceptable to us, and what is not. I remember watching an episode of the DCC on tv, and being awed by how perfect the routine was. As I watched the girls trying to make the team, it was quite evident just how extremely high the criteria was. The women had to be very attractive, very thin, very athletic, toned, physically strong, good dancers along with grace, stage presence, and gymnastic abilities. The standards were so high in fact, that many girls began to cry upon finding out what was expected of them. They 'knew' they did not have what it took to reach them. The two women who head the team told one girl that her face did not look young and fresh. (yes, she was young) but they said it was completely obvious to them, that she had engaged in many anti-social behaviors that were now showing on her face, and that she was not a candidate for training school, and that she would never be. Another girl was dismissed because she had naked pictures on the Internet, and they told her that this was conduct unbecoming a DCC candidate, and that she was dismissed as well. I watched them send girls home for weight, body shape, lack of charm, lack of dance skills, lack of etiquette etc. Time and again, I noticed that as hard as they were on the white girls, they were harder still on the black girls. One wg was warned 3 times about her weight before she was dismissed. Yet I watched as one bg was dismissed with her very first bad performance. She cried, and begged to have one more chance, but they refused. This was a recurring theme, the bgs were given one shot deals again and again. Now this is not fair, but it IS life. The truth is the high standards for others, will always be higher still for us. No bg/bw can afford to delude herself about this. We must always be on our A-game. The most interesting part though is that of the bgs left, they were the best of the best. One was considered the best dancer on the team. One won for most athletic when she beat everyone in the competition, and one was considered as having the most stage presence etc.... The point is the bgs knew they had to be the best of the best in order to make the team -and they were.....

But lets apply this to another area for a moment.

I have a male cousin who is a typical damaged bm in a blk enclave. He's in the hospital right now due to the fact that one of the females he cheated on (There are 6 that we know of!) stabbed him when she found out that he had 3 other girls pregnant, while living with her. In fact, at a recent family reunion, one of 'his women' came with one of the babies, and he had to ask her his son's name!!! The reason many bm act this way is because the standards for a good bm have become so lackadaisical as to be almost non existent. Once upon a time the standards for being a man were much higher in the bc, and this is why we had men like my grandfather who, although he was Native American, married my grandmother, and worked to give her the best life he possibly could. He knew her family would not tolerate her marrying a bum. This is the reason that all their children were born IN wedlock, and me and all of my sisters and brothers were born in wedlock. It's also the reason that so many blk children today are NOT born in wedlock. Back in time the standards were so much higher across the board. The truth is if bm collectively and consciously decided to raise their standards of just fatherhood, the bc would be a far different place than it is today.

It makes me think of the bm of old, like for instance, I remember reading about Benjamin Banneker. This man was a mathematician, Astronomer, Inventor, and Surveyor! This man was so accomplished and so intelligent, that he correctly predicted a solar eclipse on the exact day it happened, using a complex mathematical equation. In 1792 he published an almanac that was so definitive, accurate and abstruse, that it caused Thomas Jefferson to reverse his contention that blacks were internally, and intellectually inferior to whites. Basically this man was a genius. Why? because he had the standards of a genius! (BTW-scientists have proven that geniuses are created far more often then they are born)

I also remember reading about Frederick Douglas, and the context in which he addressed the Dred Scott Decision. Dred Scott was a slave who sued his owner's wife, Ms Emerson, for his freedom (after the death of Dr Emerson) He felt he was entitled to live free because he had lived several years in free territories. He initially won, his battle (1850) but the decision was overturned by the Missouri Supreme Court in 1852. He appealed to the US Supreme court with the help of abolitionist friends and supporters. But in 1857, the US Supreme Court handed down it's decision:

***As a black man, Dred Scott was NOT a citizen of the United States and had no right to sue anybody. Furthermore, the court ruled, that congress could not prevent slave owners form taking their property (slaves) anywhere in the country.

This decision dealt a serious blow to the anti-slavery movement, because it then retroactively made prior anti-slavery laws, unconstitutional.

Chief Justice Taney declared:

"Blacks are an inferior class of beings who have no rights to which the white man is bound to respect."

Many blacks were ready to give up at that point, but Frederick Douglas roused them to fight on, with words to the effect: " The Supreme Court is not the only power in this world, and Judge Taney cannot bail out the ocean or pluck a silvery star of liberty from our Northern sky...." (In other words Taney was not God!) There was more, but I don't remember it verbatim. What I do remember is being deeply inspired by his fortitude, and strength. I remember asking my mother how ppl living in such oppressed conditions found the strength to keep going, to fight on, and march on in the face of such bigotry and hatred. She told me that they had very high standards for their lives that they were willing to die for. She said they knew they would probably perish before those dreams were realized. But they knew that if they fought hard enough, and long enough, and never gave up, that some day their children might come into the world, and have a better life....

Anyway, this is not a history lesson, but I will never forget those words. I think about these things all the time, and I wonder how our ancestors must think to themselves: I went through SOOOOOO much so that they might have better lives, and the right to live free and look how they have exploited and denigrated those gifts....and it makes me so sad.

The truth is, today, many ppl have no standards for their lives. Too many bw have high standards for their own lives (Education, career) but low standards for the men in their lives (any man will do, type mentality) Ladies, the truth is, anything you don't have standards for will fail in your life! You must have standards for everything you expect to be productive, and constructive in your life. This includes, but is not limited to: your children, your fiances, your career, education, and your HUSBAND. I'm a firm believer in using obstacles to your benefit. This is how many of our ancestors were able to keep pushing, instead of laying down to die. They saw that whites would not let them into their community, so they formed their own. They supported blk businesses, and helped each other all they could. The church is an old time relic from this nostalgic period of affinity, and brotherhood in the BC. But things are drastically different today. Today, bw must adapt to those changes, as well as others in this life. If the bc is no longer the bastion of love, protection and support, that it once was, (and it's def. not! -now it's a hovel of hell) then we need to move on. If a school you have your child in, is substandard, then remove your children and find a better school. If there is something you want desperately to do in this life, yet you lack the resources, -then find a way to get the resources to do it anyway. Life is fleeting, and short! Never keep putting off the things that you want. Never lower the standards you have for your life. And of course if bm cannot measure up to par, (don't meet your standards) then for heaven's sake-leave them where they lay, and move on!

The biggest problem in the bc today, is that we have lessened the standards so much. Our musical standards have lessened, and now we have trash 'simulating' music. Our standards of the youth have lessened, and now we have young children with no respect for their elders, or themselves. Cursing out women in the streets and walking around with their pants hanging around their knees etc. Our standards of etiquette have been lowered, and now ppl get on television and air all their dirty laundry. And our standards for bm have gotten so low, many bm will cop an attitude for being EXPECTED to take care of their own children!! We have got to life our standards back up, and stop accepting trash! Take a tip from our ancestors, don't lower the standards, find other ways to meet them.

The reason America is the best country in the world today is because our STANDARDS are the highest! When countries loosen the standards for their citizens (Iraq, Iran, China) come to mind, you can literally watch the lives of the citizens unravel, and deteriorate. (famine, wide spread abuse, internal wars, and high degrees of misogyny) to name a few....If you want to have a great life, and a great man, or even just a great career, then you must keep your standards up, and adjust your life to get what you want. You can have almost anything you want, but only if you are willing to put in the work, have high standards, and refuse to accept less.........

Read Karma story: -on white chocolate preferred....

The myth that white men only want black women for SEX!!!

2009-07-14T01:01:00.011-05:00

Choose your man carefully. Prince Albert (L) is a man who is very attracted to bw, but obviously would not marry one.

On the other hand, MANY wm, are more than happy to marry bw-tune out those who say differently, they are misguided... (or lying)

Let's face it-

Many bw believe wm only want them for sex because they are told this on a continuous basis. Usually by bm (who want to use them first, and the bc-who need mules to carry the burdens) Bw are constantly told this is All wm could ever want them for. Even the media, seems to have a vested interest in corroborating this misconception. Usually, because they do not want bw to take the choicest white men. (Remember what I've told y'all. Never trust someone to tell you how to get out of a ditch, if he has a vested interest in you staying in it.....

Today, I'm going to answer this question for you once and for all.

The truth is: ----------SOME DO! ----And SOME DON'T-------------

The simple truth is, (regardless of race-) SOME men are jerks and will always try to use women. But for many men, sex simply becomes an unplanned opportunity that they could not refuse-when offered. Ladies, let me explain something. Sex to a man (this applies to most men) is like a good cup of coffee. It's hot, it's delicious, and it's over.... They'll wash themselves off, and go on their way. Many men will even have sex with women they don't like! As women, you have to stop mixing sex with love, they are NOT the same. Now I don't' think it makes a man a bad guy if he sleeps with a woman he is not in love with, or barely knows. I def. think it makes him stupid in this day and age, but that's another story... Bottom line, women need to be VERY slow to sleep with a man. like I've said many times before, men are just not smart enough to hide their *real* selves for long. All you have to do to vet him is keep your legs closed and your ears open. He will tell you EXACTLY who he is.....

As for the question, do wm just want bw for sex---- Let me tell you ladies something ----

ALL men want you for sex!!! He won't approach if he thinks he is NEVER going to be able to sleep with you, but that does not mean, that's ALL he wants....

It's interesting to me that so many bw write and tell me that they want to date out, but are afraid wm will try to use them for sex! Yet many of these same women will relate to me that they are unwed mothers or have been used, and hurt repeatedly by bm. My question is:

WHY AREN'T BLACK WOMEN WORRIED ABOUT BM USING THEM FOR SEX???

Because the majority of them, (BM) most definitely do use bw for sex, (and money, housing, laundry, etc) and yet many of you are so busy worrying about what wm are 'going' to use you for, you can't see that bm have been using some of you for years!!

Should you vet white men?? --Girl YES!-vet ALL MEN!!!--- but then close your legs, smile, and listen to what he's really saying/doing. Many women do not seem to realize that they are setting the tone, when they first meet a man. This is why your momma always told you to make a good impression, because you can never go back and re meet that person for the first time. In other words, if you come off as a tramp when he first meets you, then what exactly do you expect him to believe-except that you are a tramp? It' s so very important to set the tone in the beginning and establish in his mind that you are a lady, and that you expect to be treated like one. This is especially important because the jerks who have no intentions of treating you well, will begin to fade away, and the quality men will still be there. Always know that you are setting the tone when you first meet....Now back to men...

What many women do not know is that men will often put a women in 4 distinct categories when he meets a woman.

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a. friend/companion/confidante

b. sidepiece, week end fling-other woman

c. mother-like, maternal -relatives

d. WIFE-wife material!

He will NEVER tell you he is doing this, he will simply do it. You must NEVER allow him to put you in Cat B. Let me tell you a few things about sex that most younger women do not know...

Sex is NOT a bonding agent! You cannot use it to pull him to you. LOVE is the bond, Sex is just the expression of the love! Never pass yourself around like a box of chocolate! Even if no one else knows (say you move to a new state) In your heart you will still know, and your soul will ache. You are much too precious to be used as a sexual toilet!

Remember in the Color Purple when Shug says to Cilly (sp?) "You act like he just goin to the bathroom on you Ms cilly! "
And Cilly shrugs sadly, and replies:

"That's what it feel like. He don't ever ask me nothin bout myself or nuthin! He just climb on top of me an-do his bizness" .......

That's a perfect example of sex without love and intimacy. Her soul was aching because she KNEW she was being used, and sexed by someone who didn't give a damn about her. I see no reason for any women to WILLINGLY subject themselves to this self esteem killing behavior or have to live with the regret of indulging in this type of behavior. Save yourself for the one that matters!

Never should it be easy for a man to get you into bed (unless he's your hubby!) HONEY-when it comes to playing hard to get-you should NOT be playing!

... But back to topic. Vet all men because some wm simply love black booty, and will most def. indulge at every whim if given the opportunity. But MANY wm, are looking for someone to LOVE, someone to mother his children, someone to marry, and he is not concerned with color, if you're not....

Lastly, I think I told you ladies, to LISTEN and he would tell you... I want to give an example of what I was talking about. A few years ago, I was a consultant at a particular office in town. There were a few wm there who would *seem* to follow me around. One was always asking me out. He still wore his deceased wife's ring on his finger, and always spoke of things that meant a great deal to him. I noticed whenever he mentioned his wife, he would cock his head to the side, and look up to the left. Then a sweet smile would come over his face and he would tell me how much I reminded him of his late wife. I knew he was picturing her in the past and I could tell by the look on his face, how much she meant to him. But soon, he began to *chase* me in earnest, and when he spoke to me, I began to see him look up with that same dreamy look -to the right. I knew he was picturing me in his future, and I also knew he was falling hard.... The point is: by simply paying attention to the myriad of clues he was leaving, I could guess what was going on long before he confessed it.... Now the other guy always seemed to be talking to my chest instead of me. Even when he leaned over me, and whispered how pretty he thought I was, his eyes were on the top of my dress. I knew right away what *type* he was, and I avoided him. But he was very persistent, and always managed to be where I was. He also was annoyingly touchy-feely, and leering. One day he actually had the nerve to send me an email saying something to the effect of -he was going to throw me across my desk- and ravage me! This is how I handled it.

When he came to my office to ask me if I had gotten his email, I looked up, and blinked several times like I was an airhead. Then I turned and looked him right in the eye, and said. "Oh, I figured you had confused my email, with someone else, because I was sure you 'knew' better than to disrespect me like that!" I then finished it off with a blank look. He was suddenly embarrassed, and stuttered an apology to me.... Weeks later, he got involved with a bw officer, and sexed her until his wife found out, and got her fired! (Yes, the jerk was married!) When it hit the fan, he never came forward in her defense.... See, she was just a side piece to him......

Anyway ladies, that's what I want to make clear to you. Most men will use you as a side piece if you let them. Nice guys, jerks, even religious men (IF you let them) They all have sexual urges, and they will use you to alleviate those urges IF you let them....

So trust your own instincts, you will come to know which wm is sincere and which one is just after a good time, and all you have to do is LISTEN!!

UNBELIEVABLE --- BET reaches an all time low!!!

2009-07-09T09:08:00.014-05:00

Jaime Foxx starts off the evening insulting MJ fans, and insisting on calling Michael a black man -"He belonged to us!-and we shared him with the world!" he bellowed.

Any fool knows that's not true! Michael loved all people of all colors, and truly he belonged to the world-not just us....

Well BET does it again. It adeptly brings us to a new all time low, and just when you think the network just can't get anymore sleazy. My hat is off, Debra Lee, and her cohorts managed to pull it off. I'm referring of course to the so-called Michael Jackson tribute, that wasn't. In fact, Michael was barely mentioned. But what was highlighted, and presented to America, was a foul, gyrating, lyrical nonsense 'performance' passing as musical entertainment. It was then topped off in it's debauchery with a heaping dose of child porn. If you saw the show, then you saw Lil Wayne and his cohorts rapping to some God-forsaken garbage 'about f(*&^%) every girl in the world! This coonified, brain dead, little amoral puppet came out swaying, and grinning like a modern day minstrel show, while he brought black ppl to the bottom of the cesspool where he and his friends, no-doubt, live. While he rapped out this lyrical feces, out come 4 cute little (9-12) year old black girls. At this point, I'm shocked, thinking they are going to stop this nonsense, but no. Ppl kept bobbing and dancing in place while these little girls gathered around to be exploited. And it gets worse, as the lyrics went into rather graphic detail, and had to be bleeped out, I watched as one of Lil Wayne's damaged sidekicks began to chant how he loved to get the 'Spanish girls to 'scream "Oh Papi" as he stuck his d(*&) in. At this point I was so shaken and mortified, I had to leave the room. I'm going to try to post this video for those of you who think I'm exaggerating.... How long are bp going to actively participate in their own demise. Not one adult in that audience stood up and spoke up for those little girls. Truly, most of our enemies seem to be internal.... The only way to describe BET, and the amoral pygmies that run it-is HOT GHETTO MESS...

Don't bother writing letters BET does not care-don't you realize that yet? The only way to deal with these life-lacerating maggots is to get them off the air!

Go to what about our daughters-both videos are there (scroll down to see little girls)

http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/

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The open letter sent to Clutch magazine -below-

FICTIONAL character.

Dear Debra Lee,
I’m Janita Patrick, a 15-year-old African-American female from Cincinnati. Recently, I watched the 2009 BET Awards and felt the strongest urge to reach out to the program. My family is of the typical middle-class variety; both parents and four brothers. See, I’m a junior in high school (got skipped), so naturally EVERYBODY in my age group watches BET. I’m used to seeing the sagging pants, tattoos, lack of emphasis on reading and respecting women that makes up your videos. People in my class live this out everyday, while teachers tell us that we’re acting just like the people in your shows.
In your shows. That struck me as odd, because I would think that with your show being the primary outlet for black entertainers and musicians, and considering the context of blacks in this country, there’s a social responsibility factor to consider. I would never blame BET alone for the way a great deal of my classmates act and talk and dress. Everybody makes their own choices. However, if anybody is aware of the power of television on impressionable minds, it’s the people running the television operations. If you are not aware, then perhaps you shouldn’t be running the operations.
Guess who watches your network the most? Not those who are intelligent enough to discern foolishness from substance, but those who are barely teenagers, impressionable and believing. It’s awfully cruel to plant seeds of ignorance in fertile minds. You know it’s really bad when the co-founder of BET, Sheila Johnson, said that she “really doesn’t watch it” anymore.
I am constantly fighting against the images and messages put forth on your program. What made you think that it’s okay to bring my classmates on stage to dance behind Lil Wayne and Drake to a song talking about boffing “every girl in the world”? Why does reality train wrecks have to be thrown in our faces? Are you aware of the achievement gap going in inner-city African-American communities? A report from America’s Promise Alliance, a non-profit group started by Colin Powell, recently stated that 47 percent of high school students in the nation’s top 50 cities don’t graduate. This isn’t because of BET per se, but I don’t see any episodes on your show doing anything to counteract this disturbing trend. In fact, your show is a part of this cycle of media depicting us at our worst.
My older brother told me something about profit being the number one goal for every business. I’m not sure I understand what that means, but I do know that your shows have to be entertaining enough to generate viewers, which is how you make your money. But surely our culture is rich enough to entertain without anything extra to “boost” ratings; why the over-the-top foolery? I listen to classmates talk about Baldwin Hills like it’s the Manhattan Project. It doesn’t take much effort to produce a throng of degenerative reality shows, nor does it take much to eliminate socially conscious shows off the air. MTV isn’t much better, but since when does two wrongs ever make a right? It’s one thing for white television shows to depict us in a particular way, but for black television shows to do it is just baffling.
Why do you hate us?
All of the values that my parents seek to instill in me and my brothers seems to be contradicted by a more powerful force from the media, and your show is at the forefront. Your network is the only network that features rap videos and shows exclusively to children of my color. I know that you have no control over the music that the artists put out, but you do have influence as to how you air these videos. I’m sure if a stand was taken to use the talent in your organization to actually crank out thought-provoking entertaining shows and videos, then artists will follow suit. Being that they need you as much as you need them.
There was one awkward segment in the BET Awards when Jamie Foxx singled out three black doctors-turned-authors, but the introduction was so powerless that many of the viewers had no idea who they were. Had they been introduced as Sampson Davis, Rameck Hunt and George Jenkins, three brothers who overcame major obstacles to become a success without the use of lyrics that berate women, the sell of substance that destroy communities or through raps about loose gunplay, then maybe my classmates would have come to school talking about more than Beyonce, T-Pain’s BIG ASS CHAIN and Soulja Boy Tell Em’s hopping out the bed.
But they weren’t introduced like that. It seemed like a throwaway obligatory tribute to appease some irritated fans. It missed the mark. Big time. Ask Michelle Obama if she watches BET or encourages Sasha and Malia to do so. Ask President Obama. It’s a reason he is the leader of the free world, and it isn’t because of Buffoonery Exists Today.
You’d be surprised how smart young black children can be with the absence of Blacks Embarrassing Themselves. If your goal is to deter engaged, forward-thinking articulate black minds, then consider your goal fulfilled. It’s hard-pressed to think that your shows are working to promote cultural betterment. However, it’s quite easy to conclude that the destruction of black children through the glorification of immoral behavior and rushed production is by design. Poison is being swallowed by every viewer who adores your network, and the worse thing is, these viewers - my classmates - are not even aware what they’re swallowing.
There is nothing edifying for black women on your show. I don’t judge people who do throng to your programs though; I mean, if a jet crashes in right in front of me, I’ll watch it too. That’s why I don’t flip by your channel…I don’t even want to be sucked in.
I have aspirations of acquiring a law degree and possibly entering the public sphere, so I can counteract conditions in my community perpetuated by the images on your channel. So I should thank you, because in a weird sense, your shoddy programming is the wind behind my back. And it is my hope that I can accomplish my dreams despite BET’s pictorial messages, because Lord knows it won’t be because of them.
Sincerely,Janita Patrick
Janita Patrick is a fictional character. Luckily for Janita, her heartfelt and articulate letter is a result from a lack of BET. Too many others aren’t as lucky.

Wow! --- and they call BW gold diggers!!!..........

2009-07-03T08:24:00.012-05:00

Linda Hamilton, and Heather Mills. Two women who got very big divorce settlements for very short marriages. Below: Lionel Richie and second wife-Diane

Why is it that bw are so often called gold diggers??? That question really intrigues me especially sense 70% of the wealth of all AAs, resides with BLACK WOMEN!

I have seen bw called gold diggers for asking men to help with the bills, asking them to take them out once in a while, and even for asking them to help pay for THEIR children!

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I had to post on this because even the media will often call bw gold diggers (or they'll strongly imply it. Case in point, when Mike Tyson was divorcing Robyn Givens, the media often called her a gold digger, and claimed that she was arrogant, bitchy, overzealous in her need for control, and money grubbing. She was vilified in the press, and slandered repeatedly. She was so maligned the Enquirer at the time was calling her the most hated woman in America, and polls showed that 97% of the ppl felt that she should not get one dime in a divorce settlement! 97%! That's how effective the media was at portraying this woman as a gold digging, celebrity chasing tramp. You see them doing the same thing to Tameka Foster these days (Usher's soon to be Ex) She is also constantly vilified and crucified in the press. She is portrayed as a hood rat who chased and cornered a naive, highly talented rich singer. And somehow got her blackened fingers into him..... This is soooooo crazy because so often the REAL gold diggers are ignored while everyone is concentrating on bw who have the audacity to marry a man with money. The media will often hound and hunt down bw who have the temerity to marry up regardless of the man's race, and regardless of how much she herself brought to the table. But will often IGNORE ww who come to the table with practically nothing and demand large exorbitant paydays for short obligatory marriages. Case in point, do you know what the media said when Tiger Woods married Elin? They said she was mega-hot and he was lucky to get her!!! Lucky to get her!! Are you kidding me? She was a nanny (regardless of how they claim she was a top model -that's bull, she just had some swim suit pics) The truth is, she was the nanny of another golfer, and had practically no assets of which to speak, and yet when she marries a multi-millionaire world famous golfer, the media claims --HE WAS LUCKY TO GET HER!!!--- Lord have mercy! Can you imagine the furor if the situation had been reversed, and she was a blk nanny who married an international world famous rich white golfer??? The papers would have ripped her apart, and we all know it. But have you noticed that when it's obvious the woman is a gold digger, but is NOT black, the media is extremely reluctant to call her what she is.--- (Not saying that Elin is-just that she would be called one if she were black)---It seems, if said woman is white, she is almost never referred to in a negative fashion or accused of being avaricious, and opportunistic. I'll give a few examples of what I mean. Notice how of all 3 cases, these women are almost given license to fleece the men they CLAIMED to love! With the media practically defending them!

Farm Sanctuary's..
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LONDON — Heather Mills was a less than candid court witness whose $250 million divorce claim was exorbitant, a judge said in his ruling on her divorce from Paul McCartney.
The judgment by Hugh Bennett was released Tuesday, after a court rejected Mills' attempt to block publication.
On Monday, Bennett awarded Mills a $48.6 million divorce settlement after her four-year marriage to the former Beatle. Mills had sought almost $250 million, while McCartney had offered $31.6 million, including Mills' own assets.
In his ruling, the judge said Mills' claim "is and was unreasonable, indeed exorbitant."
He also said Mills' evidence was "not just inconsistent and inaccurate but also less than candid. Overall she was a less than impressive witness."
McCartney's lawyers didn't object to publication, but Mills claimed details in the ruling could compromise the security of her 4-year-old daughter Beatrice.
"Miss Mills believes her daughter will be put in real danger. It is most disturbing," said lawyer David Rosen, who represented Mills in court. She did not attend the hearing.
Mills, 40, walked away from court with a settlement worth about $34,000 for every day of her marriage to the 65-year-old McCartney. But it was only a fifth of what she had sought and a fraction of McCartney's $800 million fortune.
Mills declared that she was "very, very, very pleased."
The settlement included a lump sum of $33 million, plus the assets Mills currently holds worth $15.6 million.
Some legal experts were surprised the former model did not get more.
To me this is blatant gold digging of the highest order. Where does she get the nerve to ask for 250 million dollars??? She was married to this man for less than 4 years!!! He worked his whole life to make this fortune. Why should someone come in and be entitled to it because she was married to him for four years!!!

Then she tries to block publication of her outrageous requests because she does not want everyone to know just how greedy she really is.....

MARCH 2--Five months after filing for divorce from Lionel Richie, the singer's estranged wife has just weighed in with a whopping--and remarkably detailed--demand for at least $300,000 in monthly support payments. According to Diane Richie, 37, the couple has led an "extraordinary extravagant lifestyle" and that she had "no limit on what I could spend," according to the below Los Angeles Superior Court declaration filed last week. The Richie's, who wed in December 1996 and have two young children, live in a $40 million Beverly Hills mansion, with its 30 rooms spread over 18,000 square feet. "In addition to nine full time staff members, we also employ people to maintain our plants, detail our cars, care for our pool, groom our dog, maintain our aquarium and a painter for regular touch ups on the house," noted Richie. She also made sure to point out particular monthly expenses that Lionel, 54, needs to cover: clothing, shoes, and accessories ($15,000); dermatology ($3000); laser hair removal ($1000); massages ($600); jewelry ($5000); gifts ($5000); and vitamins ($500). There are plenty of other costs Richie listed--like $20,000 annually for plastic surgery and her nine-year-old son's $125,000 boarding school tuition--but TSG will let you discover those chestnuts. According to Richie, she began dating the pop star in 1984, when they met at the Summer Olympics in Los Angeles (she was an 18-year-old dancer). Since those teen days, the performer "paid my rent and/or mortgage, purchased automobiles for me, and regularly bought me expensive gifts," recalled Richie....
More gold digging, First of all, she stole him from another woman (Brenda) and then she cheats on him, while demanding that he take care of her in the style to which she has become accustomed! I would think that a woman voluntarily surrenders up that life style when she begins to have an affair!

James Cameron & Linda Hamilton -- (more than) $50 million James Cameron is the visionary filmmaker who gave the world grand Hollywood spectacles like the first two Terminator movies, in which Linda Hamilton starred, True Lies , and Titanic . The romance between the two reportedly began on the set of T2 in 1991, although they only got married in July 1997. But at that time, Titanic was released and Cameron apparently spent more time with one of his stars, Suzy Amis, than with his wife. During their 17-month marriage, which produced a daughter, they were separated for eight months. Cameron, whom Hamilton describes as an "absolutely miserable, miserable, unhappy man," was forced to give her more than half his revenues from Titanic -- over $50 million -- in 1999.W
I think this proves my point. Why in the world is a woman entitled to 50 million dollars for a 17 month marriage!!

This is what I mean. if you research any of these cases ( or many more) on the Internet, you will see that ww are given card blanch to rake men over the coals, while bw are expected to walk away with nothing regardless of how many years said couple is married. I am NOT saying that all ww are gold diggers or that all bw are innocent. Not at all-we all know that's not true. But what I am saying is that even when it's blatantly shown that SOME ww ARE gold diggers, they are never called this, and instead are excused, pampered, and protected. Lionel's first wife (bw) got almost nothing. Yet his second wife expects him to accommodate an extravagant lifestyle (she only lived because of him) for the rest of her life- regardless of the fact that she admitted to a long term and ongoing affair! The point is, when ppl call bw gold diggers -they really have no idea what an actual gold digger is, and even when they do, they are extremely reluctant to actually use the term, in connection with women who are not black....

So I want to be clear. I want bw to understand that wanting a better man is natural, that is not gold digging (because some women get it confused.) Wanting a man who is prosperous and can take care of his offspring is prudent, not gold digging. There is NOTHING wrong with that, and you should be trying to marry UP rather than down. I merely wanted to point out to bw the difference between wanting more, and being a gd. Wanting a man who has more and can do more is common sense. Asking for 250 million dollars after you've been married to someone for 4 years is Gold digging-there is a distinct difference. So absolutely want more, look for more, and marry more (up) don't allow the world or the bc-and the cartoon characters in it- to fool you anymore into thinking that you should be marrying down, and 'helping a brotha out!' Look for men who can definitely elevate you to a better life, and understand that only rapacious greed makes a gold digger, not simply wanting more, and wanting more for one's children.....

Don't let the ' white girl song' bother you.....

2009-06-25T00:08:00.007-05:00

Instead of worrying about silly songs, focus on the life you want. The man you want, and happiness you want. Put your focus on that which EMPOWERS you.....

This post is not really about the white girl song, not exclusively anyway. It's about how many of you fall right into a state of anger and rage when bm do something you consider disrespectful and then internalize the pain. I'm going to show you how to handle anger much more constructively. First off, I need you ladies to understand that bm are FREE AGENTS!!! They can do what they want. Please- whatever you do -stop getting upset about seeing bm with ww! It's really no big deal. Many of you take it as some personal affront and it's not. Your attitude should be indifference. Do you want him? Probably not, so let it go. When you show upset over seeing bm with ww, that means you are still emotionally tied to them, or you think bm BELONG to bw. Honey, -they don't -Thank God. Wish them well on their path and let it go....

Second, I need you ladies to stop seeing ANYONE as your enemy. No matter who it is. You can NEVER consider a whole group of ppl your enemy. You could be alienating alot of good friends. Some ppl of whatever type may treat you bad-leave that (singular) PERSON alone. Yes, I definitely advise bw to be wary /careful of bm as a group, because too many of them are damaged and dangerous. But don't hate them. Anything you hate and despise weakens YOU. That's why you should be Pro- BW, not against BM! You should be pro-bw dating out, not against bm dating out. When you see a wg slobbering all over a bm, giving you snide and smug looks, you should be totally unmoved. Never get upset about something like that, those ppl have a right to do as they wish. The most wonderful part though-is so do you! You have a right to go out and get yourself the sexiest, finest wm you can find. You have a right to marry him and bear his children. You have a right to hold him close, and love him like there's no tomorrow.As long as you are bitter, and filled with hate, you block YOUR own good. Never have hate in your heart at other IR couples, because then you block the same thing from coming your way. It's almost like ppl who hate rich ppl, but secretly want desperately to be rich. As long as they're hating someone else for having riches, they are driving it away from themselves, but they don't even realize it.....

As for the WGS- Many of you have emailed me about this new song. Telling me how it puts ww on a pedestal and once again puts bw down. So what's new about that? They've been doing that for a while now, they're just more bold about it now. Personally, I just don't give a damn. Why would I? And why would you? I have what who I want, but even if I didn't, I certainly would never want a color-struck self hating man-would you? When are you ladies going to realize when you are being played? That song was deliberately intended to piss bw off, and many of you are falling right into character. And when someone is trying hard to piss you off, the best thing you can do is be nonchalant. Nothing gets under an agitator's skin like nonchalance. There's nothing bm want more than to control bw, and keep them off balance, scared, depressed, and available for multiple uses. The last thing in the world we need to concern ourselves with, is what bm want. You need to ask yourself/ves what YOU want? What do you want out of life? WHO do you want? What to you dream of at night when no one else is around. What do you want so badly that you would do it for free? That's what you need to focus on!! Not some stupid song, designed to provoke you to want to fight ww for bm. (And let's face it-that's the whole point of the song) Don't fight anybody over a man-regardless of his color. When women fight over men, the only one who wins is HIM!

The WGS, is designed to feed the ww's ego, and tear down the bw's ego, once again. The best thing bw can do is A. ignore it. or B. grab a WHITE BOY get on the dance floor and act as if the lyrics are reversed. But if it's bothering some of you so much, then why are you listening to it? Why are you dancing to it? Some of y'all really need to develop tunnel vision. See only your goals, and men who will love and respect you. Hear only what you NEED to hear, from those that matter in your life. LOVE ONLY THOSE WHO LOVE YOU BACK!!! Ladies this is not rocket science. Tune out those who don't have your best interest at heart and tune in those who do. And don't bother telling me you can't tell from the start when a man it totally about nothing. Women are very intuitive. Even when he's a master manipulator, we have great intuition. Learn to listen to it. A good rule to follow is:

What to avoid...

a. Have nothing to do with violent criminals

b. Have nothing to do with men with hair trigger tempers.

c. Have nothing to do with men who seem to disrespect women in general

d. Have nothing to do with men who seem to have no game plan for their lives and simply try to live off other ppl. (you'll be the one he'll try to live off soon)

e. Have nothing to do with any man who consistently gives you bad vibes

(that's your intuition trying to warn you of something.)

f. Have nothing to do with men who seem to think the world 'owes' them something. These are the type who go off because someone won't give them money or something. The world owes us nothing but a chance-the rest is up to US...

What to look for:

a. Look for men who generally have respect for all women whether he knows them or not.

b. Look for men who treat you like a lady, and have manners and kindness

c. Look for men who share your interests, and your MORALS.

d. Look for men who are good ppl, WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS WATCHING

e. Look for men who are ambitious, and motivated to do something with their life.....

I think you all get the picture. Even when he tries to fake it. Men are just not smart enough to fake it for long. All you have to do is open up those pretty eyes of yours and really SEE who he is......

Now what to do about the bm who make songs that are designed to put ww on a pedestal......

What sista's need to do is flip the script. Instead of worrying about ww having their massive egos' made bigger. We need to learn to fight fire with fire. Put a fine ass WM on the cover of a BW's magazine! Make a white boy song! Walk proudly down the street with your vanilla prince and stop giving a damn about the stares/glares from bm. Declare to the world, that we no longer care what bm think, just as the Asian women do. They (Asian women) are quick to let everybody know that they are looking for wm, and that they are OPEN! They never waste time worrying about what Asian men think, they simply do what's in their own best interests. And do you know that because of that thought process, there are over a MILLION marriages of WM and AW! The truth is wm marry out far more than ww! But many ppl do not realize this. And did you know that marriages between bw and wm, are the fastest growing IR union??? Well, they are. We need to follow the Asian sistas and do what's best for Us and stop worrying about the constant disrespect coming from bm. Show them by deed we are done. Many men tune a woman out when she's screaming and carrying on. He will not believe she means what she says until she cuts contact. Stop worrying about bm loving up on some wg. I told y'all before. Drive him to the wg's house and leave him there. Let her have him! Get your own swirl on and stop worrying about his. Put your focus and attention on WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE-that's how you get it......